Tag Archives: pet-peeves

Who Do You Think You Are???

31 Dec

This one is directed at you, Richard Gere.  AND and other aged men trying to recapture their youth.  AND movie-makers.  Take note:

Ugh, does Richard Gere play the same character in EVERY movie?  I’ve heard of type-casting, but shouldn’t it at least make SENSE?  This guy isn’t youthful or alluring.  He needs to get a grip and come back down to Earth!  How in the world is an old guy with gray hair always portrayed as a heart-throb?  Frankly, no 20 year old girl is going to fall for a middle-aged (creeping up on elderly) dude—not unless he earned the salary of actual Richard Gere. Enough already with the romantic comedies. . .

Update:  I just saw “Looking for Mr. Goodbar” and Richard Gere is unrecognizable.  His hair has color!  Still, NOT hot.

Love Wish List

31 Dec

Disclaimer:  All right, I have a blog topic, but I’ve been holding back for fear it’s not nice.  I don’t mean for this to be offensive (except maybe to Douche), so don’t take it personally.   I realize love interests come in a diversified shade of varieties.  I just want to adhere to a minimum set of standards to keep ME happy.  So come on variegated love-choices, just make sure you generally fit the criteria.

I think it’s a good idea to have standards in mind before I get involved with anyone.  I never want to hurt any feelings, so end up compromising what I want sometimes.  I will not enter into more dead-end relationships.  More importantly, I will not let the past ruin me—I will remain open and unscathed so as to maximize my chances of finding the right person. Taking the lead from Alanis Morressette here are “21 Things I Want in a Lover.”  Probably more:

-Preferably thin, but will settle for athletic or slightly curvy (we can take up running)

-Enjoys good food.  I LOVE to eat, so they can’t be a super-picky eater.

-Likes to cook (a chef would be ideal!).

-No red hair

-MUST shower every single day

-Hygienic!!!!

-Keeps a clean house, or at least not disgusting

-Needs to like animals

-RESPONSIBLE for any pets.  No more I *love* my (neglected, unhealthy, untrained) pet

-Needs a job.  Shows up at said job.  Works while at the job.  Can’t sleep during work!

-Has their own transportation

-Open to moving (not immediately, but some day)

-Not riddled with debt

-Doesn’t spend too much money

-Goals in life—you’re not just gonna live off me

-No degree is necessary, but have brains and common sense

-Someone who reads

-No dummies, good spelling and grammar is requested

-Witty would be nice

-Maturity

-Has clear boundaries–and respects MINE

-Upstanding morals.  I can let go of your past, but it shows your character

-Doesn’t NEED to be constantly in the presence of other people (I’m a home-body)

-Does not need to call or see parents every day

-Not a door mat

-Likes to drive, cause it’s not MY favorite

-Likes to do active things

-Also likes to sit still and watch movies

-Doesn’t need public displays of affection to be happy

-Uninhibited, ummm, you know 😉

-Enjoys giving massage (hey a girl can dream!)

-Laid back—I’m high strung enough for the both of us

And obviously, you don’t have to meet ALL of these criteria, it’s just a guideline.  The list isn’t THAT long.  I mean, some of these shouldn’t even have to be said. . .

Edit:  OMG!  I can’t believe I forgot to mention the #1 instant deal-breaker.

NO SMOKING of any kind.  Not when drinking, not occasionaly, no chewing.  Tabacco is disguesting!!!!

Random Peeve of the Day: Use of Personal Technological Device on Work Time

30 Dec

I don’t understand where people get off, and feel dogmatic in this upcoming rant.  People at my current job, former jobs, and I’m sure your job do personal things at work, while clocked in!  I find it appalling, and am about to assail them with my (true) observations.  Let’s not even talk about Noah’s Ark–the employees were always up to some legerdemain, and took advantage of our kind bosses in so many ways, texting seemed banal.  I suppose at that job, we were lucky if anyone showed up to work half sober–our employers were hardly authoritarian is their management style.  It is an enigma to me that people feel they have the right to clock in and then do personal things at work.  So what if work is dull-that’s why they call it WORK.

Now I work at a more hard-core veterinary hospital.  Somehow it’s a diluted version of the same stuff.  I’m always walking around a corner and seeing not only our 20 year veteran technician, not only our self proclaimed “Head tech and Office Manager” texting AND checking his Facebook account (not even trying to masterfully hide it), I see the veterinarians doing it!  Shhesh, what the hell?!  Honestly, I don’t understand the mentality of needing to be yoked to your i-phone like it’s some sort of physically attached limb.  Life is not constantly bland–learn to entertain your mind without technology–better yet WORK.

