Tag Archives: perspective

Taylor Swift’s Gay Moments: Lover ~ I Think Jo$h Knows (Part 2)

10 Mar

Here’s another Lover track that is more easily understood by separating the perspectives/subjects in the song. I’ll showed you the parts, now here are parts addressing Jo$h:

I think he knows his footprints/On the sidewalk

Lead to where I can’t stop/Go there every night

I think he knows his hands around/A cold glass

Make me wanna know that body/Like it’s mine


got my heartbeat…

…Got that, oh!

I mean

Wanna see what’s under that attitude

Like, I want you,

bless my soul

And I ain’t gotta tell him/I think he knows/I think he knows

I think he knows

When we get all alone/I’ll make myself at home

And he’ll want me to stay

I think he knows

He better lock it down/Or I won’t stick around/’Cause good ones never wait…

…Like, I want you, bless my soul

And I ain’t gotta tell him/I think he knows/I think he knows

Taylor Swift’s Gay Moments: Lover ~ I Think He Knows (Mapping the Song-Part 1)

9 Mar

Here’s another Lover track that is more easily understood by separating the perspectives/subjects in the song. I’ll show you the parts I mean, then do multi posts on the gay content inside each of those parts.

Here’s another song that might be easier to untangle in parts:

I Think He Knows

I color coded the parts of the song that go along with each person:

Fuck!  This was effortful to write!  

So in the song Jo$h is addressed as being suspicious of the nature of Taylor and Karlie’s relationship (friends look at each other like that). Taylor tells of her bearding situation with Joe that helps her career. And she also tells of her affair with Karlie. And Karlie tells us Jo$h is obsessed with her, and she doesn’t have to tell him about Kaylor, because she thinks he knows.

About Jo$h:

I think he knows 

[this is a different thought, though Taylor skipped the punctuation to remain elusive]

his footprints/On the sidewalk…

…I think he knows 

[this one too.  Taylor says she thinks Jo$h knows about Kaylor.]

his hands around/A cold glass…

[Then Taylor describes how Jo$h is drinking and noticing the flirting of Kaylor.  Also speaks to when Jo$h is just drinking, waiting for Karlie to come back to him when Karlie is over at Taylor’s]

…He got my heartbeat

[P.S. I don’t believe in “owning” your lover or spouse, talk to Taylor about that… Anyway, Karlie is in Taylor’s heart.  But Jo$h “has” Karlie, so Taylor cannot be in a full Kaylor serious relationship.  Thus Josh owns Taylor’s heartbeat since he has contractually obligated (either bearding contract or marriage contract) Karlie to be with him]

Got that

[I think this “Got that oh! I mean” is significant. Taylor interrupts herself or is startled by something. It could be that Taylor is talking about Kaylor in loving terms, then Jo$h shows up and she has to quickly switch topics to keep the secret. Worse, the interruption could be showing how Jo$h’s sudden physical presence interrupts Kaylor love-moments.] 

oh! I mean

Wanna see what’s under that attitude…

…And I ain’t gotta tell him [Josh]/I think he knows/I think he knows/I think he knows/Like, I [Taylor] want you [Karlie], bless my soul…/……I think he knows/I want you, bless my…

[This could be repetition by Taylor just to make a catchy song, but I like to think about it as Karlie chiming in and agreeing, by repeating it also.]

And I [Karlie] ain’t gotta tell him [Josh]…/…I think he [Josh] knows/I [Karlie] want you [Taylor], bless my soul…/…

Taylor singing about Kaylor:

Lead to where I can’t stop/Go there every night/Make me wanna know that body/Like it’s mine…/……I want you, bless my soul/Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh/We can follow the sparks, I’ll drive…/…So where we gonna go?/I whisper in the dark/Where we gonna go?

Like, I [Taylor] want you [Karlie], bless my soul [asking for divine protection]

About Joe/Beard:

He got that boyish look that I like in a man/I am an architect, I’m drawing up the plans…/…Skipping down 16th Avenue [Nashville’s music row]


[This verse switches to Karlie’s POV] 

I think he [Jo$h] knows/When we [Kaylor] get all alone/I’ll [Karlie] make myself at [Taylor’s] home

And he’ll [Jo$h] want me [Karlie] to stay

[at Jo$hlie’s house instead of visiting Taylor]

I think he knows/He better lock it down [marry her or sign a contract?]/Or I won’t stick around/’Cause good ones never wait…

He got that boyish look that I like in a man/I am an architect, I’m drawing up the plans

[Karlie is ALSO orchestrating her relationship (whatever it is: sugar-daddy, lavender, poly-bearding, sperm-donor) with Jo$h. Though I tried really, really hard to find a 16th Ave connection for Karlie and never did find one.]

…He’s [Jo$h is] so obsessed with me [Karlie], 

I [Karlie] want you [Taylor], bless my soul/I ain’t gotta tell him [Jo$h]/I think he knows

Commentary to herself (Taylor):

It’s like I’m seventeen, nobody understands/No one understands…/…

[Taylor chimes back in]

and boy I understand/Boy I understand [being obsessed with Karlie]

I’m Sick. And Grumpy.

20 Aug

Last night I started feeling worse and worse.  Normally when I feel something coming on I go to bed super-early.  But I will have to work til midnight really soon and my body is already going to be shocked.  As such, I HAD to stick it out until 9:30PM.  I felt so bad that I turned off my alarm clock (I never sleep to the alarm, but I’d be too nervous if I didn’t set it–just in case) for cleaning the vet hospital in the morning.  I try to go there every other day and had gone Monday, so was set to do it today.  But I had called Monday to make Rusty an appointment–and of course Wednesday was the first they could get me in.  And they were very explicit that I should drop off at 7:30AM.  So with the (impending) sickness, I didn’t think I should get up at 3-4AM, drop off the car, and be unable to nap.  If I get in bed after 5:20AM, I CANNOT sleep no matter how hard I try.  Anyway, so I decided I would clean work Wednesday night and still get it done on the every other day.

I slept fitfully because my body is trying to get sick and out of guilt for not cleaning–even though it’s a flexible schedule and I just have to make sure and go 3x/wk.  But I felt bad anyhow.  In the morning (the cats woke us up at 5:30AM, so I didn’t get tons of sleep), we went to drop Rusty off.  And–he had written that I called on Monday, but neglected to put me on the schedule for today.  So skipping work and dropping off was unnecessary because he put me on the very bottom of their full schedule.  Annoying.  And I felt icky so I almost said something about it.

At the track, I had intended to run a record 400m today.  I thought maybe if I warmed up slowly it could still be done.  Because I’m not completely sick, I can just tell it’s coming on.  But there is still time for preventative sleep/warmth/Zicam/vitamins/fluids.  But as soon as I started jogging I instantly felt TERRIBLE.  Everything ached, I felt tired, my muscles were stiff.  It was unpleasant.  I changed my mind about any speed work and just did a slow 2 miles practicing switching long strides and quick strides.  

When I got back to the apartment complex, the trashy-trashy, white-trash trashy lesboz that park next to us were over the line half in our spot.  So I had to squeeze in very tightly.  And when I opened the door, I was confronted with their barf-covered passenger door.  Who pukes on their car??!  Disgusting.  Cool wrote a note, but the tone was annoyed.  And I am all about feeling annoyed, but hesitated to give it to them, because, trashy people have no boundaries and who knows how they might retaliate.  But Cool put it on their barf-mobile anyway.  Fast-forward:  Next time I went to the car, theirs was gone, and the note was crumpled beside Cool’s car. . .

