Work: Where Do I Have Time to Give? (typical exchange)

Here’s such a typical employer/employee conversation.  Never caring about YOUR time (school doesn’t either).  No understanding of anxiety, what-so-ever.  People have put me off like this my whole life, not understanding or giving a fu(k about rumination.  “Don’t worry about it” means they’re going to put me on the worst shifts and they don’t want me to push back or complain about that.  They did, in fact, have me on for too many hours, and for Fridays which I specifically said I didn’t want.  Exactly what I had been worried about.  And I had to resign.  So then they were short TWO people. . .

Dr: Not sure.  Likely Lots though. And it will include Thursdays and Fridays likely. Short time. Not permanent. Likely have to put you on a regular schedule and have everyone clean rather than you coming in at 5:30 AM.

Me: I cant do all day Friday. I would rather meet 1:1 to discuss a compromised sched. Its tricky with my classes. yeah the cleaning and early will have to go I think. I can trade sat for tues. Wnd wed am for thurs

Dr. Ok We can talk and have a better idea

Me: My thoughts in the pic 9attached) b/c now I’m going to worry and stress till we talk

Dr:  Can’t read that at all. everyone here is stressed to so just give me times that You CANNOT WORK. Then times that you want to work and we will see.  If between you, M, and K we can fill in all the times. Then we will have to schedule light when we cant fill the time in.

Me: I cant work all day Friday I have class mw nevermind I think you’ll have to see it in writing to understand my class commitments. Not all day fri tho.

Dr. Please try and relax. I have a lot of planning to do and shuffling of people. I realize you have school and that is a have to, not a want to what I am asking for is times you have off and then we will try to give you times you want to have off if we can fit in it

Me: You cant meet? Ok class mw 9:30-11:15, t/r 11:30-1:30 3 bus hrs fri for independent study. I can give you 35% more than I already am without hurting my hard-fought 4.0 gpa

Dr: Oy vey. I will try to get this figured out by next week.

Me: I stayed up all night and worked it out and fair % of increased hr to cover rj time and it might save you a lot of time if you looked at my draft sched. Did you see the rest of my qs? can I post on cl?

Dr: If I had known you’re going to be so worried I probably wouldn’t of (SIC) brought this up to you so soon.

No about cl

No about many and no about vici mae

We wont give you any more than 35 hrs

That will be a  must and not a want?

So it is short term so get some sleep little energizer bunny

Me: I worked out the numbers: I have 12 wk left in the semester in that time exams, 13 labs and assignments, 15 observations and those papers and 36 hr ind study. Hipaa reg transcriptions.

Dr: Ok we will ask no more of you

Me: What’s that mean?

D; stop. it means you’re stressing over something that you don’t have to stress about. We will work it out.

Me: I thought you were firing me over text 😦 I just worry bc this is the type of scene that hurt my undergrad grp and got me in this position. I cant start over is all. thank you for at least talking to me

Dr: Okay that kind of made me laugh. there is no way I would fire you over a text.

That is like breaking up with someone over text. Who does that kind of shit?

Me: Well, shit-heads. I never know what to expect out of ppl tho.

Dr:  Are you calling me a potential shithead?  Ok get back to your day and we will work it all out.

me: Like my dad says can’t trust nobody but yourself. But he’s paranoid and thinks he’s funny

-There are 12 weeks left in the semester:

**6 exams

**13 audiometry labs and associated assignments left to turn in

**an intervention packet

**36 hr of language transcription

**2 physical clinic observations and associated assignments

**8 MCT observations (30-60 min each)

**5 observation sheets due

**11 textbook chapters to read (this is no longer a feasible endeavor)

Day:

I wake up at 4AM and sleep at 7:30PM

**Treadmill takes the first half hr of each day, 7 days a week

**I have 1.5-2 hours of physical class 4 days a week

**takes 1 hour 4 days a week to make study materials

Week:

**must do 3 hours of transcription/wk *13

**probably 3 total hours to complete the lab & assignment/wk

How to Alleviate Sleepiness (better) [Lessons from 2021]

-water alleviates tiredness more than caffeine

-a walk helps get rid of sleepiness

Sounds like something some health-nut would tell you.  Believe me, despite all the things I’ve listed here that may seem extreme–I am not really healthy, and it’s NOT my focus. It’s just that little repeated efforts really do add up.