I think it’s pretty difficult and hippocritical to come down all dictatorial and reprimand our new receptionist for checking Facebook on work time when not only her immediate supervisor does the exact same thing, but her boss is sending personal texts too!  Superiors at work shouldn’t act like any plebeian dope hired off the street–they should set an example!  Don’t ask your employees to do anything you wouldn’t do yourself.  God, when I own my own business I am going to be amartinet about what my employees are doing on MY time–who cares if they think it’s overbearing!

Another popular form of bilking your (veterinary) employer?  Tending to personal pets during the work day, when you are already late to work, or making other employees do things for your animal while they are clocked in.  Our normally imperiousvet is one of the worst offenders too!

For the frugal, who do not want to pay a pet sitter, it’s really nice (especially for people with dogs) to work at a vet hospital because it usually means you can bring your pet to work, board it (for cheap to free) when you need, and you can get an appointment anytime you want.  I hate when people take advantage of this!

One of the vets (the usually bossy and OCD one) strolls into work 5 min. late on most days, then instead of rushing to her first appointment or surgery, takes 20 additional min. to unload her dogs from the van.  It’s maddening!  The other vet doesn’t bother to take her dog potty in the morning, because when it inevitably craps in its run at work, she knows she can con an employee into cleaning it up for her.  I WILL not clean up an employee’s pet’s poo during work.  A degree of veterinary medicine is not a sinecure–it is understood that you will work hard, long hours from the start of your education.  Vets are not dentists, you know!  Anyway, most people clock in THEN perfunctorily give their pet food (belonging to the clinic), water, and walks.  Then if they disappear, I always know to wander to the back kennels where they are giving their pet plenty of attention instead of working.  I guess they tire of the stale work day?

I can honestly say that once I clock in, I NEVER check my voice-mail, text buddies, or check Facebook.  I’m not even in proximity to my phone while at work.  I am purposefully peremptory in this behavior.  I wait to check that and my laptop for my lunch break or AFTER work–when I’m not on the clock and getting paid.  I of course have had pets stay during work days, but get to work early to set them up–off the clock.  I wait until breaks to tend to their needs, and I specifically put notes on their kennel for my co-workers not to mess with them. I don’t even clean/tend to my pet that lives at my work.  I think of it as a form of stealing from an employer.  It is analogous to committing larceny and walking off the job with items.  Once you’re on the clock, you’re getting paid to WORK.

Not to mention that I’m busy WORKING so I wouldn’t have time for any personal endeavors anyway.  I am always kinetic at work–there isn’t time to slow down and mess with a phone or computer.  I don’t really understand the mentality lethargicallyscrewing around at work.  My thinking is:  Get the job done, and fast, so I can screw around at home–in my jammies.  Other people don’t seem to get this connection to working hard/fast = going home sooner.  They find me domineering and controlling–BUT like the consequence of leaving on time.  And certainly there can be monotony at work–some days are slow and lacking flavor.  But that’s when deep cleaning, meticulous detailed endeavors, and large projects should be done.  Jeeze, burnish the exam tables, scrub the walls–DO something.  Or else just go home!  There is never a time for standing idol at a job.  Even on a vapid day.  There is always SOMETHING to occupy your time!

Maybe the most annoying part of it all is that employees don’t get it–the REAL reason for this tirade.  I am not imperturbableabout it, because it affects ME as an employee when a co-worker is on their i-phone at work.   I am so doctrinaire about it because it means not only do I have to complete my own work, but cover theirs too.  Don’t think I’m not going to give them aglower for it, magisterial or not.  And they think being connected 24/7 is a RIGHT, and are surprised when employers take measures to cut down on phone/computer usage at work.  The employees are so entitled about texting and doing stuff with their pet they become intractable about these issues–I’ll just never understand. . .

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Smoking Hot (47 Myspace views)

30 Dec

I really can’t tolerate smoking.  It’s not really the health risks—there are a lot of ways to slowly kill yourself.  That’s your business.  Lord knows I eat too much sugar, exercise too little, and drink more often then I should.  It’s the unhygienic nature of the habit that I hate.

Why do they do it?  The illusory benefit is it is the cool thing to do.  This ostensible attribute of smoking is false, false, false!  There is nothing cool about having to stand outside alone in the cold to feed an addiction.  It yellows the fingers and makes them smell (don’t touch my food!), it makes not only your hair and clothes smell, but mine too, and kissing—forget it!  Sophistic reasons for smoking is that is spuriously helps keep weight off.  Maybe, but the trade off is looking like a piece of jerky.  Long term, it cause horrible wrinkles, especially on the face and around the mouth.  It makes teeth yicky.  It changes the voice into a robotic man growl—not sexy.  Coughing and struggling for breath is also not particularly attractive.  And forget about physical exertion—smoking hinders athletic ability.