Rewind:  I went home and Cool made a wonderful huckleberry waffle breakfast.  I was feeling so crummy that the impossible occured and I actually was able to nap for 30 min.  But it wasn’t enough and I still felt like crud.  I get, for lack of better word, annoying sickness.  There’s no outward signs, but I feel feverish and fatigued.  Standing in the kitchen to make a frozen drink for Labor Dave about did me in, and I felt really crummy.  So I look a-OK, but feel ick-scum.  If it does come full-on (it hasn’t yet) I’ll get a fever and a head-cold.  Not cool times for public or for sitting in class.

Anyway, I didn’t get a call until 1:30PM asking permissions and pricing.  So I should have gone to work, and Rusty will not be finished today.  Which is super-annoying, because now Cool goes to work and I’ll have to clean at 3-4AM tomorrow–sacrificing more sleep when I’m (getting) sick.

That’s all.  I’ll work on my graph blogs today since standing up seems too much.  That reminds me, there are just 5 days til school starts and I have a HUGE list of things to do before then.  I’m mentally going insane, but my body won’t cooperate–it’s going to be a low productivity day when I need to kick it into high gear >:-[

How to Chose a Focus or Angle for the Personal Statement

17 Jul

I am sort of on hold with my personal statement as I wait for editing.  You know, making changes while a version is out for review might make things more difficult.  I’d have to piece together my new changes with their input, and this wastes valuable time.  While I wait, I’m not sitting here doing nothing!  Aside from focusing on other projects (CV, neuroanatomy reading, outlining, figures, and tables, flash cards and running) I’m thinking about how to make my personal statement reflect ME.  It not only has to tell a great story of inspiration, career knowledge, and future research/career direction, but has to convey traits about my personality that I want the admissions committee to know.  Mainly–WHY the topics within my personal statement are important to me and how they shape me as a future professional.  In short, this hiatus is the thinking portion of the show. . .  These are great tips for my statement when I get this last version back:



Begin to focus your thoughts by examining your actual experiences. Use the information you’ve uncovered through brainstorming to address the following topics.

• An achievement that made me feel terrific…

• Something I have struggled to overcome or change about myself or my life…

• An event or experience that taught me something special…

• A “real drag” of an experience that I had to get past…

• Someone’s act of strength or courage that affected me…

• A family experience that influenced me in some powerful way…

• A lesson, class project, activity or job that had an impact on my academic or career goals…

• A time I blew it, failed, made bad choices, and how I got past it…

• Some memorable event or advice involving an older person…

• An event that helps to define me, in terms of my background…


Choose one or two of your favorite respones from the list above (or combine a couple that evoked similar responses). Check to make sure your written description addresses the following three questions. If it doesn’t, add details so that the experience you describe will be vivid to a reader who doesn’t know you.

1. What were the key moments and details of the event?

2. What did I learn from this event?

3. What aspect of this event stays with me most?


Decide on a theme for your essay. Taking the experience you wrote about in Step Two, answer the following questions:

•What does this event reveal about me?

•What makes it special or significant?

•How does this event make me special or make me stand out?

• What truth about me is revealed through this event?

-Here are some tips to consider when choosing an experience to evaluate for a focus:

  • It should be unique. It does not have to be life shattering, but you should be able to write about it with conviction, enthusiasm and authority.
  • It should be an experience you feel some passion for. You must be able to support it as a “turning point” in your life. Ask yourself, “How did I change as a result of this experience?” For example, did it give you a new perspective or understanding, did it give you a new direction in life, or help you come to an important realization?
  • Don’t limit yourself to thinking of experiences that can translate well into the moral of ” . . . and that’s why I want to be a doctor.” Choose something that you feel is truly representative of you, and something that you feel you can use to transition to other relevant aspects of your life. Otherwise, your statement may come off sounding staged or strained.
  • It should be sustainable throughout your statement. In other words it has to have enough depth and flexibility to carry you through your statement while avoiding repetition. The details of the event should afford you opportunity to talk about related experiences that you want the people who are considering your for an interview to know.
  • Of course, you don’t want to use up too much of your limited space just setting a scene. Make sure your frame serves multiple purposes:
    • It introduces the occasion of the focus
    • It introduces you
    • It is creative enough to spark interest in the rest of your statement

    By framing the statement with an anecdote, you provide your audience with immediate access to some aspect of your past, your character, and your personality. Also, you give them incentive to read on to find our what happens next.

Self-Inventory for the Personal Statement

9 Jul

Think long and hard about what you want to say.  Ask yourself some questions to get things started (many of which you considered in making the decision to go to graduate school):

  • Why do I want to go to graduate school?

–I want to have a better life and my B.S. isn’t doing it for me.

  • Where/when did this ambition originate? What/who were the greatest influencers in my decision to pursue this goal?

–I research different career options and audiology was not as competitive as vet med, there was a school where I prevet 041currently live and where I want to move, and the pay/stress was much better.  Secondly, there was a client at the vet hospital where I work that said how she had more work then she knew what to do with, and I liked the security of getting into school, getting a job, and having enough work–especially in this economy.

  • What do I want to be able to do at the end of this program that I can’t do with a BA/BS?

–Find a job (w/a decent starting wage that I could live on) work in a non-stressful environment that is better regulated b/c it deals with people rather than animals.

  • What experience do I have in this field?

–Very little.  Though I belong to 2 professional organizations and they update me on current events and details about the career.  I also helped with community hearing screening through my school.  And I observed a hearing aid dispenser (NOT popular w/the AuD community) to get an idea of what what their job entails.

  • What have I done as an undergraduate student to prepare myself for this graduate program?

loudness vs intensity–Aside from the afore-mentioned hearing screenings and observation, I have worked incredibly heard to maintain a 4.0 GPA.  I also took pre-vet courses such as physics and chemistry that help with my background in audiology.

  • How will I contribute to the collective experience of the admitted class?  How am I different from every other student who will apply for this program?

–My frequent moving has given me a regionally wide perspective and diversity (Indian & politics).

–I have knowledge of other professions (vet med) that gives me a different view.

–I may me older and more mature then many of my 20-something classmates.

–I am gay.

  • Why is this the right program for me?

–Colorado is the state I am passionate about, despite having lived in many other places.  I believe it fits my politics, Welcom to CO sunflowercators to my athleticism with all the nature and recreation, and isn’t too large or too small (or too expensive).

–The program, specifically, will be a great fit because I feel I have an aptitude for audiology that I never had with my pre-vet studies.  I like the repetitiveness of it, the concrete measurements, and the technical aspects of the profession.  I also like that you’re still helping people, but in a more indirect, scheduled manner.

–>this is an area I need to know more about

  • What do I know about this particular school, their programs and their faculty?

–I gather from the faculty research bios I found that this school is focused on noise-induced hearing loss, which I am interested in as a music lover, and family member of 2 close relatives (at least) who I believe got their hearing loss this way.

–From their Tumbler page, I gather the school environment is friendly and has more outreach and activities then my current school, which I like.  I want a friendly, college environment (and accessible professors!), but not a huge, huge university.

 –>this is an area I need to know more about!

-How you explain achievements that are not in the other parts of your application
-How and why those achievements or events shaped your interests, goals, etc.


-Why are you a strong applicant?

–The improvement in my grades from undergrad to current show my commitment to the program, and prove I am a place in my life to make school the number 1 priority.

retirement from vet med 013–I am also a strong applicant, because I have a hard-science background and have worked in a hospital environment through my 14 years vet assistant experience.
o What makes you special?

–I’m older and wiser then I was in my 20s

–I need to look into a typical AuD student profile and see how I’m diverse
o What is impressive about your experiences or life?

–I was born on an Indian reservation, grew up in Northern Nevada, went to undergrad in Missouri, and have lived in a big WA city, and a conservative WA city, before coming to CO.  All of those locations have afforded me different perspectives and views.

–I switched career trajectories after undergrad, which gives me knowledge of BOTH professional avenues.
o What influenced your goals?

