Taylor Swift’s Gay Moments ~ Mastermind [prequel]

I promise the direction I’m going with this will make sense when you see the actual post. I’m setting up your foundational knowledge with this one.

Back, back, back in 2005, sitting in some Animal Science course (dairy cattle? Genetics?) I remember having an epiphany that this farm animal development and behavior we were learning about could be extrapolated to human sexuality. I mean, duh, obviously mammals have much the same processes, everybody knows that. But I hadn’t heard about a CAUSE of homosexuality. As far as I was aware, nobody could find a gene, environmental factor, or consistent theory of how it came to be. All I knew, is that it isn’t a choice, and queerness was an innate, unchangeable trait.

What we were learning went something like this:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2670872/

This particular research paper was written in 1989. So it wasn’t a new concept. I couldn’t understand why nobody had put the pieces together and declared the CAUSE of human homosexuality…

OK, so it’s not nailed down to a single cause. It’s complicated. But here is research that finds maternal hormones do play a part in gender expression children and sexuality of adults:

Some Little Updates to the Blog

BIG thanks to ManiK Fox and Fegliogative for the artwork and letters!

Please check out their other artwork (and my mate’s music):

http://Instagram.com/ManikFox.AI

YouTube.com/@ManikFox

http://www.Instagram.com/Fegliogative

There were some even cooler designs but WordPress is a Bit(H and nothing would fit the banner without cutting out practically everything.

930 x 198 Pixels is a @$%$# Nightmare!

While we’re talking about logistics I also changed up the topics above the header. In keeping with the animal theme, I tried to do some wordplay, but they translate to:

• Animals
• Places
• (Anti) Valentines
• School/College/Education
• Work/Career
• Sexuality/LGBTQQAA
• Music
• Exercise/Diet
• Current Events/News
• Analysis of Media/Vocabulary

Just click any of those to filter posts by category.

Also, don’t forget about the “search” function in the top right for specific posts or key words. In combination with CTRL F you can find anything you want.

The current popular posts are listed on the right.

Under that is a word cloud to look at posts with a specific tag.

Then there is a list of my few last posts under that.

And finally, there’s a calendar of what I posted by date.

Indigo Girls Live w/the University of Colorado Symphony Orchestra (2018) Song Rankings

22.7% Awesome; 50% Good; 18.2% OK; 9.1% Meh; Skip out of 22

5 Awesome

Compromise

World Falls

Chickenman (high notes @ end)

Fugative

Go

I wish all artists would do an album with the symphony! I don’t know how I fell behind the times, but I was kicking myself for realizing this happened a year or two late! WTF?! I gotta see what’s going on with my email. But I’m trying to make up for lost time. The songs came out multi-layered, and dimensional in a novel way. Some of the songs were very well-suited to the orchestra, while others are my faves as-is so I like them less when they are messed with. Overall, a really solid album.

11 Good

The Woodsong

Sugar Tongue

Able to Sing

Happy in the Sorrow Key

Yoke (great singing)

Love of Our Lives (higher for instrumentals)

Galileo

Come a Long Way (ending)

WAr Rugs

DAmo

Kid Fears

4 OK

Virginia Woolf

Come On Home

Closer to Fine (Emily sounds out of breath)

Ghost

2 Meh

Power of Two

Mystery

Skip

If You Think College is a Bubble of Equality–YOU’RE in a Bubble

I listen to podcasts all day (practically) at work, a lot of them news and current events.  Today, one of them was talking about universities having to go online after the coronavirus social distancing restrictions.

A professor was talking about how the college experience puts each student on an equal playing field:  They all live in the dorms, eat the same crummy cafeteria food, and make their own ecosystem in the classroom.  This professor talked about receiving an email from one of her students after distance learning was put in place that broke her heart.

Cut to an interview with the student.  She never thought she would attend college–had really no interest in it until a high school counselor saw her grades.  This adult saw the grades and encouraged the student to apply to a private college.  Because of her economic status and grades this student got a full ride scholarship to attend.  The interviewer asked how that felt.  The response:  Tepid at best (my opinion).  The interviewer asked what she knew about the school at the time she received her full scholarship:  “I Googled it after I got the letter.”  She went to the campus for her Freshman year, even joining the lacrosse team.

So after the university sent everyone home to engage in distance learning, this student writes her professor an email.  I’ll summarize best I can remember (the interviewer had her read the email aloud for the podcast and she cried throughout):

I’m so sorry.  I am not going to be able to finish this assignment on time.  I can’t concentrate.  My parents own a food truck and since the coronavirus hit, they can’t do business.  They’re thinking about applying for a loan, but it’s uncertain.  I might have to help, maybe, but we don’t know yet.  It’s difficult to complete an assignment when it might be for nothing.  I don’t have a desk, and there are distractions here.  I’m sorry.  I feel so guilty.

So that sounds bad.  But there is a list of things I have a problem with:

-She is on a full-ride scholarship!  Most students have to pay for their education.  I (vs. Mommy and Daddy paying) was responsible for funding my own tuition, so I had to take out loans.  Hardly anyone gets a free college experience.

-Her indifference to applying for college, dearth of knowledge about the school, participation in sports, and email asking for an extension really convey to me that school is not this gal’s priority.

-She was economically stable enough to participate in a sport.  And had to balance her studies with a sport.  This is a luxury.  Also, time-management.