I live in a desert so water is crucial. The air is dry, and it gets pretty hot. Plus any exercise, sweating, sugar, salt, caffeine further depletes hydration. So I always try to drink water throughout the day. And it is true-being hydrated feels like having more energy.  Caffeine just made me jittery or more irritable.  Water, I’m talking a LOT of extra water, does help.  But like, a lot.  Like 30 cups by lunch.  And you actually legitimately feel better. 

I suggest working up to it. And I’m telling you getting 4 cups a day is the biggest hurdle when you haven’t really been mindful. Because drinking extra will make you pee extra. And you just don’t feel thirsty. I know. But if you can just make a habit of getting 4 cups of water in the earliest possible in the day–any above and beyond that are really not a big deal. I don’t know why. I don’t make the rules.

Also, aside from water, taking vitamin B helps energy. That’s why they put so much of it in energy drinks. And vitamin B without all the caffeine won’t dehydrate you, which actually makes you feel more tired (think hangovers). So vit B in the morning, and at that afternoon slump. Best part about that, it’s not going to keep you up all night like a late coffee/tea might.

Another thing that helped us feel less tired is another counterintuitive thing. Walking on lunch and after work.  It was way more helpful than sitting, which actually made us feel more tired.  So get that heart rate up next time you’re sleepy and wishing for a nap during the work day!

And you know what I found out makes me most tired of all?  Living in an extrovert’s world.  I used to be exhausted on most work days when we had to go to the building (vs. working from home).  Just the anxiety of second-guessing every facial expression, how fast I was walking, each interaction was tiring.  Now that I’m at home working after work I just feel normal.  I don’t get tired for several more hours.

I’m still working on energy though. I’m often very tired and dragging a$$, so any other tips would be helpful.

Sounds

Lately I can’t sleep.  Again.  Between residual caffeine and my brain waking up with Cool in the early morning, I find myself tossing a lot.  I can also hear our next door neighbors coughing at night.  And they cough a lot.  Because they’re heavy smokers and they probably have COPD.  And there’s a retch on the end of the cough, which is gross.  So the coughing wakes me periodically-or precludes sleep all-together.  I was restless Thursday night for all those reasons–and the fact work sucks right now (I won’t go into that–it’s a whole other long story).

And while I was trying to go to sleep, I could hear the rustling of a creature up behind my head.  On the floor to my upper left.  Normally I would assume it was one of the cats messing around.  But I knew it wasn’t on Thursday, because I’d shut them out of the room.  Side-note:  I love nothing more then a cat sleeping on the bed with me.  It’s one of life’s greatest joys.  But Goose won’t let Choco-Luv on the bed anymore.  It’s some sort of deal only they know about that they worked out.  And no amount of coaxing will make her ignore their rules.  And Goose will nap real good during the day.  But at night he wants to play “under the covers.”  Or he meow-meow-meows for food.  Or scratches on the closed curtains trying to get on the sill to look out his window.  Generally he’s a nuisance.  And since I already haven’t been sleeping well, they’ve been getting shut out.  So I knew it wasn’t a cat.  But I also knew it was something alive.  It was rustling in the way only a live creature can.

Obviously I’m freaking out.  What could it be?!  Mice/rats?  That’s the only thing that I could think of.  And that’s super-creepy for many reasons.  1]  There was a small or possibly nest of small creatures in the house–in our room no less.  2]  The sound was coming from under my clothes rack near a corner.  So possibly said-rodents were nesting in my clothes/shoes-eww.  3]  Cool was out of state at her Mom’s funeral, so I would have to deal with the problem by myself in the middle of the night.  4]  But the biggest worry of all is that our bed is a futon mattress–that is directly on the floor.  The creatures–whatever they were–might run over me in my sleep/wake (terrible in either scenario).  Or I’d find them IN the bed at some point.  Needless to say, no sleep was going to be had–I was majorly squigged out.

Don’t get me wrong–I’m an animal-lover.  But not wild, pesty animals, in my house–outside of a cage.  Pet-store animals are different.  They’re bred to be pets, handled, sweet.  You pick them and prepare the place you want them to be.  They are invited guests.  Wild animals, are intruders.  They walk around as they will.  They make a mess in your stuff.  And aren’t things in groups so much more creepy/gross?!  I mouse in the wild isn’t a thing.  Wild pesty mice breed.  They have creepy little nests and make colonies and their numbers quickly get out of control.  Then they’re in you bed and in your kitchen.  These are the things I was thinking of as I laid in my bed on the floor. . .