Smoking makes a home smell gnarly.  It stains the furniture and the walls.  Casinos and bars are so filled with tobacco; you can see it in the air.  It brings fits of asthma to children, and makes my eyes water.  I’m GLAD there is a movement to ban public smoking.  If you want to be filthy and disgusting, it’s gross, but I shouldn’t have to stink too!  The popular adage, “Like having a non-peeing section in a pool,” holds true.  If you smoke, it affects me. Smokers yell they have rights—well, what about mine?  It’s not like I can STOP the air when you light up—super-annoying!

What’s even more irritating is the specious celebrities who smoke.  I get it, in the past, everyone smoked. They didn’t know any better, cigarettes were spuriously un-harmful back then.  Now we do know that smoking was only fallaciously innocuous.  We know smoking causes all kinds of cancer and other health ailments.  Celebrities are in the public eye.  They serve as role-models—admittedly they are not always the best examples.  They should TRY though. . .  I was absolutelyappalled at how many Hollywood stars currently light up.  I have included an incomplete list below.  My source showed pictures of only women smoking, but I don’t think men should smoke either.  I looked up every star I (used to) like, and all of them smoke!  It is NOT ok, and I think there should be a movement in Hollywood to ban smoking.

Christina Aguilera, Jessica Alba, Gillian Anderson, Jennifer Aniston, Christina Applegate

Jessica Biel, Melanie Brown (Scary Spice), Sandra Bullock, Gisele Bundchen

Neve Campbell, Charlotte Church, Cher, Courtney Cox, Cindy Crawford, Jamie Lee Curtis

Claire Danes,  Jonny Depp, Robert De Niro, Camaron Diaz, Kirsten Dunst, Shelly Duvall

Carmen Electra, Jenna Elfman

Mia Farrow, Bridget Fonda, Jodie Foster, Daisy Fuentes, Nelly Furtado

Lady Gaga, Janeane Garofalo, Sarah Michelle Geller, Mel Gibson, Whoopi Goldberg

Darryl Hannah, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Katherine Heigl, Katie Holmes, Kate Hudson

Janis Ian, Amy Irving

Janet Jackson, Jewel, Scarlett Johansson, Angelina Jolie, Ashley Judd (chews)

Nicole Kidman, Heidi Klum, Kiera Knightly, Anna Kournikova, Lisa Kudrow, Ashton Kutcher

K.d. Lang, Ali Larter, Avril Lavigne, Heather Locklear, Eva Longoria, Jennifer Lopez

Madonna, Alyssa Milano, Demi Moore, Alanis Morisette, Kate Moss, Brittany Murphy

Barack Obama, The Olsen Twins

Hayden Panettiere, Amanda Peet, Katy Perry, Pink, Brad Pitt, Amy Poehler, Natalie Portman

Christina Ricci, Denise Richards, Winona Rider, Molly Ringwald, Julia Roberts, Meg Ryan

Claudia Schaeffer, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Shakira, Brooke Shields, Alicia Silverstone, Amy Smart, Mira Sorvino, Gwen Stefani, Sharon Stone, Patrick Swayze

Elizabeth Taylor, Charlize Theron, Uma Thurman, Jennifer Tilly

Vanessa Williams, Kate Winslet, Tiger Woods

Sean Young

Rene Zellweger, Catherine Zeta-Jones

Stars like Tyra Banks, Justin Timberlake, and Usher should be commended for setting a good example, and staying tabacco-free!

Peeping Thong [posted 3-1-09]

17 Jan

You know how Earl has a karma list?  I think I’m going to compile a pet-peeve list featuring my aphorisms.  Sometimes I would just like to curse at people to infuse some sense into them.  Irritation #268:  Scrubs are supposed to be loose as a rule!  Your ass has poked my eye out and it makes me want to shower you with imprecations.

It is the same old story–my apothegm:  People buy their clothes too small.  I am not sure which enervates me more, looking at it, or ranting about it.  It is not optimal to buy the smallest size you can slither into, I cannot share this axiom enough.  No one knows what size you are wearing, and God knows they make scrubs in huge sizes!  You are supposed to be able to move in scrubs.  Boys, this maxim is for you too–maybe even more so than for the ladies.  I don’t wanna see that, as my postulate alludes to.

I would venture to postulate you are not clubbin’ or at the beach—buy scrubs that fit you properly!!!  I do not know why this is such a common thing, but it saps my energy to see it and almost debilitates me to have to bring it up again and again.  The self-evident truth is that scrubs are not meant to hug your curves, and I certainly should never see your thong in them!  Let’s not even talk about crack *shudder*  This premise holds true especially if you are a doctor [that’s who this post is about, P.S.]!  It is in these instances I am most put-out and enfeebled–these types got into veterinary school over me!  When I see idiots that made it in my dream career over me, I have so much anathema towards them.  Be a professional—not a damn slut.