-Who the fuck has a desk?!  I never did.  We work from home, and don’t have a desk.  You make it work.  Find a counter.  Balance your computer on a book.  Seriously–is she even trying?  Honestly, I wanted to tell her to put in some earbuds and focus up.

-A call B.S. on this story.  I’m going to go ahead and be cynical.  I’d be willing to bet this is a dramatized version of events (aka sob story) because a deadline was looming.  Nobody wants a bad grade, so a last ditch effort might be firing off an email to get an extension.  I would love to hear from teachers how common sob story emails asking for extensions are (during and prior to coronavirus).

-This gal’s parents might not be able to keep their business going.  But this is hardly a novel situation.  And it’s not new just because of coronavirus either.  Having a savings account is a rarity.  So, so many students come from a background with economic hardships.  And way worse than hers, too.

-I went on Twitter to remind everybody this is not a coronavirus problem, as the podcast let on.  Disparity has always gone on in every educational setting!  This is nothing new.  Every student except your white, middle to upper-class male has hardships and disparities.  I think it’s gross how many commentators were shocked and appalled that coronavirus has created disparities.  As if they haven’t been going on this whole time.  One (of many, many, many) current examples are the admissions scandals.  This has always happened!

-It’s offensive to me that people were wanting this girl’s particular contact info so they could financially help her.  I told a lot of them they should give instead to one of the many organizations that helps struggling students.  Because pre-coronavirus and now there are tons and tons of students facing numerous disparities, and they need help.  And yeah, a lot of them even finish their assignments on time!

 

I Am Native American (no matter the blood quantum)

I will share with you an essay I wrote and used (after updating and tweaking, of course) for various different things.  It proves a point that heritage, has little to do with blood quantum (percent) and a lot to do with family traditions, how and where you were raised, the community you choose to belong to, and the customs you honor.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Asking a Native American “what percent Indian” they are is ignorant and limiting.  And it has everything to do with government funding.  The government had to cede (stolen) land to tribal members and make monetary payments in many cases, so frankly, it was in their best interest to make the bar for being considered Native American pretty high.  Thus, it limits the land lost to America and the ability of descendants to get their rightful land or funds.

It’s the same motivation, opposite direction for African Americans.  The government wanted that slave labor, so it was in their best interest to keep the bar for being considered black very low.  That way even descendants generations out had to work for free and had no rights to property.  Thus, the “one drop” definition of being black.

Both ends of the spectrum are historically rigid, and super-detrimental!  So that is why my mom is considered a tribal member, but I am not.  And why Elizabeth Warren’s claim to Native American heritage is legitimate, even though it’s a small percentage of her blood. Though, don’t get me wrong, I am not cool with having nothing to do with a culture, but then appropriating it for personal gain.  But people with that family history and who appreciate and honor their traditional culture, should be able to claim it–no matter the blood amount.

So without further adieu:

 I was born on The Flathead Indian Reservation in Montana. My great-grandfather lived in a tepee before religious missionaries put him in a boarding school where he was not allowed to speak his native language of Salish or dress in his buck-skins. The missionaries were attempting to integrate the Native Americans into white society by stripping away their Indian heritage. Despite this, our culture did not dissolve, as the stories of my ancestors were passed to me. I own authentic moccasins from one of the tribal elders, have danced with pride in pow-wows, and make delectable Indian fry bread for Thanksgiving dinner.

My mother is a recognized Confederated Salish-Kootenai Tribal member. In the 1960’s, the laws limited government help to Indians of a quarter blood quantum or more, so unfortunately, I was not able to be registered as a Tribal member of the Flathead Nation. I did experience the poverty common on the Flathead Reservation during my early childhood, however. As a little girl, I thought it was normal to eat the reservation commodities, and I still have a taste for powdered milk. We also ate meat when my parents were able to shoot a deer or catch some trout from the creek. I remember my cousins from town were not allowed to play with me, because I wore hand-me-downs.

My parents, wanting me to have more opportunity in life, started my college fund when I was a baby. My mother is the only member of the entire family who has obtained a college degree–my parents wanted me to be the second. I can see the pain in their eyes when my dad and mom tell stories of taking money out of my piggy-bank to afford basic necessities in Montana.

My Native American Heritage is something I cherish and embrace. I will be an asset to Washington State University because of the ethnic and socioeconomic factors that molded my perspectives. These will help me to display a sensitivity and tolerance toward others from all walks of life. I also bring a strong sense of pride in my work not only for myself, but my family and community.

I’ve Been In Utah a Year!

Hey, hey hey!

Once I stopped being a student, I pretty much stopped writing.  Though I like blogging, my daily run is more important to me, and aside from working full-time, sometimes that’s the only thing I do all day.

It’s weird to think how different I am as a person now.  I don’t have long-term career goals at the moment.  Not in a depressed, sad way–and (hopefully) not in a loser way.  My priorities are not really my career, and only my career any more.  I’ve come to the realization I must work to live, but it’s not EVERYTHING.  Also, the barriers into my career were crazy.  And that drags me down.  For instance, I’m pretty down on big-university and I’m not sure I’ll ever attend one again.  All I got was a huge amount of insurmountable debt–and nothing really to show for it.

The vet thing–didn’t work out.  And it’s too bad it kept working out that way, because I would have been the most wonderful, dedicated veterinarian.  But they didn’t want me–time and time again.  So I eventually (after literally 10 attempts) I had to learn when to say when.