Then, I’m not sure how I came upon the realization, but I knew the sounds were my neighbor.  I could hear them rolling over in their sleep!  The sound was not on the floor of our room at all-it was through the wall.  I could hear my neighbors turn over in their bed.  Which is not as creepy as mice/rats nesting near my head–but still very creepy.  I was esentially sleeping in the same bed as my smoker-neighbors.  And if I could hear them cough and ROLL OVER in their sleep, that meant they could hear every sound I/we made too.  Very sketchy.  And I’m sure they HATED the week Cool and I tried to move our treadmill/circuits for when I got home from work.  At 1:30AM.  The treadmill is in our bedroom, and we tried that for a week-oops.

After the realization that I can hear every move my neighbors made (and vice cersa), I really couldn’t sleep.  And I didn’t really want to.  Last night when I got home from work at 1:36 AM, I wasn’t tired anymore.  I was mad–at work.  I thought I might wind down by watching a show.  But after one episode of “Private Practice” I still wasn’t tired.  I knew I would just toss and turn if I tried, so I just didn’t.  I didn’t want another horrible night of not being comfortable, counting hours I needed to get good rest, and hearing every noise in the world.  I decided to watch until I did feel tired.  Which wasn’t until 4:44AM.  And naturally, as it does every day my brain suddenly and irreversibly, work up and I popped up at 9:50AM.  My body doesn’t care what time I go to bed–I wake up and can’t go back to sleep in the mornings.

I bought a white noise machine from Amazon and luckily, it happened to arrive today.  I put it behind my head, between me and the neighbors, so hopefully it will drown out any noises from them and give me privacy.  Also, I didn’t have any caffeine today.  I really hope I’ll be able to sleep!

 

When It Rains, It Pours: April [house–sHit]

When I was cleaning the OLD apartment, I was dreaming so much of the relaxation of house-sitting for waelthy people.  This was going to be just the vacation I needed after a crazy month of stress and packing and stress and driving and stress and unpacking and stress and planning logistics and.  Stress.

This was going to be the restful break, complete with amenities that would rejuvenate me before I had to drive (again) Rusty to Utah.  Ten+ more hours, but by myself.  In a third-hand car with unknown history and not enough maintenance.

Sidenote–I knew I should get Rusty’s oil changed and a tune-up before a big trip.  BUT every single time I took a trip in my Jetta, and went to a mechanic prior to that trip they would deliver some awful news of some sort.  Something was terribly wrong, it costs a lot of money, it would push back my leaving date, and if I did pay an extraordinary amount of money (NOW!) my car would probably die on the way there, leaving me stranded.  Every trip this happened.  And every trip’s dates would be set in stone and strapping me for cash.  So I would never be able to have time or money to fix whatever problem it was.  But I would worry the entire time.  Trips in my Jetta were always full of terror because I was always certain I was just about to break down–without a cell phone.  Or any sort of recourse.  And the problem was especially compounded when I traveled by myself (most of the trips) or worse–with pets.

The point is–NOT knowing was better then panicking the entire time, so I did not take Rusty to see anyone.  This was a gamble.  BUT this time I did have Triple A–just in case.  So I was a little worried.

But the house-sitting was going to be a lovely, easy time.

Except I forgot that the animals don’t allow sleep.  Dr. Fletcher makes anyone in the guest room (A.K.A. Dr. Fletcher’s room) miserable by doing power-muffins, licking, frolicking, opening then slamming the door, scratching with (previously done by another owner) declawed paws on anything, etc. . .  There is no night-sleeping.  The other 2 cats begin to meow and fuss and make a ruckus about 5AM when they usually get their breakfast.  This with the stirring dogs and thought of starving horses mandates crack-of-dawn mornings.  There is no napping, because the dogs run amok during the day, the phone rings all day, the answering machine is long and loud, and packages are frequently delivered.  There is too much going on during the day to sleep.  In the evening the dogs are hyper and need fetching until their legs fall off, and the bulk of the chores must be completed.

In short–I was even MORE tired during and after house-sitting then when I started.  I don’t think I ever slept more then 3-4 consecutive hours.

