I might do a part 2, as I found another very interesting source. Will alll the new songs coming out (heh) we’ll see what I do.
Bigger than the Whole Sky
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye/You were bigger than the whole sky/You were more than just a short time/And I’ve got a lot to pine about/I’ve got a lot to live without/I’m never gonna meet/What could’ve been, would’ve been/What should’ve been you/What could’ve been, would’ve been you…/…Every single thing to come has turned into ashes/’Cause it’s all over, it’s not meant to be/So I’ll say words I don’t believe
Grieving giving up her opportunity to come out, missing the (queer) person she might have been.
***Trigger Warning***
conversion therapy
Though this is very bleak, we’re going to end on a lighter, more hopeful note:
We were supposed to be just friends…/…Depending on what kind of mood and situation-ship I’m in/And what’s in my system/I think there’s been a glitch, oh, yeah…/…And I’m not even sorry/Nights are so starry, blood moonlit/It must be counterfeit…/…A brief interruption, a slight malfunction/I’d go back to wanting dudes who give nothing/I thought we had no chance/And that’s romance, let’s dance
My knuckles were bruised like violets/Sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep-talked/Spineless in my tomb of silence/Tore your banners down, took the battle underground/And maybe it was ego swinging/Maybe it was her/Flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur/All that bloodshed, crimson clover…/…You drew up some good faith treaties/I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone/You said I have to trust more freely/But diesel is desire, you were playin’ with fire/And maybe it’s the past that’s talkin’/Screamin’ from the crypt/Tellin’ me to punish you for things you never did/So I justified it/All that bloodshed, crimson clover/Uh-huh, the bombs were close and/My hand was the one you reached for/All throughout the Great War/Always remember/Uh-huh, the burning embers/I vowed not to fight anymore/If we survived the Great War/It turned into something bigger/Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I’d been betrayed/Your finger on my hair pin triggers/Soldier down on that icy ground/Looked up at me with honor and truth/Broken and blue, so I called off the troops/That was the night I nearly lost you/I really thought I lost you/We can plant a memory garden/Say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair/There’s no morning glory, it was war, it wasn’t fair/And we will never go back/To that bloodshed, crimson clover/Uh-huh, the worst was over…/…Always remember/Uh-huh, we’re burned for better/I vowed I would always be yours/’Cause we survived the Great War
Big city, wrong choices/We had one thing going on/I swear that it was something/’Cause I don’t remember who I was before you/Painted all my nights/A color I’ve searched for since/But one thing after another/Lost in situations, circumstances/Miscommunications…/…Did you leave her house in the middle of the night?/Did you wish you’d put up more of a fight?/When she said it was too much?/Do you wish you could still touch …her?/Half-moon eyes, bad surprise/Did you realize, out of time/She was on your mind/With some dickhead guy/That you saw that night/But you were on something/It was one drink after another/Caught in politics and gender-roles/And you’re not sure and I don’t know/Got swept away in the gray/I just may like to have a conversation…/…Does it feel like everything’s just like second-best after that/Meteor strike?/And what’s that, that I heard, that you’re still with her/That’s nice, I’m sure that’s what’s suitable/And right
PS- don’t do drugs, they fuck you up and ruin lives
Snow on the Beach
…Life is emotionally abusive…/…I’m unglued, thanks to you/And it’s like snow at the beach/Weird but fuckin’ beautiful/Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful/You wanting me tonight feels impossible/But it’s comin’ down, no sound, it’s all around/Like snow on the beach…/…My smile is like I won a contest/And to hide that would be so dishonest/And it’s fine to fake it ’til you make it/’Til you do, ’til it’s true…/…I (I) can’t (can’t) speak afraid to jinx it/I (I) don’t (don’t) even dare to wish it/But your eyes are flying saucers from another planet…/…Can this be a real thing? Can it?/…Are we falling like snow at the beach? (Snow at the beach)/Weird but fuckin’ beautiful/Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful (flying in a dream)/You wanting me tonight feels impossible (you wanting me)/But it’s comin’ down, no sound, it’s all around/Like snow on the beach (snow on the beach)/Like snow on the beach (flying in a dream)/Like snow on the beach (you wanting me)/Like snow, oh/But it’s comin’ down, no sound, it’s all around/Like snow on the beach (it’s comin’ down, it’s comin’ down)
***Trigger Warning***
Drugs
This is not pro-drug, just historic and informational snips pertinent to the song references.
–Continue reading if interested in drug characteristics–
Potential drugs referenced in the song:
[also, please visit the link, as it as alternate names, formats of the drug, side effects, long term effects, and current laws. It’s really chock-full of useful information and has an index to easily look up drugs of interest.]
I promise the direction I’m going with this will make sense when you see the actual post. I’m setting up your foundational knowledge with this one.
Back, back, back in 2005, sitting in some Animal Science course (dairy cattle? Genetics?) I remember having an epiphany that this farm animal development and behavior we were learning about could be extrapolated to human sexuality. I mean, duh, obviously mammals have much the same processes, everybody knows that. But I hadn’t heard about a CAUSE of homosexuality. As far as I was aware, nobody could find a gene, environmental factor, or consistent theory of how it came to be. All I knew, is that it isn’t a choice, and queerness was an innate, unchangeable trait.
This particular research paper was written in 1989. So it wasn’t a new concept. I couldn’t understand why nobody had put the pieces together and declared the CAUSE of human homosexuality…
OK, so it’s not nailed down to a single cause. It’s complicated. But here is research that finds maternal hormones do play a part in gender expression children and sexuality of adults:
…’Cause karma is my boyfriend…/…Sweet like honey, karma is a cat/Purring in my lap ’cause it loves me/Flexing like a goddamn acrobat/Me and karma vibe like that…/…Sweet like justice, karma is a queen
It cut deep to know ya/Right to the bone…/…I’m fine with my spite/And my tears/And my beers and my candles…/….I know I’m just a/Wrinkle in your new life/Staying friends/Would iron it out so nice/Guilty, guilty reaching out across the sea/That you put between you and me/But it’s fake/And it’s oh so unnecessary
Ummm…. Unintentional find that’s pretty on the nose:
Long limbs and frozen swims/You’d always go past where our feet could touch
And I complained the whole way there/The car ride back and up the stairs
I should’ve asked you questions/I should’ve asked you how to be/Asked you to write it down for me/Should’ve kept every grocery store receipt
‘Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me
So now, back to the subtext of Taylor Swift’s Marjorie:
it relates to how Taylor could be afraid to come out of the closet. Or she’s fearful of taking Kaylor to the next level by having a child with Karlie.
Taylor could be wanting proof of a lot of things, here.
I wonder if she feels like Karlie is erasing their relationship and Taylor feels gaslighted. Taylor wants to prove that Kaylor was real and mutual since Karlie is insinuating it’s always just been Jo$h. Kaylor was secret so it’s easily treated as if it never happened at all.
And finally, Taylor mentions scraps. And there is a direct link between scraps, the fashion industry, to Karlie.
Sorry for not making you my centerfold/Over and over/Lost again with no surprises/Disappointments close your eyes/And it gets colder and colder/When the sun goes down/The question pounds my head/What’s a lifetime of achievement/If I pushed you to the edge/But you were too polite to leave me?/Do you miss the rogue/Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?/Will you forgive my soul/When you’re too wise to trust me and too old to care?/…Sorry for not winning you an arcade ring/Over and over…/…Did I leave you hanging every single day?/…Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray?/A universe away…/…But when I walked up to the podium/I think that I forgot to say your name
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Catty Remarks