Audiology:  Unlike veterinary medicine, which I know a plethra of (unfair) politics, issues, and reasons why I wasn’t accepted, I have no idea why Audiology didn’t want me.  I had a 4.0 GPA and I forgot my GRE scores (they are in this blog somewhere) but they were good.  Here is what the university published,

UU AuD class stats

The minimum GPA requirement for admission is a 3.0. Our average admission profile for an incoming Au.D. student for Fall 2015 was a 3.74 GPA and a GRE score of 311. These are only averages, and we admit candidates above and below these values.

So I met that, did extra-curriculars, worked during school, and tutored students in my program–what else could they want?  Maybe they give preferance to Utah residents–and I didn’t become one until too late.  I really don’t know.  But I certainly didn’t try nearly as hard as I did vet school, once they wait-listed me.  I only applied the once, then kinda felt thankful that I didn’t have 4 more years of school I couldn’t pay for.

So those things changed my perspective, and now I may SEEM lazy.  But it’s not the case.  I’m just sort of on hold for now.  We are living in Utah to save money.  Because Cool and I want our lives to be in Colorado.  It’s just too expensive for now.  So I’m working at a company (we both are) that we can make direct transfers to when we move.  And I don’t trust the management, or love my coworkers, but I’m hanging in there.  Because the peace of mind of having a job before you move, and moving and starting work when money is tight–is totally worth hassle now.

And I figure, I can’t make concrete plans because we are leaving, so I’ll just have to start over anyway.  This is a 3-4 year period of saving money and focusing on things besides my career.  My health for one.  Relationships.  Enjoying nature.  More easy-going types of things, for sure–but not less important than career stuff.

I was singularly focused on my career my whole life.  And what did that get me?  Thus, I’m changing my outlook slowly, and I’ll refocus on the career once we’ve settled in Colorado (last move ever!).

So I’m alive, I’m well.  I just don’t make the time to write like I used to.  And maybe another post won’t happen for awhile–but I’m not stressing out over it.

Moments of 2015-Bad

I see today (New Years Eve) as a day for reflection.  And I can’t say I’m sorry 2015 is over.  It wasn’t terrible, I’ve had much worse years.  But it wasn’t what I wanted either.  I like to know where I’m going, and in 2015 I never did.  I didn’t know if I would continue with school, and I didn’t know where my career would take me.  In the past, I’ve been severely disappointed when career objectives didn’t pan out, but this time I felt a calmness and grace about the situation.  Still, there is a dissatisfaction.  And now I’m left to really contemplate what I want in life.  But that’s a story for tomorrow, New Years Day, a day for goals and new beginnings.  Today I’ll post a few blogs about worst moments in 2015.  Which isn’t just picking the scabs of wounds, it’s thinking and it’s learning.  Seeing the worst times allows me to rearrange the circumstances to make next year better.

And again, I’m posting for the sake of time and forgoing a lot of re-writes.  I’ll edit later (maybe).

12TH WORST TIME OF 2015:  -Bob, at my new job, introducing himself as the janitor.  Trying to be funny, but offending me.  Insinuating of course he was much better than a crummy janitor.  He’s some client services administrator–big deal.  When he didn’t know that janitorial had been my very last job, and my father had been a custodian for 20 or 30 years.  What a D-bag.

11.  -Human drama at the YMCA.  Deb being all weird toward me because ???  and holding a grudge.  The churchy gal acting like a bitch and treating me like a lowly janitor.  Just coldness and unnecessary drama from people with nothing to keep their minds busy.  It was stupid, but even though I wasn’t invested in the drama, I noticed it, and had to DEAL with it.  Lame.

10.  -Rusty’s doors remaining half open in the winter.  Primarily because it rendered my remote start useless.  And obviously I NEED that.  I hate being cold.  So much so, that I had bought my own remote start and fought for them to put it in my manual–which is a liability for them and usually against the rules.  And I had always loved starting the car from inside the warm building.  But now it set off the alarm, because the doors were open just enough. . .

9.  -The unwelcoming, frosty environment at MSCL for my first 7 months working there.  NOBODY acknowledged me, talked to me, or anything.  I felt awkward and alone.  Those duds and douche-bags were the WORST!  Here’s an example:  I walk in as a brand new employee–and nobody (even my boss)  says hello.  Or I sneeze–and nobody says bless you or anything.  It was as if I was invisible.  I guess it’s because they have high turn-over, and they were change-averse.  And because it’s a lab, so people don’t have great any social skills.  But it still made me feel like it was ME.  And that brought back horrible memories of veterinary social problems that plagued my work life previously.  I had wanted new beginnings and to turn a corner in a new field–and this was not the start I’d hoped for.

8.  -Not getting into the UU AuD program, despite getting the 4.0, having extracurriculars, and working very hard on my application.  Was it the gay-themed activities I put on my application?  Bad interview answers?  Being from out-of-state?  I really don’t have any idea, and I feel like I should be in there.  Easily.  But this is toward the bottom of my disappointments (and the top of this list) because I’ve grown as a person, through my veterinary sagas.  I had to future plan, which wasn’t cool.  I still don’t know what I will do career-wise, which is scary and reeks of failure.  But I didn’t totally fall apart this time.  I took it in stride.  I do wonder how in the heck I didn’t get in that class, because I feel like I really deserved it and would have done an excellent job.  But I’m putting it on to them, not beating myself up over it.  And I’m not sure it’s what I want anyway.  I’m very disillusioned by the costs of school.  And I haven’t gotten ANY return on my undergrad investment.  And the forums scared me off of audiology a little, because they said Hearing Instrument Specialists can do almost exactly the same job, with NO school.  And they probably get paid equal or MORE than actual audiologists.  Also people talked about it being kind of a dead-end career, that’s highly redundant.  And I didn’t know if paying for 4 more years would even be worth it in the end.  But I’m still undecided, and haven’t closed the audiology door all the way.  Perhaps being 14th for a class of 12 was actually a favor to me. . .