Honestly, I liked my chances of getting into school, the career growth and security, the low stress, the very sequential way in which the job is performed, and the pay was reasonable.

o Did you experience any personal or family problems that shaped your character?

–My repeated denial from veterinary school made me take a look inward and I had to reevaluate my goals.64417_1626982438227_1346535529_1679999_4120864_n
o How did you become interested in this field?

–I researched what career would best fit with strengths I already had, the location, and job security.  Audiology made the most sense.
o How have you already learned about this field that prepares you for the next step?

–After taking 3 audiology-focused courses (the only ones my school offers) I realized I liked the material, it made sense, I could get into it and see the rationale behind it, and I have barely scratched the surface of the profession.
o What are your future goals?

–I am keeping an open-mind in regards to the avenue I would like to take in the career.  I don’t know enough about each sub-field to make any educated decisions.  The things I know for sure are that I don’t want to do research or take the phD pathway, and I don’t think I would like to do the intraoperative monitoring (too stressful).  I would love to observe and take more classes on educational, dispensing, rehab, and vestibular audiology to see which options draws me in the most.
o What skills/characteristics of yours will contribute to your success in the

Maico MA-25 audm–I am detail-oriented and like the methodical approach to hearing batteries.

–I like the system of checks and balances that is audiometry.

–find more things!

  • What your career plans include

–I am not 100% certain, but I think I might like educational audiology.  If there are available jobs–it seems like a lot of SLPs are working with schools instead.

–I have an interest in aural rehab to help people like my dad who I feel didn’t get enough of that aspect, which is why he was a non-compliant wearer for so long.  He might have really benefitted from rehab.

–Dispensing would be OK as long as sales weren’t the main emphasis.

–As for location, I want to practice in Colorado–either Boulder, Denver, or an area within reasonable driving distance would be acceptable.

  • Where do you hope to have an impact

–Coming from a rural area, I have a soft spot for providing health care where it has not been widely available.  That said, I want stability and the ability to stay in business.

–I would be happy working with children to seniors, but probably not infants, because in vet medicine I really didn’t like the pediatric model where owners are constantly looking over your shoulder.

  • When did your interest in medicine develop

I wanted to be a veterinarian most of my life, but it never worked out for me.  In searching for back up options, I came Walking about-July 2012 039across audiology and enrolled at Riverpoint.  I thought it might work becaus audiologists are in demand so I knew the profession would provide me with stability.  The choice also made sense because my father, an important influence in my life, has hearing loss.  At first, I wasn’t certain if I would be happy working with people rather than animals as I had dreamed for so long.  My first class showed me that it wasn’t necessarily animals I enjoyed it was taking a stand to help those without voices.  Communication sciences allowed me to do just that.  As I was able to take the hearing-centric coursework, my interest grew even more.  I especially like the predictable manner in which a hearing test battery is carried out.

  • How have you demonstrated your interest and commitment to a career in medicine

Aside from taking rigorous hard-science coursework while many partied in school, I have maintained employment in veterinary hospitals for 14 years.  Currently, I apply myself to my studies, tutor others in my program, and participate in conducting every hearing screening opportunity that I am able.

  • What makes you a unique candidate
  • What makes you unique, or at least different from, any other applicant?
  • What attracts you to your chosen career? What do you expect to get out of it?

The stability, career outlook, and livable wages are factors for certain.  I am also drawn to the search and confirmation of hearing pathologies, and like the many avenues the career offers across the lifespan.  I can see myself successfully helping people gain functional communication to enhance their quality of life.

  • When did you initially become interested in this career? How has this interest developed? When did you become certain that this is what you wanted to do? What solidified your decision?

It was relatively recent that I thought about audiology as a viable career option.  The profession isn’t as visible as more cliche dream-careers and I never gave it much thought.  After my veterinary run fizzled, I looked into it and thought I could make that work.  Through my classes, reading of Student Academy of Audiology scientific journal articles, and my own experience performing hearing screenings, I have gained an excitement, and dare I say aptitude, for the work itself.

  • What are your intellectual influences? What writers, books, professors, concepts in college have shaped you?

–I enjoyed learning about the hearing mechanism, pathologies, audiometric techniques, and available technologies in my three audiology-focused undergraduate courses.  I would say I have been most influenced by my aural rehab class, because it opened my eyes to how well patients can adjust, given not only the proper tests and amplification, but the more human aspects–counseling, support, and rehabilitation.  I could easily make the connection to my Dad’s poor/negative experience, non-compliance, and general dissatisfaction and the resulting communication breakdowns and lack of good aural rehab.  The course motivated me to want to help patients as people, and not just test hearing and fit an aid.

–I only watch a documentary called “Sound and Fury” that opened my eyes to feelings about cochlear implants.  I saw perspectives of the deaf community, significant others, the hearing community, and medical professionals.  The movie impacted me, because as a member of the hearing community I have not been exposed to Deaf lifestyles.

  • How has your undergraduate academic experience prepared you for graduate/professional school?

–As a student, it taught me how to study, prioritize, and set boundaries.  I learned basics of science and entry-level communication theories and practices.

–As a person, college showed me how to be more independent, unapologetic for my aspirations, and opened my eyes to different regions, politics, and ways of life.

  • What are two or three of the academic accomplishments which have most prepared you?

Auroa–I think working full time at a veterinary hospital and taking pre-veterinary course work, which entailed many labs taught me how to manage time and organize my life.  I worked under pressure constantly and learned how to manage a full schedule.

  • What research have you conducted? What did you learn from it?

–I have not conducted my own research, but I have assisted other with projects.  At MU, I helped collect temperature data and care for dairy cattle, than hogs.  I learned_____, and it applies to audiology_____

–I didn’t organize the grant money, animal subjects, or staff, but as a Senior in Animal Science I studied the impact of ergovaline on rodent populations in the environmental physiology lab I worked in.  I found the research didn’t take that long, but maintaining the animal welfare and doing paperwork was the majority of the work.  The other thing I learned was that meticulous records and procedures are necessary.  Keeping orderly, meticulous records will help me in the audiology profession to administer the correct test, track patient hearing over time, and manage the amplification payment processes.

–Typing language samples of toddlers at Riverpoint gave me insight into parent-child interactions, and exposure to different child-rearing tactics that will give me more tolerance toward patients from all walks of life.

  • What non-academic experiences contributed to your choice of school and/or career? (work, volunteer, family)

–my father’s hearing loss

–getting into a more regulated profession than vet med

–hearing screenings

  • Do you have specific career plans? How does graduate or professional school pertain to them?

–I know I was to be in the audiology field.  And I know I don’t want to go the phD route or surgical monitoring specialty.  Because I have only had 3 audiology courses, I don’t feel like I could make an informed career choice beyond that.  Before I shut any doors, I want to learn theory, observe practice, and experience more options in the audiology field.  I do want to help people enhance their communication, but I’m not sure which population I would be most suited to work with.  UNC’s AuD program is perfect to help me decide the right route for me.  The fact we will get to see both medical and educational audiologists prior to the externship will give me the necessary exposure to a wider variety of audiological specialties than other schools.

  • How much more education are you interested in?

–My finances would like me to be finished and practicing in the profession right now.  I can do the next four years, especially since 2 of those are clinical years, but I wouldn’t want to complete 8 more and go for a phD or speciality license.

  • What’s the most important thing the admissions committee should know about you?

–I am ready to work hard and when I put my mind to something I will get it done to the best of my abilities.  I have quad in snowarranged my life around this aspiration and as such I am ready to make a large impact.