And then I had to drive from Washington to Utah.  Alone.  And for a second time in 2.5 weeks. . .

When It Rains, It Pours: April [clean-queen]

The packing and moving phase happened so quickly there was no time for simultaneous cleaning of the SpoKompton (referred to from here on out as the “old” apartment) which was a major bummer now.  Because Cool got to be in the NEW apartment and new city, working, while I had to clean all by myself.

It was a much bigger job then I anticipated–and it sucked.  The old apartment still had utilities–thank goodness I had the foresight not to shut them off.  But it was echoing, dusty, and cold inside.  And we had no TV, bed, or anything, really to keep me occupied or comfortable in any way.

Also, there had been a lot of messes made, wear & tear, and damage done over the prior 4 years and 7 months in there:  Cool spilled a bottle of bleach AND a bottle of laundry soap on the carpet the first week we had moved in.  Sloppy had sand-crabbed litter so much that tiny sand was embedded in the carpet, in the seam between the carpet and wall, and dusting the walls.  My daily tread-milling had left black marks on the carpet at each of the 4 points of impact.   There were about 800,000 holes in the walls.

And stuff that wasn’t our fault, such as mold growing from the walls, grease on the kitchen ceiling from no ventalation, and grout deterioration lended to an overall feeling of grossness, and panic.  We certainly were not going to get our deposit back as I initially hoped–but would they charge us for damages??!

And I had Sunday from 10-ish AM to Monday at 6AM before my house-sitting job started.  And the work sucked, I was alone with it, and to tell the truth, I no longer cared so much about the OLD apartment.

But I gave it a good effort.  Oh yeah, I forgot, there were remnants (more then I knew!) that hadn’t been packed on the first go-around.  Like, the fridge and freezer had been untouched.  So I’m cleaning, I’m trying to stuff things in Rusty, and I’m throwing a TON of things away.  So many things.  Perfectly good items, or items I would just have to re-buy in the new state but would keep or didn’t fit.

My friend from work came over (in a skirt?) to help for 5 hours, and I’m glad she did, because I might still be there otherwise.  She spackled for a fill 70 minutes, and there were still holes in the walls. . .

I slept on the dusty, cold floor that night, and was pretty well mentally finished the next day.  But I pressed on for my of my first day into house-sitting.  And I could have spent the whole 10 days cleaning and it still wouldn’t have looked nice.  So I made the choice to be finished Monday then focus on my house-sitting job.  Because the animals were lonely, I was getting paid GOOD money to do it, the apartment wasn’t going to look nice no matter what I did at this point, and it wasn’t fair that 100% of the job fell to me anyway.

But I fretted that we were going to get charged.

Still, the lure of warmth, the animals, a mattress, kitchen, and most of all–a TV–made me finish up.  I turned in our keys and left Riverton Terrace forever.

Next:  House-sitting, the NEXT long drive, and (more) unpacking.

When It Rains, It Pours: April [moving]

I know, I know I made you a promise–then I broke it.  Again.  You see, what’s happening is I want to do the blog-post “right.”  As such, I never feel I have enough time to write something decent.  So today, I’m just going to quickly get things down:

Moving sucks, we all know that.  Here’s what my April was like once it was time to go:

-I packed pretty much every box at the old apartment.

-On moving day, it was up to Cool and me.  But a few items would require more strength, so I asked my Aunt and Uncle for help.

-But they are in their 60’s and both kind of dinks.

-So I knew they would only be marginally helpful, and probably start fatigue, complain, and become an impredimant in a hurry.  So I asked them to help for the first hour.

-They were there to move a bookshelf, 3 shelves, the treadmill, and the 37″ TV-mistake from Craigslist.

-I had no idea where this TV was going to go, and no one wanted it for free let alone purchase, because it wasn’t a flat screen-what is that, anyway?

-But first, Cool and I had to rent the Penske–which I had done a lot of research and measurements to pick out of the moving truck companies.  This was after I worked til midnight the night before (ie I’m starting out tired).

-We get the truck and I drive it back to the apartment.

-Aunt and Uncle help us move the things and the TV goes out on the sidewalk with a “free” sign.

-I need some place to park Rusty while I’m in Utah for a week.  My Uncle volunteers my Aunt (a notoriously bad driver who doesn’t know manual transmission) to drive it to their house.  I agree to park Rusty at their house–but say I’LL drive it over later.  They go home.