And if you are so pathetic that you feel good when some dirty old man oogles you, you need to get a damn life.  You bring malediction to all women with an attitude (and low self-esteem) such as that.  A dude would look at a toothless crack-whore if she was showing her ass. . .  If I can tell you what color thong you’ve worn for the last week, your scrubs are too tight.  C’mon people, is it THAT hard?!

 

Nix the Red & Pink. . . And Save Some Green [Anti-Valentine’s #3]

10 Feb

You’ve heard all of my arguments against Valentine’s Day.  I write the blog year after year, trying to convince my readers not to celebrate such a foolish day. . .  I’m still surprised so much of the world embraces this day without hesitance.  I find the entire thing appalling, but my denunciations on Hallmark’s holiday, Febreuary 14th have created much controversy.  It isn’t my opinions that should be refuted, it’s a world that defends such a superficial guise and calls it a holiday celebrating love.  Polemic or not, go back and read the yearly blog—the points are still valid.

Maybe you STILL love the day.  You have celebrated it (because society told you to) for this many years and it is your usual routine now.  You don’t care that’s it’s cliché’, trite, and shallow, you will celebrate anyway.  Let me try a different angle.  [Listen up Seattle] Valentine’s Day and other stupid holidays are bad for the environment!  Here are some creative ideas to limit your environmental impact, not to mention get off of MY nerves.

You just finished slaughtering pine trees only to throw them away in the post-Christmas cleaning frenzy—do you really need to kill flowers too?!  If we will trees and plants for every holiday we will thin our resources to the point of our own extinction.  Anyway, who needs all those overpriced roses?  Yeah, you killed a plant to celebrate canvas twirlie treeyour love—not the coolest. Instead why don’t you GIVE a tree to your lover?  If you don’t like that idea, you could PLANT a rose instead of giving a bouquet.  That plant would be far less commonplace in your yard and have less superficial overtones than a store-bought, spray-painted bouquet that you paid double for, only to die (the rose, but maybe a little piece of you too?) during the month.  Growing something is something you can both enjoy for years to come, and it benefits the environment.  Face it, loving your spouse has very little to do with making crops sparser, right?!  You could also put money towards the dwindling rain-forest, plant something in a local park, or buy carbon emissions, though that’s kind of a cheater’s way of offsetting our pollution.

Chocolate, cards, candy, and other little trinkets are (let’s face it) lame and cost a fortune.  THIS is also the reason why Valentine’s Day is advertised and promoted so much.  Do you even keep these “treasures?”  They also tend to come in plastic packaging that ends up in landfills and take eternity to break down.  I suggest forgoing all of this Lana Markscrap—and plant a little herb or organic vegetable garden together.  That’s more original, allows you two to spend quality time, and saves money in the long run.  You may also yield some stellar eatings that last way beyond February.  Cook a romantic meal from your garden, gasp, in April when we don’t have a “love holiday,” and all the expectations that go with it.  To take it even further, take a quiet and romantic walk with your beau.  Pick up trash along your path—you will feel much better than you would just by giving meaningless presents and dropping a fortune on an expensive dinner.  Or at least make artwork or a scrapbook out of the friggin’ candy packaging and eat your damn leftovers from your hackneyed candle-lit dinner, sigh. . .

The worst of all?  Stuffed animals and balloons!  It’s horrible when you have to parade around with your stuff, Maizy paintingtrying to make everyone jealous and rub this horrible day in everyone’s faces.  If your balloon flies off (maybe at the hands of an envious, single lady?) or after you’ve thrown it away, it is detrimental to the Earth.  It can kill birds and whatever else.  Already V-Day kills plants, must we attenuate the animal kingdom in the name of love as well???  Awful! Instead of being obnoxious, why don’t you and your sweetie volunteer at a soup kitchen, senior citizen’s home, or a hospital. Besides being able to show your love to some REAL sad-sacks, you may even come to realize that Valentine’s Day is pretty superficial when you see some real NEED in the world.

All my ideas will really DO something for the Earth.  An unintentional side-effect is the savings.  These ideas are imaginative ways of spending time with your love, showing them you care, and on the cheap!  You can have a less quotidian Valentine’s Day in favor of something more original and meaningful and shows longevity and confidence in your relationship—which is what we’re really celebrating on the 14th isn’t it?  Besides, all of MY ideas limit the loathsome, superficial, petty, excessive things about Valentines day.  We ALL win!….

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