  • Think of a professor in your field that you’ve had already and that you like and respect. If this person were reading your application essay, what would most impress him or her?
  1. Think of your characteristics or actions that make you distinctive. How would your friends describe what’s important about you to someone who doesn’t know you? Try writing a story about an incident from your life that illustrates one of these characteristics.
  2. Think of one of the most significant learning experiences in your life — an Aha! moment — when you finally understood something for the first time. Write about this experience and relate it to your development and your aspirations.
  3. What do you care about most deeply?
  4. What matters to you?

Ethics matter to me a great deal and I try to reflect inwardly and align my intentions with my actions.  I try to take the high road and do what I know is important and right.  Using my whole-heart along with common sense is important to me, and I’m striving to put those things to action all the time–even when it’s difficult–especially when it’s difficult.

  1. How have you spent your time in the past few years toward working to further this passion or dream?

flashcards 002In the past few years, I have gone back to school, as an alternative student, not the 20-something norm.  This required me to rearrange my priorities in such a way that I could focus my efforts on my studies and furthering my experience in a new field–which was never easy.  I had to gain independence, stop seeking the approval of others, and follow my own path.  This was disappointing to some people, but ultimately, it was imperative that I change direction and pursue what I feel is the most important thing–achieving good grades in order to succeed in school.

  1. What are your plans for fulfilling your dreams?

I plan on moving to a new state in order to matriculate to an audiology program, put finances on hold to pursue education, and invest my whole heart in learning the most I can about speech & hearing sciences so I can help create a humanistic and thorough audiology practice.

  1. Try writing about your current and future efforts, perhaps illustrating #1 or #2.

-What errors or regrets have taught you something important about yourself?

I am hesitant to look upon lessons I’ve learned as mistakes and regrets.  I did the best I could at the time, using what I knew, and what I had at those times.  Somethimes I wished things had turned out differently, but I didn’t have the appropriate tools at my disposal all the time to make that happen.  Therefore, I look at this question as what lessons I have learned–not what errors did I overcome.  I learned that I need the GPA, even over experience or work obligations.  I may not agree with it or think it’s best, but admissions into higher education programs comes down to quantitative walking at workcomparisons.  I have scaled back my work dramatically from the first time around.  I have also resisted joining a lot of clubs or extracurricular activities, even though I am a natural joiner, leader, and team-player.
• When have you been so immersed in what you were doing, that time seemed to evaporate while you were actively absorbed?
• What ideas, books, theories or movements have made a profound impact on you – be honest.
• To what extent do your current commitments reflect your most strongly-held values?
• Where or how do you seem to waste the most time?

I like organizing things

Spending time with my family
Under what conditions do you do your best, most creative work?

I do best when given clear expectations, concrete examples, plenty of time, low pressure, and positive feedback.
• To what extent are you a typical product of your generation and/or culture? How might you deviate from the norm?

• Where/when did this ambition originate? What/who were the greatest influencers in my decision to pursue this goal?
• What do I want to be able to do at the end of this program that I can’t do with a BA/BS?
• What experience do I have in this field?
• What have I done as an undergraduate student to prepare myself for this graduate program?
• How will I contribute to the collective experience of the admitted class? How am I different from other students
applying to this program?
Why is this the right program for me?

welcome 2Honestly, the cost of living and proximity to housing, school, and work is the best thing about it.  As for the program, I like the emphasis on clear speech because it relates closely to rehab considerations and working to improve speech perception–one of my biggest goals.  I also like the focus on speech & hearing science as physics and technology underlies the whole field and what allows us to provide the best patient care.  The more technology improves, the better the outcomes, and maybe one day the prices will drop because the best amplification techniques are so common they saturate the market.
• What do I know about this particular school, their programs and their faculty?

1. Personal History
Are you heading for graduate school straight from undergraduate? If so, what has happened during your undergraduate years to make you certain that you already know what you want to do with your life?

No, as usual I’ve taken the most winding path toward my goals.  I finished my undergrad degree in 2007, then moved a couple times to new states.  I switched from pre-vet tospeech & hearing sciences.  I liked the prospect of helping the underdog along with the greater regulation for humans.
Are you a nontraditional student, five, ten years past undergraduate school? If so, an interesting part of your story will be what in your adult life has led you to return to school.

My future had always been uncertain and I was always chasing schools.  I moved at least 3 different times chasing college admissions and searching for opportunities.  I wanted more stability, and career I could count on, reasonable expectations that I could find a job, work a long time, and make enough money to pay my student loans and live off of.  I found audiology as I looked for something to fulfill those criteria.

2. Personal Life
 Were there any unusual or difficult circumstances in your childhood? In your undergraduate years?
 Do you have family relatives, especially in your chosen field?
 Was there an adult in your life who was especially influential?

3. Academic Life
 Which ideas, fields of research, or problems especially intrigue you?
 Among the professors you have studied with and in reading you have done, who has influenced you the most? Why?

4. Work Life
 Includes jobs, volunteer work, extracurricular activities, and so on.
 “Real-world” work experience is major influence behind a nontraditional student’s decision to go on to graduate school – “moment of truth” in this type situation can make a compelling statement.
 Traditional students should demonstrate familiarity with and competence in the field they want to enter through their work or activities because an admissions committee might ask “What does she know about this field at the age of 21?”

-Watch out for repetitiveness. Did you already address certain experiences or achievements in another part of your application? Don’t repeat information that has already been provided. For example, there is no need to state your specific
GPA or course titles in your essay since they’re on your transcript.

-What do you think is the overall theme?

o Where is the essay most and least persuasive?
o Do the paragraphs have a logical transition?
o Do the paragraphs consistently move from issue to issue?
o Did I use appropriate adjectives in descriptions?
o Were there grammar or spelling mistakes?
o What could make my essay stronger?

  • What is special, unique, distinctive, or impressive about you or your life story? What details of your life (personal or family problems/ history, any genuinely notable accomplishments, people or events that have shaped you or influenced your goals) might help the committee better understand you or help set you apart from other applicants?
  • When did you originally become interested in this field and what have you since learned about it—and about yourself—that has further stimulated your interest and reinforced your conviction that you are well suited to this field? This does not mean that you should write, “Why I want to be a lawyer.” Instead, tell what insights you have gained from certain experiences that reinforce your decision to go to law school
  • How have you learned about this field—through classes, readings, seminars, work or other experiences, internships, or conversations with people already in the field.
  • If work experiences have consumed significant periods of time during your college years, what have you learned (leadership or managerial skills, for example), and how has the work contributed to your personal growth?
  • What are your career goals?

-I absolutely want to focus on the human side of audiology across the span of ages, ensuring my patents’ needs are being met, that they understand the underlying issues and how to work the technology as well as have a realistic expectation for improvement, and really focus on remaining with that patient for the long term, guiding them through any difficulties and managing changes.

  • Are there any gaps or discrepancies in your academic record that you should explain (great grades and mediocre LSAT scores, for example, or a distinct improvement in you GRA if it was only average in the beginning?
  • Have you had to overcome any unusual obstacles or hardships (e.g., economic, familial, physical) in your life?
  • What personal characteristic (integrity, compassion, persistence, for example) do you possess that would enhance your prospects for success in the field or profession? Is there a way to demonstrate or document that you have these characteristics?
  • What skills (leadership, communicative, analytical, for example) do you possess?
  • Why might you be a stronger candidate for graduate school—and more successful and effective in the profession or field—than other applicants?
  • What are the most compelling reasons you can give for the admissions committee to be interested in you?

-It is also important to mention field experiences, like internships, research programs, and extracurricular activities.

-Don’t simply tell me that you volunteered at the soup kitchen, because I probably can read that in your AMCAS application elsewhere. Tell me why you did that, what you learned, how that experience has affected you, and how it will affect the way you intend to practice medicine in the future.

