Tag Archives: secrets

Question… Closeting Leads to Fall Out [Part 4]

26 Nov

Taylor wins the pronoun game.  I’m not even going to try to untangle the speaker/recipient/changing characters in this song.  It was written so convoluted that I haven’t even seen a satisfactory answer to this yet.  Instead, I took lyric snippets from other songs featuring the same word, to get a feeling about Taylor’s sentiment and possibly ascertain the subject. Don’t get overwhelmed with the length of this post.  The word I’m trying to point-out from Question… lyrics is highlighted. 

But one thing after another f—ing situation

Circumstances, miscommunications

Miscommunication:

The story of us

Miscommunication is negative in both Taylor’s songs that feature the word.  She loses mutuality in these relationships, there’s misunderstandings causing real and imagined slights.  It causes tumult for the couple.  Even though there is still love, things break down. There is also a LOT of this during the Kaylor relationship, as told by The Great War, and other songs.

And I have to say, by the way

I just may like some explanations

Can I ask you a question?

Question:

Marjory

coney island

Marjory has a tricky bridge with a double-subject.  Yes, throughout the song Taylor is talking about her beloved Grandmother [this song means a lot to me because of that].  But this part that I highlighted not only is talking about actual swimming with Grandma, it also speaks to someone tall (Karlie) pushing Taylor to let go of control and swim in this new water (public-WLW).  Taylor hates and fears it (the actual deep water her Grandmother urges her to swim to, where she can’t touch the ground, and the metaphorical unknown, “falling feels like flying til the bone crush” depth where she has no control. She complains because Taylor has always micromanaged her brand and image.

Further, Taylor indicates the I gave you everything, what more could I have given sentiment alluded to in many other songs.  She says she should have had an open, honest discussion with Karlie, instead of playing games (Cornelia Street), giving the silent treatment (Afterglow), and losing communication.  Taylor should have kept the receipts, because now with the husband and child and connection to Trump, Karlie is completely dead to her (gross metaphor, but apt in the song about Taylor’s deceased Grandma). 

And in Coney Island Taylor is regretful about this.  She says when the sun sets (Karlie leaves) it gets cold and depressing.  In that song, too she is asking questions to Karlie after she already left for a heterosexual life.  Karlie didn’t like being private only, or being on the backburner to Taylor’s career, but put up with it politely for a long time.  Until she couldn’t take it anymore and finally gave up, “putting the sea between you and me.”

Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room?

Crowded:

Dress

The story of us

Taylor is saying she’s like a duck in these two songs: Calm, palatable, relatable, suitable for the crowd/public, but there is a lot of anxiety, stress, and secrets going on underneath the surface. Taylor has a WLW lover (disguised as best friend) right there in the limelight with her. Secret moments in a crowd/public convey the closeted aspect of her WLW relationships.  The are in plain sight, but protected in a magical cloak of friendship thanks to heteronormativity.  And Story of Us has the same feel.  Taylor is standing in public with a happy face but her lover, soon to be ex is estranged due to the misunderstandings caused by closeting breaking them down.  Question’s kiss in a crowded room talks about the Betty-type aspect of going public with this secret love, and the consequences, both positive and negative of that. Despite troubles caused by the veneer of perfect, all-American good girl, best friend to fans brand-image, these secret, female loves stay with Taylor forever, like a tattoo. She needs to have them in her life, but must chose between them and closeting for fame/legacy.

Kelsea Ballerini Promises Not to Out Someone (Taylor Swift?) Because it Would Out Her Too

25 Sep

Disclaimer:

OK this is going to be all about Taylor because I’m trying to convey the connections I noticed. And maybe some of it is a “reach” (can we retire that word?!) as the more mean-girl Gaylors and the homophobes accuse of anything that’s outside the well-established narrative.  I heard many things, that alone, didn’t mean much, but compiled all together made me think, hmmmmm.  So this is me looking at Kelsea’s work through a frame of trying to find proof she is into women and also that her and Taylor had a fling/are together/are WLW besties–something is there!  But please know that I like Kelsea Ballerini as an artist, on her own terms.  

IF YOU GO DOWN (I’M GOIN’ DOWN TOO)

I’ve known you since Brad and Angelina

Brad and Angelina got together on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, in 2005.  They collected children, and then got engaged in April of 2012.  The wedding took place in August 2014.  Angelina filed for divorce August 2016.  So that puts the timeline anywhere between 2005 and 2016, with the actual marriage between 2014-2016.  Kelsie and Taylor met in 2015.

Taylor’s Tweet:

Taylor invites Kelsea to her friend, Abigail’s birthday party:

…If I got an aisle with a mess I gotta clean up

A double entendre–clean up a mess on aisle 7, and also walking down an aisle to marry, cleaning up that mistake with divorce.