-Cool and I take load after load to the truck.  I begin to pack things to the ceiling, but quickly realize the truck is waaaaay bigger then our amount of things.  In order for things not to float around–we must pack them in a single-layer on the floor.  And it’s still too much room.  Oops.

-We load the things.  I’m hot and tired.  Cool has died.  She’s obese because of her meds and not much help.  She moves slower and slower and takes more and more breaks.  It’s up to me.

-But we manage to finish in under 4 hours.  And it’s just 1PM.  And now the apartment is empty.  We have to hang out doing nothing.  With the Penske sitting outside.  Then wake up at 4AM to begin our interstate trek.  Why are we waiting?

-We decide we will get a hotel in Butte and drive halfway today–there’s plenty of time.

-But first I have to take my car to the Aunt and Uncles.  But when we get there they aren’t home.  It’s OK, they told me where to park so I did.  But I didn’t want to leave my keys because of the afore-mentioned casualness about them driving my car.  There would be nobody but me driving my car.  What if they got in a wreck?  No–the keys were going with me.

-But sometimes Rusty’s alarm will randomly get set off.  And it just goes on and on.  And on and on.  Until you use the key fob to disengage it.  And that’s the only way I know of.  So I was very worried the alarm would go off leaving them no recourse.  But MORE worried them would drive Rusty (badly) if they had the keys.  So off we went.

-Cool packed both cats in her car.  And I took the Penske.  Then we got on the road.

Next edition–not so spaced apart (for reals!) the road!

SLC: More Than Mormons [UU Interview Part II]

So remember it’s Thursday and we’ve just arrived at the Greyhound station (after an 18 hour ride) at 6AM.  We are tired, we are carrying luggage.

-Hazel my 2008 GPS has never been updated.  It’s worked out OK.  But this trip, I guess she said enough is enough, and she would only do simulate–no directions at all.  Rendering the GPS useless.  This is most unfortunate and I’m going to have to do something about that before we move.  BUT it looked the city was this way, so I started walking that direction while Cool booted up directions on her phone.  This wasn’t entirely arbitrary–I had previously looked, and looked at Google Maps, scouting where our bus went, location of our hotel, restaurants, and the school, so I felt confident we could ascertain where things were.  The map had showed our hotel within easy walking distance of the Greyhound station.  The phone said to turn 180 and walk in a way that looked abandoned, out-of-town, and sketchy.  Her phone has never been good to me so I was sure it was shenanigans and she was taking us on a wild-goose chase.  It was still dark outside, there was construction, and I had to drag my suitcase–I was very nervous.  I like to know I can run away if someone messes with me.  There would be no running away in this particular scenario.  Also, it was cold.  And the walk seemed long and random, under interstates, and through neighborhoods.  I really hoped the GPS was taking us in the right direction!

-I saw the sign for the hotel and was relieved.  I also had to call my mom for her birthday before she went to school.  She cried and cried since she hadn’t expected me to call.  I think she was very happy I called.

-We had called to confirm our reservation would be held til morning.  I KNEW it would be an issue, and did not want them to give away our room.  Sure enough the guy working the desk seemed very confused and asked if a smoking room was all right.  Had they not saved our room???  After an 18hr sleepless bus ride, you just need to put your stuff down, use a private bathroom, shower and nap.  And not in smoke!  So I was going to be very crabby with them if we had no room til 3PM.  After much struggle a gal finally came up and got us a room.

-I knew if I didn’t run then (right then) it wasn’t going to happen.  And (very) unfortunately they did not have a treadmill.  So I had to run outside in the parking lot.  After a long bus ride and super-long walk carrying luggage, the run wasn’t so bad, actually.  I was already warmed up from stress/pulling luggage a long way and pretty happy to be out of just the one sitting-position.  This run would get worse with each passing day.

-We had to take advantage of the free hotel shuttle to the airport in order to pick up our rental car.  It was a bummer that the shuttle left at 9:30AM, because that only left a half hour for a nap (by the time the check-in, run, and shower were completed) and we were exhausted.  I had slept well for less then 2 minutes on the bus.  I know this because it was less then one song on my ipod.  And only drifted for maybe an hour.  But we dragged ourselves to the lobby to catch the shuttle.  And I was afraid because our driver was on his cell phone while driving us–even though it’s also illegal in Utah.