-I taught clogging classes to people aged 4 to 64, which helped me realize I like reading people to identifying weaknesses or confusion and helping them overcome those obstacles.  It’s useful motivation for audiometry, as I will have to counsel people, educate them, and work with them over time to ensure their success.

Transforms blemishes into positives

It’s okay to have flaws! The essay is your chance to show how you have transformed blemishes. For example, if your essay theme is “overcoming obstacles” and you earned a poor grade in a class, but went to a community college at night to repeat the course, it is important for your reader to know this because it is an example of your perseverance. The reader does not want to hear complaints about poor grades or circumstances, but rather wants to know how you have overcome them.

 -Find an Angle

If you are like most people, your life story might well lack significant drama, so figuring out a way to make it interesting becomes the big challenge. Finding an angle is vital. Brainstorm for ideas that emphasize your exceptional qualities, goals, past performances.

-Concentrate on Your Opening Paragraph 
Keep in mind when composing your statement that the lead or OPENING PARAGRAPH IS generally the MOST IMPORTANT. Here you either GRAB the readers attention or lose it. If you are telling a story you will use this first paragraph to introduce the elements most relevant to that story—and the ones that will hold greatest interest for the reader.

  • Determine what you would tell an admission committee member if you had five minutes to answer the question “What is most important for us to know about you?” This exercise will force you to do the type of thinking that must precede the preparation of an effective personal statement.

Too Much [to fit in the personal statement]

4 Jun

There are certain things the admissions committee needs to know about me that I won’t have an opportunity to present elsewhere on my application:  Clogging, community service, scholarship awards, clubs, research and sports.  All of it is not going to fit, so I’m trying to tie in things that directly relate to audiology to have strong connections.  It hurts to chop it though.  But I’ve been working most of the day and think I came up with not only a focus, but the organization (very tentatively).  I also have super-way-too much descriptions which I’ll have to majorly cut–but that comes a little later.

Spring Finals 033

Here’s what I think I’m going to do after reading many personal statements and corrections of those, tips on how to write a good PS, and reworking my info:


!my activity [my taits for stated activity]–>how it relates to AuD traits


Passion *spark*

!shopping w/Dad  [compassion]–>humanistic; aural rehab; p follow-thru



!clogging [dedicated; patient teacher]–>dedication; notice uncertainty

!community service clubs [honest; sensitive]–>diverse; compassion; counsel; flexibility; modification

!hearing screens [enthusiastic; thorough]–>refer; thorough

!tutoring in SHS [pass on love of learning; share motivation]–>teach & apply my own knowledge



!vet jobs [detail-oriented; independant; humane; tough; self-driected]–>communication, dx practice, professional, independant

!classes/scholarships [driven; determined; hard-working]–>unstd sci; foundational knowledge, ability to study; aprised of technology; current techniques

!animal science research [critical thinking; meticulous; practical]–>practical; analytical



!lang. transcription research [organized; order]–>effiecient; exposure

!speaker chara (UU emphasis + specific prof/papers) [ethical]–>implications for compliance; p benefit; QoL

!for eventual superior aural rehab in practice [loyal; follow-thru]–> relating back to Dad

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Focus UP!

27 Oct

I didn’t even want to write about this, because doing so gives it my energy, gives the problem some legitamacy, and lends credance to the issue.  My plan:  Write it down, get it out, move on.  This doctor at work, now speaks to me with the $hittiest inflection.  Very hostile and condescending and critical.  Yesterday, she cut me off mid-sentence, in essence telling me to shut the fu(k up.  I was so taken aback that an adult–a professional, no less–would conduct herself in such a manner, that I did not stand up for myself. . .


And I know she is just holding a grudge because I was super-stressed to work on her days, and my schedule (after 3 years) was finally changed.  A compromise was establishlished–I still work a portion of that day, and with that doctor-it’s just less.  But she liked my work (not necessarily me or my personality) on that day and is treating me with overt hostility as punishment.

And I know this is HER problem.  It has very little to do with me and the best thing to do is ignore it, let it roll off my back, continue working hard (like always) during my new schedule–without guilt or stress.  And I tell myself that I have dealt with MUCH worse–scapegoating by Mary once I knew too many of her secrets and hello, I was a cheerleader.  I’ve had waaay more severe bitchiness directed at me before.  And no good will come from showing any sort of reaction–whether it be an assertive comment that the treatment is inappropriate and won’t be tolerated, a phony “joke” alerting her that I realize this intentional behavior is going on and I don’t like it, or some sort of dirct confrontation *shudder*

But it’s hard.  The unfairness stays in the back of my mind.  I know I need to be the bigger person and ignore it.  I also know I could employ some sort of uncharacteristic obvious vulnerability so she can SEE I have feelings.  Cool says I come off “tough”–for lack of better word.  I seem resilaiant so people assume I can handle any amount of their BS and be fine.  I may have a hard exterior, but I’m quite soft and sensitive inside.  I practiced pouting yesterday, and it was very unnatural and humerous, indeed.  I could also be totally phony and upbeat despite the negativity from her, and make my life easier for myself.

deer 3

The main things to remember:

-it’s her deal–I don’t want to play into this or be THAT person.

-this doesn’t matter to my big goals

-I do not frequently see her

-I am out of HERE in 1.5 years tops.  Hopefully, a little sooner.

-thinking about this at all pulls my mind from what’s important–this week:  Hard test, house-sitting, “easier” class’ most difficult unit exam.  Winterizing.

That’s all the attention I’m giving this problem.  That’s all the energy she will take from me.

  • Focus (mylifeinmlm.wordpress.com)
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When Doing a Group Project. . .

29 Jun

Don’t get me started on the legitimacy of group projects.  I really think it is an instructor’s lazy way out of planning, grading, and time-management.  But part of the problem of groups are social behaviors of the members.  I guess as a general rule, people just don’t know how to work in teams well.  As a lifelong member of sports, leadership, student council, and clubs, I’ll impart some key points I have taken from successful interactions–and those that weren’t so much:

-Firstly, you are all in the group and that’s it.  So instead of kicking mud, just buck up and get it done.  You’ll have to accept Laurel's pics 476the fact that you’re going to work together as a team.

-Instead of looking for differences in team members, search for commonalities.  Believe me, this will help everyone find a middle ground and work nicer.

-Find something for everyone to do.  Make sure everyone has an equal part in the project.  Saying *insert task* here is already taken care of is closed-off.  Group projects are open and even things that are perceived to be done can always be improved upon.

Follow the golden rule–do unto others as you want done to you.  Don’t say or do things you wouldn’t want said & done to you.

Laurel's pics 055-Don’t shut ideas down.  Never say something negative when a new idea is brought to the table.  It takes courage to speak up about an idea, AND it might work.  Thinking of reasons why things won’t work is annoying and change-averse.  Especially if it’s the first thing out of your mouth.  Even if you think the idea 100% will never work, entertain it for a second.  How could it work?  Can it be modified?  Even if not, acknowledge the idea, take time to mull it over, and attempt to change it so it would work.  Discuss the pros & cons.  Shooting down ideas makes people stop saying them.

-Meet in the middle.  Compromise is the name of the game.  Give and take is central to group work.  If you get your way one time, offer for the other person/people to also get their way.  Keep it equal, and everyone’s Laurel's pics 157stamp will be on the project.  I think this is why some people slack off in group work–they don’t feel as if they CAN make a contribution, by having any control over the outcome of the project.  So they give over full control (all the work) to the dominant person.  Make sure everyone gets something they want–or you may just end up with ALL the work.

-Don’t criticize the other person’s efforts.  Even if you think they suck.  And if you must–b/c it’s explicitly against the project’s guidelines or some other extreme situation–temper it with 2 pieces of praise.  People remember negative things far better.  So if you gently put down a person’s idea (only b/c it is El Nino, L cubed, L-Tronexplicitly against the rules!) really, tell them 2 ideas of theirs you like.  Sounds cheesy–but really do this.