7.  -When my parents insisted I call Dad’s chiropractor’s son about getting IN at Costco audiology–NOW, at the same time I frantically trying to complete a heavy-duty YWCA-UT job application and get ready for work at my current job.  They get overwrought and crazy and over-emotional, then there’s nothing for me to say or do to stop that crazy-train.  Unless I do what they say, when they say it, things fall apart quickly.  The whole thing just reminded me of every other time my parents tried to control me.  And how they were probably disappointed in me.  And that’s how the big horribleness of 2007 Cabin-Mansion had really kicked off the first time, so I was scared there would be a big blow up and subsequent melt-down of the relationship we had worked so hard to forge.

6.  -The meeting where work reneged on the full-time schedule, hours, and pay we had negotiated 3 days prior.  I had finagled the best schedule for my weekends, sleep, and time with Cool.  Everyone at work had left the meeting satisfied and happy.   They got coverage on a Sunday, which had been difficult to secure, I got Fridays and Saturdays off and a late-start Wednesday.  It was absolutely perfect and I commended myself for taking a chance and asking.  But 2 days later, they called me back in and told me I’d have to take the legit schedule I had applied for.  Because a girl (previously a bitch to me) who had more seniority, and was better at the job wanted to work Sunday.  And trying to please everyone, instead of defending me and the schedule they had promised me, they gave it to her.  So I felt betrayed (again) and like I had a much worse schedule.  But I also felt trapped.  What else would I do?  I needed this job, or it was back to veterinary assisting.  So I had to just accept it and deal with–while being really angry, frustrated, and un-trusting toward management–and that bitch.

5.  -When Cool picked a fight just 2 days after my good knows of getting a full-time job.  Cutting short my celebration.  Depression strikes this time.  Out of nowhere, Cool knocks the figurative wind out of me by acting like a major jerk.  It was awful, because I had just talked to my proud parents and had been super-ecstatic about my new job, and Cool knocked me down to a miserable level.  I was really sad about it, because I’m ALWAYS supporting Cool and she just didn’t have it in her to even pretend to return the favor–her depressive episode made it all about her.  Again.  I wished she could be supportive and celebrate with me, but instead her bipolar and selfishness ruined it all.  The memory of my new job is still tarnished.

4.  -Getting stuck with all the moving logistics, work, and most of the payments, because Cool went manic and in so doing abandoned me in a time of stress and need.  Which was the WORST because moving sucks anyway.  And there is so much to do and plan, and so much heavy physical work.  It wasn’t fair and I felt alone and unsupported.  Mental illness is the WORST sometimes.  It’s hard not to blame Cool, and that’s not really what I signed up for.  Cleaning the Spokompton apartment by myself was awful.  It was messy and there was so, so, so much left to do.  And it wasn’t fun, and I felt resentful that Cool had already started her job and couldn’t come do her share of the work.  Especially when I was cleaning things SHE had messed up.  Driving Rusty, alone, and wanting to come home and relax very badly, after such a tiring trip and no sleep.  Then walking into a messy house full of manic shenanigans, with a Craigslist ill-fitting futon we hadn’t talked about.  And dealing with having to clean and reconfigure everything, while dealing with a belligerent, unreasonable, manic person.  It was BAD.

3.  -Finding out I was just PRN (after they promised me something different in my interview).  I had interviewed over the phone for the job.  They said I was technically applying for a PRN job, but soon, they were posting a job with more regular hours.  That job was the same duties, but it was a year of guaranteed hours.  This PRN job, which had been posted was 25 hours a week for training, but then was substitute only.  Not stable, and not really what I wanted.  So they hired me during my phone interview, but told me they would call me when (slow) HR got around to posting the year-long job.  Then, I was to apply for that to make the paperwork legit, and that job would be mine.  I waited for the call to tell me that year-job had been posted and to complete that application.  And waited.  When I finally got the phone call from MSCL, they were wanting me to pick a start date for the as-needed job.  And pretended not to remember promising me the more stable-year long job.  I had written it down!  And the way my supervisor acted was callous–and I knew she remembered, but had just reneged.  But I had to take the lessor job, because what else was I going to do?  I needed an income after moving to a new state.  And sure enough on my first day of work, I found out they had hired a coworkers daughter for MY year-long job.  Nepotism had been at play, and as usual I got screwed at work.