-We got the car and I drove back to the hotel.  I had been hoping that the religious influence in Utah would make the drivers polite.  It was not to be.  Utah has picked up the bad habits of multiple states:  The Texas last minute lane change, California stops and generally unsafe speediness, Seattle passing on the right, Idaho pushinessaggression, and Spokane tailgating.  The driving was awful!  And I was freaked about the rental car because even one scratch or ding would make my life a nightmare.

-I thought we might want to nap, but mostly we were hungry.  And I wanted to scope out the interview location and time how long it took, so we went straight to the University.  Even though at this point my eyes were hanging out of my head.  The instructions were written by the program director and turned out to be horrible.  Here’s an example.  She said to turn left at building 420 (on the right) then go back to the parking lot, and turn left before going up a hill, then walk up the stairs by the dumpster to the building on the left.  Which translates to:  Take the first right (ignore building 420 entirely, because it is passed our turn and on the opposite side of the street) and park in the 2nd parking lot.  Walk up the stairs to the building behind the one directly in front of you.  So we were lost and confused and making u-turns and driving around parking lots for more then 45 minutes.  By the time we were finished I had no idea how long a direct route might take.  Oh, and it was “snowing” more like a wintery slush, but that did not entice anyone to slow down.  I was happy, however, to see the plows on campus came out almost immediately–and this wasn’t even true snow!

-As you can see from the photo, I’m super-tired.  But for Cheesecake Factory, you make it happen!  I was grumpy, tired, and starving after that debacle so we went to the Cheesecake Factory for meal #1 (of 3).  It was situated in a lovely indoor/outdoor mall that had a stream.  Very nice location!  I got the blazin buffalo appetizer which was so big I could not finish it.  And some coffee drink so I could function.  We’re going on 27(?) hrs of no real sleep here.  The place was pretty busy especially for lunch time.  Our waiter never brought the bread he promised, never offered water, never refilled (or offered to) my coffee, and never asked how our food was.  He did help the people on either side of us, which was off-putting.  It was like he was too busy, so he figured we wouldn’t tip well anyway and just ignored us.  Finally, I had to track him down and ask for water, a coffee refill, and some more dip–it’s annoying to have to do that.  We took cheesecake to go–mine was the upside-down pineapple.  As a self-fulfilling prophecy, I did not tip well for the subpar service.  But I hate that, because I totally would have if the service had been just adequate or better.

-We walked around the lovely, clean mall and really started to like this city.  Which I was surprised about, because I anticipated being able to get used to it and live with it.  The people didn’t have that desperate, dirty air about them, like Spokompton does.  There were kids but they were with their parents not running amok and no one was screaming or cursing at them.  The shops were expensive (Steve Madden, Coach, Solomon, AE), but it was fun to window shop.

-I couldn’t go on at this point.  I would have liked to explore or do something, but I was fatigued and I knew if I pushed it too hard I would get sick:  Bus germs + chilly weather + tired = sick.  So we just went back to our room for some television and cheesecake.

-The TV at the hotel did not have cable.  Which I didn’t anticipate or think was a thing anymore.  I hadn’t thought to even ask about something so obvious.  The 5 stations it did have were very staticy too–so we ended up watching stand-up on Netflix.  Good ‘ol Netflix–how did we ever live without that?  I say watched, but about a half hour in, I felt overwhelmingly tired and couldn’t keep my eyes open or my head from nodding.  We went to bed at 5:30PM (which is 4:30 in our time zone).

Next, it’s interview day!

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A Month Wasted

I finished my last final December 17th. Which meant technically that I was free. And I had have big, big plans to really be productive for this semester off.

-I want to clean/organize/pack everything, donate things, or preferably sell them for a profit.
-go through my school stuff, organize, and consolidate it.
-prepare for an interview by reading news, journals in my field, reviewing lecture materials, and planning what I want to say and how to downplay things I don’t.
-I want to observe an AuD.
-And of course do those pesky little things that always get moved to the bottom of the to-do list, like cook meals, play with my cats, and keep in touch with people better.

And obviously do my taxes, complete the FAFSA, pack, move, secure school funding, and read and outline my 1st semester textbooks before school begins.