-Never use the words, “bad,” “insensitive,” or marginalizing a population” in association with your partner’s ideas or work.  I mean, c’mon this should be basic stuff–but using negative language to describe other group members or their ideas is off-putting, rude, and counter-productive.  Refer to golden rule above.

-Don’t ignore problems.  They need to be dealt with early on.  Silence makes problems grow, not disappear.  And it is disrespectful to other member’s feelings to deny problems or concerns.  When there is a disagreement, do not undervalue the other person’s feeling or opinions by saying there is no problem, and adding statements like, “relax” 8th grade VBor “chill out.”  You are pretty much saying, “You are oversensitive and stupid and I’m not listening to your high maintenance complaints.”  Not the greatest attitude from teamwork or productivity.

-Communications have broken down, nobody is happy, and some rules above were broken.  You have to fix it.  Firstly, take responsibility for YOUR bad behaviors.  Whatever they were.  Then, listen.  Really listen to the group’s concerns.  And all of you work together to FIX it.  Don’t rehash who’s fault it was or what went wrong–move to correct things.  Address problems by actively brainstorming solutions.  This is critical–don’t just complain or point out problems, say how to make errors better.  Otherwise you will be up against a defensive, upset Laurel's pics 555reaction.  The group will probably break down all-together at this point, and then what?  One person will end up doing all the work, everyone will be disgruntled, and nobody likes that story.

-OK, so you don’t like an idea or portion of the other person’s work.  Instead of bad-mouthing it, vetoing it, or deleting it, why not just modify it?  ADD to it to make it better.  Just remember to keep the original idea.  This is what can make a group project great.  This is multiple people linking brains to make things better then just one person alone.  It’s what will make everyone invested in the project too–and keep communication open, and respectful, and Sierra Exif JPEGpositive.

-I should have said this sooner, but start right away.  It is much easier to edit then conceptualize.  And one procrastinator holds up the entire group, because steps cannot be skipped without making crucial decisions as an individual.  Make all the decisions FIRST, and then if there is a lazy, slacker, procrastinator, at least you have the outline or bones of the project ready to turn in.  Let me repeat–Don’t save the project until the last minute, b/c this makes your partner have to procrastinate as well (Douche).

-Lastly, make sure to give everyone props.  Everyone should walk away feeling appreciated and valued and proud of their own and everyone else’s contribution to a project well done.


Laurel's pics 233And when you’re watching a presentation:

-Don’t embarrass the presenters.  The experience is already nerve-wracking, don’t be a dick.  Remember–YOU have to take a turn up front too.

-Don’t ask intense questions they can’t answer.  Leave that to the instructor.

-It would actually be cool if you asked an easy or fun question the presenter might be confident about or ready to discuss.  Laurel's pics 833It’s OK to make other people look good–they just might return the favor.

-Don’t dispute what they say.  There’s no point to this–have you ever been presenting and someone’s argument made you change your facts?  No of course not, it’s too late.  This only makes people feel dumb and embarrassed.  It’s counter-productive and ass-holish to call peers on erroneous facts when the research is complete, papers are written, and it’s too late to do anything about it.

-Don’t criticism their research, visuals, or presenting style while they are putting themselves out there in front of the class.  facial muscles 1People are nervous.  They are humans.  Refer to golden rule.

-Especially don’t do these things if you’re the instructor.

-If you think someone was ill-prepared or did a shitty job, take off points.  No need for public humiliation   Shame on you, bitchy prof.


Anyway, as a person who hates, hates, hates putting my grades in someone else’s hands, I hope some of these tips help every person in a team and make the project even better!  Because let’s face it, those mo-fo professors aren’t soon going to grade twice the work, take twice the time, and assign individual projects. . .

The Gold Standard

20 Oct

The professor of my 2nd class isn’t all that great–at teaching undergrad courses.  Maybe she’s awesome with the grad students.  Maybe she’s an outstanding researcher.  In class–she has her issues.

Firstly, she straight up told our class (100+ undergrads in a required Junior-level core-class) that her priority was not teaching core classes–she had research deadlines that were a higher priority.  So not that stellar–even if it’s the truth or even if they’re thinking it.  The profs should at least pretend they want to be in class.  Because we don’t necessarily want to take a general core class either–but we are expected to show up, participate, and test well.  And if the instructor doesn’t like the class and doesn’t want to be there–why would we?

Secondly–the expectations, and syllabus are vague.  I’m talking it literally says September-ish exam 1, October exam 2. . .  No specific dates, no specific chapters/content.  And when the class asks when the exam will be, she literally says, “I don’t know, I can’t be tied down to dates.”  Not my favorite.  At all. It’s a schedule that demands cramming–which I don’t do well with, and on many days (ten hour work ones) don’t have time for.

Thirdly, the prof asks for participation but implicitly discourages it by talking over people, being judgmental, and lastly by saying, “What do you think?” when asked a question, instead of hinting at, giving, or offering a resource for the answer.  Which makes people afraid to raise their hand to offer an answer or even ask questions.

Finally, and annoyingly, her eye contact sucks.  She habitually teaches to the first row (in an auditorium) or ONLY looks at the boisterous people who participate a lot.  And if you do ask/answer a question or contribute to the discussion, she will teach specifically to that person–for the next half hour or so.  It’s awkward.

Here’s an example of an exchange between the prof and (unfortunately, it turns out) me:

Prof:  “I’m not sure where the 75% standard came from.  There is no research to back up a 75% mastery level–and 90% is the gold standard. I have no idea why that is becoming popular all of a sudden. . .”

Me:  After gingerly raising my hand and being called.  “Did the authors of the textbook maybe take the economy into account where they wrote 75% as the mastery level?”

Prof:  Annoyed (that she thinks I’m off topic and off track) “Morphemes have nothing to do with the parent’s income level–that’s language acquisition that is affected by Socioeconomic level.”

Me:  Trying to clarify what I meant while she is continually interrupting me and talking over, “But in public schools with a large case load and minimal resources maybe they have adjusted the standards?”

Prof:  “Do you [eyeing me as if I took school funding away and re-wrote the mastery levels in the textbook to justify graduating children at lower mastery levels to lower the case loads] think that’s right?  It is OK to take someone out of treatment when they still have an error a quarter of the time?!”

Me:  Trying to understand and relate to the reality of the situation, think and say, “Well, obviously 25% errors for that ONE individual are not optimal, but if by graduating that ONE person I was able to help a hundred more low kids become average, well. . .”

Prof:  [I suspect realizing that 90% and the gold standard may not be a reality because of funding,] says she thinks that sucks and we as a profession should aim higher–while still looking and talking to me as if I were behind (and in support of) the whole thing, just because I asked if that was the intent behind the textbook authors.  Then, every time standards or finances were discussed during the entire rest of the hour lecture–she would look back to me.

These are things that make life harder–for me.  And as you can see, I had no intention of challenging the prof and making her dislike me. . .

Pine Ridge Reservation-Wounded Knee [Wiki x4]

19 Jul

Indigenous issues are very close to my heart as a Salish of the Flathead Nation, where struggles with poverty, and with the government are constant.  I’m not certain why illegal Hispanics and black issues continue to take front and center in the political realm without hardly a mention of Indian struggles.  Americans need to remember what was done, and know there is still very substancial suffering as a result of those actions.

I watched a documentary about the shoot-out on Pine Ridge and it brought up many questions about the reservation, wounded Knee Incident, and the White Clay beer sales.  As such, I greedily read the associated Wiki pages, and for your ease, have compiled them here.  I’m still looking for a free documentary or kindle book. . .  This is a long set of information, but very worth the read:

-Pine Ridge was established in 1889 in the southwest corner of South Dakota on the Nebraska border. Today it consists of 3,468.86 sq mi (8,984.306 km2) of land area and is the eighth-largest reservation in the United States.