2.  -The fear-phobia really, of being offered a job at a veterinary specialty hospital.  I had a sense of dread and sick feeling.  I should have never applied to veterinary hospitals, because my resume is just BUILT for them.  But I was feeling a little insecure and desperate about my guarenteed training 25 hours per week becoming true, as-needed.  I HAVE to work a minimum of 25 hours just to meet my bills, and that was soon to end.  And it’s my policy to ALWAYS interview for the practice if one is offered.  And while I know my veterinary experience is a major advantage in that field, I didn’t anticipate them loving me quite so much and being offered a full-time position on the spot.  The trouble was, it did seem like the best case scenario veterinary medicine could offer.  It was ONLY speciality referrals.  It was the BEST veterinarians in the state.  The hospital hirarchy was set up so there was a legitimate office manager and head vet tech to answer to–not the impulses of vets.  There was a true support system and everyone was on the same learning curve and truely didn’t leave you alone to fail.  And they seemed nice.  And said they didn’t yell–and I believed them.  And the technology was AWESOME.  They really had it all, not just the Idexx lab and digital x-ray.  Like ALL the toys, including MRI, and anything else spectacular.  But I had just such bad memories.  And I knew the schedules and the overwork, and the under-pay.  All the pit-falls, that really, I could no longer live with.  And it’s not what I want in life.  And the delimma was feeling like I HAD to take it, because I really had nothing else to fall back on, but feeling STRESS at the prospect of taking it.  In the end, I made the very, very difficult decision on not going backwards.  It was really hard (and brave) leaving veterinary assisting jobs in the first place, and I had done it for good reasons.  I had to keep up that bravery even when times got tough.  So I declined, but left the door open.  And they liked me so well, that they said to call any time I wanted a job.

1.  VERY WORST 2015 MOMENT:  Thinking Goose might have thrown a clot to the leg, and worrying about his impending death, and worse, knowing there wasn’t a lot I could do to prevent it.  He randomly fell off the couch twice, and didn’t have use of his back leg.  It was too short to be a seizure (maybe) but didn’t have the pain of a thrombosis.  But my reference point was when the screaming cats had been brought to the vet.  Maybe there were precursor incidents at home that hadn’t been painful, and had gone ignored by owners–I didn’t know.  So of course, I thought the worst.  And I remembered the vets at Cats Meow preparing owners if there were any heart abnormalities.  Telling them to just make the decision to euthanize now, before emotions were involved, because once the clot was thrown, prognosis was grave.  And I remember the cats coming in-just screaming in horrible pain.  And owners saying it happened out of nowhere.  One day, the cat was fine, the next down in back and just SCREAMING.  It was awful to imagine that for my Goose.  And it’s still in the back of my mind, because he is a Maine Coon and they are notorious for heart issues.  But I’m hoping he was just being a clumsy dink, since it’s only happened twice, and the episodes were brief.

A Lot Can Change In One Year

Last year at this time, I was probably heading into my first round of exams for my last semester in the Post-Bac Speech & Hearing Sciences program.  I had worked ALL summer on my application materials and was editing papers and really preparing as much as possible for an acceptance into an audiology program.

This year, I just don’t know.  I am sad I wasted all that money, time, and effort to just get put-off for the audiology track.  I thought that would be my thing.  Now I’m thinking it’s not going to happen.  Big-University’s have taken enough of my money, and really not afforded me opportunities.  I have an Animal Science degree that I pay for, but still don’t use.  And now I have a post-bac idea that isn’t a certificate, let alone a degree.  And I’m paying back those loans as well.  Besides the lack of ability to PAY for more school, I’m not big on the idea anymore.  And I’m reading a lot of things I don’t like about the audiology career.  Like 4 years of school, repetitive work, and a low ceiling financially.

Maybe the Audiology was just a means to get me out of the veterinary world.  But if that’s true, I feel like there should be a world opening up for me where I do fit in.  It’s seriously not fair.

Anyway, that was supposed to be an intro into the real post:  What are my priorities?

It’s good to have an idea of your priorities so you can arrange your life around them.  Make what’s important the thing that’s in your life most predominately.  It gives an idea of boundaries.  I really don’t know mine, just because I have no long-term plan yet.  So I’ll just talk about in the shorter term to have something.

It’s important to me to keep running every day.  I don’t want it to get squeezed out of my schedule.

I want to see Cool often.

It’s imperative the apartment stays clean.

I need to make enough money to cover my bills.

This next 4-5 years is about saving as much money as possible so we can move to Colorado.

I would like not to have to take a step backwards into veterinary assisting if it all possible.

I’d like some dental and eye insurance.

I enjoy having some time off while Cool also has time off to explore this new city.

I want to be able to take an occasional trip to see our parents, or just some more states.

The kitties, obviously, will remain with us and well cared for.  So pet-friendly apartments are a MUST.

Sleep.  I want enough of it.  9 hours would be ideal, and I don’t want to sacrifice it.

I want to explore how to break into laboratory careers.  I like the work.  And I really like not dealing with the public–like a lot more then I realized I would.  Maybe I can get a simple (not big university!) certification that could get me in the lab.

I should also look into hearing instrument specialists.  I have no idea how to get into it, but they make just as much (or more) than audiologists.  And I started that ball rolling at Riverpoint, so it would be nice not to waste it.

So I guess my priorities are my health, my relationships, and finding a job or career that I can pay my bills.

I Thought This Was It

My whole life I wanted to be a veterinarian.  So when that didn’t pan out, after time and time again of putting fourth my best effort–I was lost.  I didn’t know what to do with my life or what backup career I would chase.

And it took a lot of soul-searching and research to find an acceptable alternative–I just didn’t WANT to do anything that wasn’t animal related.  But Audiology made the most sense.  Sure, I didn’t love it in the same way and wasn’t excited about it like I was for animal work.  But nothing came close.  And it did spark my interest.  And in Audiology I could help people like my dad.  And there were a lot of great things about the career:  A stable schedule, more 9-5PM healthcare, higher salary so I could fight only my undergrad degree costs.