Kelsie learning about herself and realizing she had been forced into a straight marriage?  She had to use a lot of introspection and therapy to realize she was in a comp-het situation, and un-learn her heteronormative training.  And when she was finished with that she realized the man had to go.

I know you’ll be showin’ up with bleach, hmm

This reminds me of Taylor’s song, No Body No Crime:

Taylor was going to clean up a mess of a different marriage that ended in that song.

This line could also be a reference to hair bleach.

The Met Gala of Getaway Car fame.

Depending on the narrative you believe, this is the night Taylor left Calvin Harris for Tom Hiddleston.  It has also been said Taylor met Joe Alwyn at the 2016 Met Gala.  If you’re a Kaylor, you know it’s the night Taylor ditched 2 beards (Calvin and Tom), arranged a long term beard (Joe), and ran away from Jo$h Ku$hner (Karlie’s long term BF/beard) with Karlie.  A lot was happening that night!  Been in each of those scenarios Taylor, with her bleachella hair, was leaving a relationship.  And Kelsea is talking about leaving her marriage.

All those names that we don’t ever speak of

Kelsie and Taylor both have had their share of feuds and exes:

Got a couple nights that have slipped my mind/Proof and photographs have been deleted

I found this headline by Googling their names:

https://country925.iheart.com/alternate/amp/2018-05-09-kelsea-ballerini-and-taylor-swift-in-towels/

I included the link so you can see I didn’t do any fancy cutting and pasting–the image that used to be on that provocatively headline was removed… Just like Kelsea said in the song…

If you ever needed an alibi/’Cause dirt on you is dirt on me/And we both know our hands ain’t clean/If it all blows up and we end up on the news

Here’s another headline with a deleted picture that I came across:

Taylor’s song, Delicate is about the nervousness of getting closer to someone when you’re first seeing each other.  There’s an added layer of precariousness in the song because this date is between two gals.  There’s an anxiety about going for this relationship, but also a lot of sexual chemistry.  It’s pretty steamy, really:

Kelsie doing a cover of that particular song is very loud to me.

If you go down, I’m going down too/It’s a good thing we’re each other’s kinda crazy/Ain’t no judgment or keepin’ score

Kelsie might be referencing Taylor’s song, hoax, where Taylor references her painful breakup with Karlie:

In, False God Taylor told us she’s New York City:

And Karlie Kloss was the West Village:

So part of me back in New York is saying Taylor had her heart in NY, but had to leave because she can’t bear to be reminded of Karlie everywhere she goes.  The keeping score bitter line in Taylor’s heartbreak song is what Kelsea brings up in this song–she won’t do that to Taylor like Karlie did.

If you rob a bank, I’m your getaway Mercedes

God knows that’s what friends are for/’Cause dirt on you is dirt on me/And we both know our hands ain’t clean/If it all blows up and we end up on the news/If you go down, I’m going down too/If you go down, I’m going down too, yeah/I keep all your secrets by the dozen

These lines have to be about closeting and outing.  If these two had a fling or shared their secrets that gives each one of them ammunition and leverage over the other.  One cannot out the other without outing themselves. 

I think rather than a threat, this is meant to calm Taylor.  She does not want to be outed and is always fearful that she will get recognized by everyone as WLW before she’s ready, so Kelsea is saying, don’t worry, I can’t out you because I would be outing myself.  And since they’re both singers they both understand what they would be losing by being outed. It’s a sort of consolation that the gayness of it all will remain secret.

You know where my skeletons sleep

Kelsie may be talking about Taylor’s song, Cowboy Like Me here:

In the song Taylor is saying she does stuff purely for money.  Bandits, tricks up my sleeve, takes one to know one all indicate she has met someone just like her–pretending to like rich people or date men so rich people approve in order to get the money/fame.

Forever is the sweetest con is a line that I think speaks to lavender marriage.

Hypothetically, if you ever kill your husband

Kelsie is using this as an exaggeration of something terrible that she would still keep a secret.  It does double-duty here being a call-back to Taylor’s No Body No Crime:

And also could be speaking about “killing” the bearding contract.  Killing the idea of being married to a man.  Killing the charade.  And if Taylor decides to ditch Joe and other beards, Kelsea says she will still never tell that Taylor is WLW or that they had/have? a thing.

Hand on the Bible, I’d be lyin’ through my teeth/’Cause dirt on you is dirt on me/And we both know our hands ain’t clean/If it all blows up and we end up on the news/If you go down, I’m going down too/Our bodies are buried and they’re in the same ditch/So even if I wanted to, I can’t snitch/30 to life would go quicker with you, yeah/So, if you go down, I’m going down too/If you go down, I’m going down too/If you go down, I’m going down too

This song to me, is an acknowledgement that Kelsea knows a secret about Taylor, and has that same secret.  I don’t know if they were just honest with each other, or had a fling, or are dating, but this song is LOUDLY about closeting and being outed.