-Only 84,000 acres (340 km2) of land are suitable for agriculture.

[that’s only 3.8% of the land good for agriculture a.k.a. survival]

-According to the USDA, in 2002 there was nearly $33 million in receipts from agricultural production on Pine Ridge. Less than one-third of that income went to members of the tribe.

-As of 2011, population estimates of the reservation range from 28,000 to 40,000. Numerous enrolled members of the tribe live off the reservation

  • 80% of residents are unemployed (versus 10% of the rest of the country);
  • 49% of the residents live below the Federal poverty level (61% under the age of 18);
  • Per capita income in Shannon County is $6,286;
  • The Infant Mortality rate is 5 times higher than the national average;
  • Because of the high rate of alcoholism on the reservation, one in four of its children are born diagnosed with either FASD or FAS.
  • The school drop-out rate is over 70%,
  • teacher turnover rate is 800% that of the U.S. national average.
  • Native American amputation rates due to diabetes is 3 to 4 times higher than the national average;
  • Death rate due to diabetes is 3 times higher than the national average; and
  • Life Expectancy in 2007 was estimated to be 48 for males and 52 for females (the population on Pine Ridge has among the shortest life expectancies of any group in the Western Hemisphere)
  • adolescent suicide rate is four times the United States national average.

-The population of Pine Ridge suffer health conditions commonly found in Third World countries, including high mortality ratesdepression,alcoholismdrug abusemalnutrition and diabetes, among others.

-Many of the families have no electricity, telephone, running water, or sewage systems; and many use wood stoves to heat their homes, depleting limited wood resources.

– the reservation has little economic development or industry. No banks or discount stores are located on the reservation.

[Events that led up to why things are so bad now:]

-Initially the U.S. military tried to turn away trespassing miners and settlers. Eventually President Grant, the Secretary of the Interior, and the Secretary of War, “decided that the military should make no further resistance to the occupation of the Black Hills by miners.”[5] These orders were to be enforced “quietly”, and the President’s decision was to remain “confidential.”

-the Sioux resisted giving up what they considered sacred land. [Which was initially set aside as reservation land by US government] The U.S. resorted to military force. They declared the Sioux Indians “hostile” for failing to obey an order to return from an off-reservation hunting expedition by a specific date, but in the dead of winter, overland travel was impossible.[7]

-In 1876 the U.S. Congress decided to open up the Black Hills to development and break up the Great Sioux Reservation. In 1877, it passed an act to make 7.7 million acres (31,000 km2) of the Black Hills available for sale to homesteaders and private interests.

-Wounded Knee Massacre:

[different from the Wounded Knee Incident, which is discussed a little later]

-On the morning of December 29, the troops went into the camp to disarm the Lakota. One version of events claims that during the process, a deaf tribesman named Black Coyote was reluctant to give up his rifle, saying he had paid a lot for it.[12] A scuffle over Black Coyote’s rifle escalated and a shot was fired, which resulted in the 7th Cavalry opening firing indiscriminately from all sides, killing men, women, and children, as well as some of their fellow troopers. Those few Lakota warriors who still had weapons began shooting back at the troopers, who quickly suppressed the Lakota fire. The surviving Lakota fled, but U.S. cavalrymen pursued and killed many who were unarmed.

-In the end, U.S. forces killed at least 150 men, women, and children of the Lakota Sioux and wounded 51 (four men, and 47 women and children, some of whom died later); some estimates placed the number of dead at 300.

-Twenty-five troopers also died, and thirty-nine were wounded (six of the wounded would also die).[13] Many Army victims were believed to have died by friendly fire, as the shooting took place at close range in chaotic conditions.

-A law passed in Congress in 1832 banned the sale of alcohol to Native Americans. The ban was ended in 1953 by Public Law 277, signed by President Dwight D. Eisenhower. The amended law gave Native American tribes the option of permitting or banning alcohol sales and consumption on their lands.

-On January 25, 1904 President Theodore Roosevelt signed an executive order returning the 50 square miles of the of the White Clay Extension into the public domain. The town of Pine Ridge (often called Whiteclay), in Sheridan County, Nebraska, just over the border from the reservation, was established in the former “Extension” zone and quickly started selling alcohol to the Oglala Sioux.

-During World War II, in 1942 the Department of War annexed 341,725 acres (1,382.91 km2) of the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation for use by the United States Army Air Force as an aerial gunnery and bombing range.

-It condemned privately held land owned by tribal members and leased communally held tribal land.

-Another family forced to give up their land was that of Dewey Beard, a Miniconjou Sioux survivor of the Wounded Knee Massacre. One of the models for the Indian Head nickel, he was 84 years old at the time of the taking and still supported himself by raising horses on his 908-acre (3.67 km2) allotment received in 1907. The compensation provided by the government was nominal and paid out in small installments insufficient to make a down payment on other property; Dewey Beard and others like him became homeless. He testified before Congressional hearings in 1955 when the Sioux sought to address their grievances over the land taking.[25]

“For fifty years I have been kicked around. Today there is a hard winter coming. I do not know whether I am to keep warm, or whether to live, and the chance is I might starve to death.”~Dewey Beard’s 1955 testimony before Congress at age 97 on the taking of his land for inclusion in the Badlands Bombing Range

-Longstanding divisions on the reservation resulted from deep-seated political, ethnic and cultural differences. Many residents did not support the tribal government.

-Officials of the Bureau of Indian Affairs, administrators and police, still had much influence at Pine Ridge and other American Indian reservations, which many tribal members opposed.

Richard A. “Dick” Wilson was elected chairman (also called president) of the Oglala Lakota Sioux of the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota.

-opponents of Wilson protested his sale of grazing rights on tribal lands to local (white)ranchers at too low a rate, reducing income to the tribe as a whole, whose members held the land communally. They also complained of his land-use decision to lease nearly one-eighth of the reservation’s mineral-rich lands to private companies.

-Most recently, many residents were upset about what they described as the autocratic and repressive actions by the current tribal president Dick Wilson, elected in 1972.

-Some full-blood Oglala believed they were not getting fair opportunities.

-He also began showing what his detractors would describe as authoritarian behavior. In his first week, he challenged the eligibility of council member Birgil L. Kills Straight because of residency requirements.

-He preferred governing using the five-member executive council instead of consulting with the full tribal council of 18, which several times he called into session on important issues only belatedly.[5]

-He was criticized for favoring family and friends with jobs and benefits.  In response, Wilson reportedly said, “There’s nothing in tribal law against nepotism.”[

-creating a private militiaGuardians of the Oglala Nation(GOONs), to suppress political opponents, which he paid from tribal funds.

– introduced eight charges of impeachment against Wilson at a council meeting. They charged him with nepotism in hiring tribal government staff, operating the tribe without a budget, two counts of misappropriating tribal resources for personal use, failing to compel the treasurer to make an audit report, failing to call the full tribal council according to the bylaws, using the executive committee to bypass the housing board, and illegally arresting Keith.

-After an attempt to impeach Wilson failed, his opponents had a grassroots uprising. Several hundred Lakota people marched in protest, demanding the removal of Wilson from office. US Marshals were assigned to protect Wilson and his family.

February 27, 1973, AIM Organization accepted the responsibility of providing all necessary strength and protection needed by the Oglala Sioux in the efforts to rid themselves of corrupt tribal president, Dick Wilson. Because this degenerated human being is financed and wholly supported by the FBI, CIA, BIA, U.S. Justice Dept., and the U.S. Marshals, it is virtually impossible to for any Oglala to voice any kind of opinion which may run contrary to this puppet government with out being arrested or beaten…a policy that cannot go unchallenged or unanswered.