So I went to Riverpoint for 2 years.  And worked my A$$ off.  I really earned that 4.0 and for once in my life, made working the 2nd priority, which 9 times out of 10, was HARD.  I thought the grades would carry me into the next step of the program this time.  I thought with that 4.0 GPA, no admissions would reject me again.

But grades weren’t all I had.  I still participated in the extra-curriculars, volunteered, did extra for my program, observed professionals on my own time.  I had good letters from people I worked to know.  I even traveled out-of-state for the interview.

And I was 14th on the list.  For a class of 12.  So 2nd on the waiting list.  Wait-listed AGAIN.  And even though I knew from multiple experiences what that meant, and how much of a long shot the wait list is–there was a teeny bit of hope.

Not a lot, but enough that I didn’t make any non-reversible plans or huge life decisions.  But in 40 minutes with the close of business hours, the wait list is over.  I will not be joining the Audiology doctoral class in 10 days.  I feel sad.  Sad for wasting all that effort at Riverpoint–not to mention incurring even more student loan debt on an education I can’t use.  And I’m relieved.  Because 10 days to get ready for a rigorous program is not a lot.  I didn’t have a loan for tuition, didn’t know how to make rent when students aren’t allowed off campus jobs, didn’t have books or a parking permit, and forgot far too many concepts and details of my hearing courses.

But mainly I feel lost again.

I’m not sure where to start over.  I can’t really pay for more school after the big move, and I’ll probably never go back to a big university, because for me it just hasn’t been worth all the money.  But what about a technical program?  Community college?  A job?  And in what area?

So again I’m left with a lot of questions and no real direction.  All I know is something has to happen soon.

Textbooks: When to Get the Most Money Back

I tracked the sell-back prices for two different textbooks over a year.

Again, I used a random online textbook comparison company.  Many will work, I’m not sure it really matter, just as long as you don’t sell anything back on campus.  Nothing is worse than paying $132 for one textbook and getting back $6 (if you’re lucky) when the semester is over!  The site I used is:

http://www.campusbooks.com/

I wrote the date:  the highest sell-back price for book #1; then the highest sell-back price for book #2.  Mostly I tracked the highest and 2nd highest prices for each book, but I started that a little later.  I also noted when Amazon made an appearance because they often trump everyone else’s prices.

The first book is:

Treatment Resource Manual for Speech Language Pathology

• Authors: Froma P. Roth – Colleen K. Worthington

ISBN:  1111319782

The second book is:

Survival Guide for the Beginning Speech-Language Clinician

• Author: Susan Moon Meyer

ISBN10 = 0890799814

 

For the first book, the highest prices were late October to early November ($96.19) and in August ($90-ish).  The lowest buy-back prices were late March ($8.50!) and April when they dipped down into the $20 range.

For the second book, the highest prices were pretty much when Amazon entered the buy-back mix, which was January (as high as $54), August (about $43),  and opposite of book one, late March early April ($40-$43). Which shows that it varies by book a little bit.  The lowest prices for book one were again opposite of the previous book.  The worst time to sell back was in November of 2014 when they dropped to $20-ish and this last June when they were again in the twenty dollar range.  The 2015 drop could mean a new edition came out or a better book came out.  So it’s good to wait until the book companies are paying more, but not so long that your book becomes obsolete since they’re always writing new ones.

So sell-back prices are more complex then the purchase price, because the school time-lines aren’t driving the process as much.  It looks like in general, August is a good time to sell.  But you might want to check frequently for the best prices on your particular book or sell to people at your own school.

Here’s the data:

3/14/14: $60/$30;
5/14: $54/$30;
6/10: $86/37; $38.50
6/15: $57, $36.50
6/19: $55; $35
7/1: $84;$34
7/8/14: $84.10; $35.25
7/13: $84.10; $31.25
7/28: $81.30; $31.00
8/3, 8/4: $81.90; $36.75
8/5: $81.90; $35
8/7: $85.91; $35
8/10: $90.54; $36.50
8/11: $90.54; $37.13
8/12: $90.53; $37.25
8/13: $84.88; $37.75
8/14: $84.90; $37.90
8/15/14: $84.90; $41.93 (Amazon appeared), 2nd highest is $38.12
8/17″ $90.53 (Amazon appeared); $43.17 (Amazon), $42.44
8/19: $90.54 (Amazon), $84 (2nd most); $43.17 (Amazon), $42.44 (2nd best)
8/20: $90.53 (Amazon), $84 (2nd); $43.25, $43.17 (Amazon)
8/22: $90.53 (Amazon), $84 (2nd); $43.80, $43.78 (Amazon)
8/24: $89.53 (Amazon), $56.25 (2nd); $40.36 (Amazon), $36.68 (2nd best)
8/26: $89.53 (Amazon), 54.27 (2nd); $40.36 (Amazon), $33.25 (2nd)
8/28: $89.53 (Amazon), $57.50 (2nd); $33.14 (Amazon), $31.91 (2nd)
9/2: $83.06 (Amazon), $53.25 (2nd); $37.38 (Amazon), $34.50 (2nd)
9/4/14: $80.22 (Amazon), $55.13 (2nd); $37.80 (Amazon), $33.50 (2nd)
9/5: no more Amazon, $58.25, $22.07 (2nd); $38.16 (Amazon), $33.50 (2nd)
9/10: $83.06 (Amazon), $56.50 (2nd); $39.60 (Amazon), $33.50 (2nd)
9/14: $83.06 (Amazon), $56.50 (2nd); $35.40 (Amazon), $35.00 (2nd)
9/15: $83.06 (Amazon),$56.50 (2nd); $35.00, $34.73 (Amazon is 2nd)
9/18: $83.06 (Amazon), $56.50 (2nd); $37.00 (no Amazon)
9/21: $83.06 (Amazon), $52.41 (2nd); $35.00 (Amazon), $35.00 (2nd)
9/22: $83.06 (Amazon), $55.75 (2nd); $35.00, $33.00, $32.93 (Amazon 3rd)
9/25: $83.06 (Amazon), $55.76 (2nd); $35.00 (Amazon = 2nd)
9/28: $83.06 (Amazon), $59.25 (2nd); $35.00, no Amazon
10/1: $83.06 (Amazon), $59.25 (2nd); $35.00, $33.00 (2nd), $31.52 (Amazon)
10/4: $83.06 (Amazon), $54.75 (2nd); $35.00, $33.00 (2nd), $31.45 (Amazon)
10/8: $83.06 (Amazon), $54.75 (2nd); $33.25, $33.00 (2nd), $31.35 (Amazon)
10/12: $83.06 (Amazon), $53.00 (2nd); $31.14, $30.00 (2nd)
10/16: $84.95 (Amazon), $51.25 (2nd); $31.14, $22.50 (2nd)
10/20: $96.19 (Amazon), $41.50 (2nd); $31.14, $20.00 (2nd)
10/22: $96.19 (Amazon), $41.50 (2nd); $31.14, $21.25 (2nd)
10/25: $96.19 (Amazon), $41.50 (2nd); $31.14, $20.25 (2nd)
10/27: $96.19 (Amazon), $43.18 (2nd); $31.14, $21.25 (2nd)
10/30: $96.19 (Amazon), $41.50 (2nd); $31.14, $21.25 (2nd)
11/3: $96.19 (Amazon), $43.18 (2nd); $34.75, $20.50 (2nd)
11/5: $96.19 (Amazon), $45.75 (2nd); $26.13, $24.31 (2nd)
11/7/14: $96.19 (Amazon), $43.18 (2nd); $32.00, $28.50 (2nd)
11/9: $96.19 (Amazon), $46.50 (2nd); $33.00, $31.14 (2nd)
11/11: $96.19 (Amazon), $44.50 (2nd); $31.00, $24.32 (Amazon)
11/15: $96.19 (Amazon), $46.25 (2nd); $33.25, $31.25 (2nd)
11/17: $76.64 (Amazon), $46.25 (2nd); $33.00, $31.25 (2nd)
11/19: $77.64 (Amazon), $46.25 (2nd); $33.25, $31.25 (2nd)
11/22: $77.64 (Amazon), $43.18 (2nd); $27.81, $24.93 (2nd)
11/25: $81.14 (Amazon), $45.75 (2nd); $29.50, $27.86 (2nd)
11/27: $81.14 (Amazon), $45.75 (2nd); $29.50, $28.28 (2nd)
11/29: $81.14 (Amazon), $45.75 (2nd); $29.50, $28.62 (2nd)
12/1: $83.64 (Amazon), $45.75 (2nd); $30.00, $29.30 (Amazon)
12/3: $83.64 (Amazon), $46.25 (2nd); $31.25, $29.67 (Amazon)
12/5: $83.64 (Amazon), $46.25 (2nd); $29.49, (Amazon) $29.25
12/8: $87.14 (Amazon), $49.50 (2nd); $29.55 (Amazon), $29.50 (2nd)
12/10: $88.17 (Amazon), $47.25 (2nd); $32.50, $29.85 (Amazon)
12/11: $88.17 (Amazon), $49.25 (2nd); $32.25, $30.25
12/13: $88.17 (Amazon), $50.25 (2nd); $32.25, $30.25 (2nd)
12/15: $88.17 (Amazon), $50.25 (2nd); $32.00, $30.00 (2nd)
12/16: $88.17 (Amazon), $36.75 (2nd); $32.25, $30.00 (2nd)
12/18: $88.17 (Amazon), $39.00 (2nd); $31.45, $30.00 (2nd)
12/20: $88.17 (Amazon), $80.50 (2nd); $31.75, $29.75 (2nd)
12/22: $88.17 (Amazon), $80.50 (2nd); $31.50, $30.04 (2nd)