Unfortunately, I can’t say I’ve maximized this time out of school so far. I went right to house-sitting after classes got out, into Christmas, into New Years, and now I’ve been working extra to afford my interview trip. Also, because of work and tiredness, and I guess just general disorganization from the work/tiredness things have not been happening like I want. BUT it’s not too late to change things! I just need a plan and I need to break things into small, manageable steps.

First, I’m going to log what I’m currently doing with my time to see where I’m losing it. The days just seem to fly past without my knowledge and without much productivity.

Finding energy will be a big step in DOING things. So even if I have to caffeinate, I think it’ll be worth it.

Then, I need to do small tasks toward the big tasks.

Also, I need to be happy about what I HAVE done:

-cleaned the pet-closet, reorganized my bookmarks, cleaned the coat closet, wrote Christmas thank you cards, followed through with weekly grocery shopping, organized under the bathroom sink, read my “Get into Grad School” book, started reading “The Alchemist” during my breaks at work, consolidated 6 school binders into 3 (I really need 3″-4″ binders), got through my 2014 albums to write the blog, got my scrapbook up to date, and bought my bus/hotel stuff for the potential interview.  So that’s something–but not enough considering I’m out of school and work part-time.

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I Got BronchITis!

Ain’t nobody got time for that.

This is the 2nd time I’ve been sick in the last few months. After having a years-long dry spell from being full-on sick, it is SO not cool.

I blame the Y. My sleep schedule still isn’t what it should be, and combined with all those germs–then cold weather. I have no chance. It’s the trifecta.

I hate being sick though. Somehow, I thought being sick would be nice–you get to sleep a lot, sit around watching TV, catch up on your reading. Maybe clean the house and cook some things you haven’t had time for. . .

What I forgot was–being sick sucks. I can’t sleep either because I’m congested or in this case–coughing uncontrollably. Nothing is less uncomfortable then being prompt to a near-sitting position, on your back–all night. I am comfortable sleeping on my side, but that’s not possible with a runny nose or cough. So I’m mostly awake all night. When I need sleep the most.

And waking up? Awful!!! You are farthest away from being medicated and very unrested so getting out of bed is horrid. I finished a mile–running,no less–this morning, but it just about killed me. I completed it in a slow, slow 17 minutes (my slowest EVER was 13 minutes) with many (7?) intermittent sitting rests. But I got it done, and have now run for 377 days in a row.

But I don’t recommend that. It really wiped me out. Pretty much all I’ve accomplished today is folding my clothes. And that’s with many rest breaks in between–who know sitting on the floor folding could be so strenuous?! And I still haven’t put all the clothes away, because it requires standing up.

It’s frustrating, because I can’t sleep, but you’d think I could study for my interview, or read, or do something productive. But I feel too sick and fevery to do any of that. I’d better feel good tomorrow so I can get ANYthing done.

P.S. Dave Matthews Band announced their summer tour–which is really exciting.

Except it’s also VERY disappointing. We don’t know where we’ll be, or how much money we’ll have by summer. And of course all the Western venues are in the last week of August and later–when my classes potentially start on the 24th. . . They are so close (the Gorge, Tahoe, CO) but yet so far. So we have to look at, and be teased by the dates–and sadly miss out. I hate that.  I am telling you that I’m going to literally be crying crocodile tears when we have to hear all about the tour and miss every show for lack of planning, money, and time.  Sad, sad, sad!

So that’s that. I guess I’ll try to watch a movie without feeling guilty. Because I sincerely feel like a$$.

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Infuriating!

I just wrote a blog post.  And published it–got the note at the top of the page saying it had been published and everything.  And it was just gone.  Not posted, not a draft, nowhere.  So I back-back-backed my way to this, and it’s blank.  That is one thing I do NOT miss about the Myspace blog days.  You couldn’t trust it not to erase all your work, so you had to write on a word doc and transfer it = pain.  Don’t start with that business, WordPress!  Anyone else having these probalems?  It’s never happened to me on here before this month. . .

So to recap I had told you I’m sorry for not posting.  I’ve been terribly busy.  And I felt guilty for leaving you hanging, and worried everyone would leave.  I told you I’d be back full force after my semester.  For now it’s a little crazy trying to get my obligations in check while fighting my sleep schedule.

And so help me–if this post is gone without a trace, I’ll scream!  Now, I cry because I have to work on Halloween, I’m eating too much sugar lately, and I still have homework, but I’m super-sleepy.

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