-About 200 AIM and Oglala Lakota activists occupied the hamlet of Wounded Knee on February 27, 1973. They demanded the removal of Wilson, restoration of treaty negotiations with the U.S. government, and correction of U.S. failures to enforce treaty rights.

-Another concern was the failure of the justice systems in border towns to prosecute white attacks against Lakota men who went to the towns for their numerous saloons and bars.

-The Oglala Lakota saw a continuing pattern of discriminatory attacks against them in towns off the reservation, which police did not prosecute at all or not according to the severity of the crimes; they were also increasingly discontented with the poor conditions at Pine Ridge.

-February 25, 1973 the U.S. Department of Justice sent out 50 U.S. Marshals to the Pine Ridge Reservation to be available in the case of a civil disturbance.”[2] This followed the failed impeachment attempt and meetings of opponents of Wilson.[2]

-AIM says that its organization went to Wounded Knee for an open meeting and “within hours police had set up roadblocks, cordoned off the area and began arresting people leaving town… the people prepared to defend themselves against the government’s aggressions.

-The federal government established roadblocks around the community for 15 miles in every direction. In some areas, Wilson stationed his GOONs outside the federal boundary and required even federal officials to stop for passage.

-Visits by the U.S. senators from South Dakota, FBI agents and United States Department of Justice (DOJ) representatives, were attended by widespread media coverage, but the Richard Nixon administration was preoccupied internally with Watergate.[22]

[The Wounded Knee incident officially began February 27, 1973]

-Members of the Oglala Lakota, the American Indian Movement, and supporters occupied the town.

-The activists chose the site of the 1890 Wounded Knee Massacre for its symbolic value.

-The events electrified American Indians, who were inspired by the sight of their people standing in defiance of the government which had so often failed them. Many Indian supporters traveled to Wounded Knee to join the protest. At the time there was widespread public sympathy for the goals of the occupation, as Americans were becoming more aware of longstanding issues of injustice related to American Indians.

-while the United States Marshals ServiceFederal Bureau of Investigation agents and other law enforcement agencies cordoned off the area.

-The equipment maintained by the military while in use during the siege included fifteen armored personnel carriers, clothing, rifles, grenade launchers, flares, and 133,000 rounds of ammunition, for a total cost, including the use of maintenance personnel from the National Guard of five states and pilot and planes for aerial photographs, of over half a million dollars.

-After 30 days, the US government tactics became harsher when Kent Frizell was appointed from DOJ to manage the government’s response. He cut off electricity, water and food supplies to Wounded Knee, when it was still winter in South Dakota, and prohibited the entry of the media.

-When Lawrence “Buddy” Lamont, a local Oglala Lakota, was killed by a shot from a government sniper on April 26, he was buried on the site in a Sioux ceremony. After his death, tribal elders called an end to the occupation.[6] Knowing the young man and his mother from the reservation, many Oglala were greatly sorrowed by his death.

-Both sides reached an agreement on May 5 to disarm.[2][3] With the decision made, many Oglala Lakota began to leave Wounded Knee at night, walking out through the federal lines.[6] Three days later, the siege ended and the town was evacuated after 71 days of occupation; the government took control of the town.

-turned into an armed standoff lasting 71 days.

-Wilson remained in office and, following the occupation, violence increased on the reservation, with residents reporting attacks by his GOONs.

-More than 50 of Wilson’s opponents died violently in the next three years

-When Wilson ran for reelection in 1974, he faced a dozen challengers. He placed second in the primary, and defeated Russell Means in the runoff election on February 7.

-A United States Civil Rights Commission investigation reported ballot tampering, a large number of ineligible voters, improprieties in the appointment of the election commission, and “a climate of fear and tension.” Its report concluded the election results were invalid, but a federal court upheld Wilson’s reelection.[23]

-Wilson was only the third person to be elected to consecutive terms as Oglala Sioux Tribal Chair since the position was created in 1936.

-The murder rate between March 1, 1973, and March 1, 1976, was 170 per 100,000; it was the highest in the country. Detroit had a rate of 20.2 per 100,000 in 1974 and at the time was considered “the murder capital of the U.S.” The national average was 9.7 per 100,000.[31]

[Wow *shakes head*]

-More than 60 opponents of the tribal government died violent deaths in the three years following the Wounded Knee Incident, a time many residents called the “Reign of Terror”.

-Among those killed was Pedro Bissonette, executive director of the civil rights organization OSCRO.[32] Residents accused officials of failing to try to solve the deaths

-In this period of increased violence, on June 26, 1975, the reservation was the site of an armed confrontation between AIM activists and the FBI in what became known as the Pine Ridge Shootout.[37]

-Two FBI agents, Jack R. Coler and Ronald A. Williams, and the AIM activist Jim Stuntz were killed.

-After being strongly defeated in the 1976 election for tribal chairman, Wilson moved with his family off the reservation.

-Alcoholism among residents has been a continuing problem in the life of the reservation since its founding.

Pine Ridge, Nebraska (also known as Whiteclay), a border town selling millions of cans of beer annually, primarily to residents from the reservation in South Dakota, where alcohol possession and consumption is prohibited.

-The town of Whiteclay, Nebraska (just over the South Dakota-Nebraska border) has approximately 12 residents and four liquor stores, which sold over 4.9 million 12-ounce cans of beer in 2010 (13,000 cans per day), almost exclusively to Oglala Lakota from the reservation.

-In 1999, after the murders of two young Lakota men at Whiteclay, Oglala Sioux Tribe (OST) and supporting groups, such as Nebraskans for Peace, protested publicly for the state to do something about controlling or shutting down beer sales in the town.

-They also asked for the county to provide increased law enforcement in the hamlet, which is 22 miles from the seat of rural Sheridan County, Nebraska.

-During 2006 and 2007, tribal activists tried to blockade the road inside the reservation to confiscate beer being illegally brought in. The OST police chief complained of having insufficient money and staff to control the beer traffic

-tribal police estimate that 90 percent of the crimes are alcohol related.[87]

-widespread alcoholism on the reservation, which is estimated to affect 85 percent of the families.

-In 2004 the Oglala Sioux Tribe voted down a referendum to legalize alcohol sales, and in 2006 the tribal council voted to maintain the ban on alcohol sales, rather than taking on the benefits and responsibility directly.

-While other tribes and reservations also prohibited alcohol at one time because of Native American vulnerability to abuse, many have since legalized its sales on their reservations in order to use the revenues generated to improve health care and life on the reservation, as well as to be able to control the regulation of alcohol sales and police its use.

-They say that if the tribe legalized alcohol sales, it could keep much of the revenues now flowing to Nebraska and to state and federal taxes, and use such monies to bolster the reservation’s economy and health care services, including building a much-needed detoxification facility and rehab services.

-On February 9, 2012 the Oglala Sioux Tribe filed a lawsuit in U.S. District Court of Nebraska against the four liquor stores in Whiteclay, Nebraska who sold over 4.9 million 12.oz cans of beer in 2010, almost exclusively to Pine Ridge residents, as well as the beverage distributors who deliver the product, and the brewery companies who make it.

-The suit; Oglala Sioux Tribe v. Jason Schwarting, Licensee of Arrowhead Inn, Inc. et al, is seeking $500 million in damages for the “cost of health care, social services and child rehabilitation caused by chronic alcoholism on the reservation, which encompasses some of the nation’s most impoverished counties.”[44]

-The suit claims that the defendants knowingly and willingly sell excessive amounts of alcohol with the knowledge that most of said alcohol is smuggled onto the reservation, in violation of Pine Ridge Indian Reservation and Federal law.