12/23: $80.75, $78.75 (2nd); $31.50, $30.30 (Amazon)
12/25: $86.50, $84.50 (2nd); $32.25, $30.28 (Amazon)
12/29: $86.25, $84.25 (2nd); $34.50, $34.20 (2nd)
12/31/14: $81.25, $76.13 (Amazon); $36.82, $34.80 (2nd)
1/2/15: $81.63 (Amazon), $45.50 (2nd); $39.00, $37.01
1/5: $45.50, $43.00 (2nd); $39.00, $38.00 (2nd)
1/7: $49.25, $46.00 (2nd); $38.00, $37.62 (Amazon)
1/9: $49.00, $44.55 (2nd); $38.10 (Amazon), $38.00 (2nd)
1/13: $58.75, $57.00 (2nd); $39.23 (Amazon), $38.00 (2nd)
1/15: $67.25, $63.00 (2nd); $41.00, $40.04 (Amazon)
1/17: $64.75, $62.75 (2nd); $40.00, $39.69 (Amazon)
1/20: $70.00, 68.25 (2nd); $38.00, $36.48 (Amazon)
1/22: $72.25, $70.25 (2nd); $38.00, $35.67 (Amazon)
1/23: $72.25, $70.25 (2nd); $38.00, $35.97 (Amazon)
1/26: $74.25, $58.81 (Amazon); $38.00, $35.23 (Amazon)
1/27: $74.50, $68.80 (2nd); $38.00, $37.25 (2nd)
1/29: $74.50, $70.54 (Amazon); $54.24 (Amazon), $38.00 (2nd)
1/31: $79.78 (Amazon), $74.75; $45.52 (Amazon), $40.00
2/2: $67.10, $29.75 (2nd); $45.82 (Amazon), $40.00
2//4: $34.53 (Amazon), $29.75 (2nd); $46.41 (Amazon), $40.00 (2nd)
2/9/15: $40.00, $39.73 (Amazon); $37.50, $33.65 (2nd)
2/13: $37.50, $33.65; $40.50, $39.66 (Amazon)
2/16: $35.75, $31.95; $42.18 (Amazon), $42.00 (2nd)
2/17: $34.00, $30.30 (2nd); $42.00, $40.00 (2nd)
2/19: $35.75, $31.95 (2nd); $35.75, $35.50 (2nd)
2/20: $35.75, $31.95 (2nd); $35.75, $35.50 (2nd)
2/23: $35.75, $31.95 (2nd); $35.75, $35.50 (2nd)
3/2/15: $34.00, $30.05 (2nd); $38.00, $35.75 (2nd)
3/4: $36.00, $32.20 (2nd); $40.25, $38.25 (2nd)
3/6: $34.00, $30.30 (2nd); $40.25, $38.25 (2nd)
3/9: $34.00, $30.30 (2nd); $42.50, $40.50 (2nd)
3/11: $32.25, $28.40 (2nd); $40.50, $38.25 (2nd)
3/16: $8.10, $6.52 (2nd); $43.00, $41.00 (2nd)
3/18: $8.10, $7.49 (2nd); $44.85, $38.00 (2nd)
3/20: $8.50, $8.10 (2nd); $38.00, $37.95 (2nd)
3/22: $8.50, $8.10 (2nd); $37.95, $37.76 (2nd)
3/24: $26.23 (Amazon), $17.98 (2nd); $38.25 (Amazon), $36.30 (2nd)
3/25: $26.23 (Amazon), $16.62 (2nd); 38.53 (Amazon), $35.00 (2nd)
3/26: $19.25, $16.30 (2nd); $38.75 (Amazon), $35.00 (2nd)
3/29: $26.23 (Amazon), $8.10 (2nd); $39.62 (Amazon), $32.50 (2nd)
3/30/15: $27.75, $26.78 (2nd); $43.45, $41.50 (2nd)
3/31: $54.50, $54.00 (2nd); $40.01 (Amazon), $36.30 (2nd)
4/2: $54.50, $54.25 (2nd); $40.34 (Amazon), $36.30 (2nd)
4/4: $57.75, $26.32 (2nd-Amazon); $40.74 (Amazon), $35.00 (2nd)
4/7: $57.75, $26.32 (2nd-Amazon); $41.10 (Amazon); $32.50 (2nd)
4/9: $30.50, $29.70 (2nd); $41.11 (Amazon), $32.50 (2nd)
4/11/15: $27.75, $26.78 (2nd); $32.50, $30.52 (2nd)
4/12: $28.50, $27.55 (2nd); $32.50, $30.52 (2nd)
4/14: $28.25, $27.33 (2nd); $32.50, $30.25 (2nd)
4/16: $29.00, $26.82 (2nd); $32.50 (2 companies), $32.02 (3rd)
4/18: $29.00, $26.82 (2nd); $32.50, $28.07 (2nd)
4/21: $28.50, $26.30 (2nd); $32.50, $28.87 (2nd)
4/24: $20.75, $17.70 (2nd); $32.50, $30.75 (2nd)
4/25: $20.75, $17.70 (2nd); $32.50, $30.75 (2nd)
4/29/15: $54.20 (x2), $20.75 (2nd); $35.00, $34.80 (2nd)
4/30: $57.50 (x2), $54.20 (2nd); $35.00, $34.80 (2nd)
5/2: $54.20 (x2), $32.75 (x2) (2nd); $35.00, $30.50 (2nd)
5/5: $57.50 (x2), $54.20 (2nd); $32.25, $31.75 (2nd)
5/7: $61.00 (x2), $58.80 (2nd); $35.50, $31.09 (2nd)
5/9: $61.00 (x2), $58.74 (2nd); $35.50, $31.34 (2nd)
5/12: $64.50 (x2), $62.21 (2nd); $35.75, $31.34 (2nd)
5/14: $68.50 (x2), $66.25 (2nd); $35.75, $31.75 (2nd)
5/16: $68.50 (x2), $66.36 (2nd); $35.75, $32.50 (2nd)
5/18: $72.50 (x2), $72.24 (2nd); $36.00, $31.75 (2nd)
5/20: $72.50 (x2), $70.45 (2nd); $36.25, $31.82 (2nd)
5/22: $77.00 (x2), $74.70 (2nd); $36.50, $32.06 (2nd)
5/23: $77.00 (x2), $74.86 (2nd); $36.50, $32.50 (2nd)
5/25: $81.50 (x2), $79.70 (2nd); $36.50, $32.50 (2nd)
5/27: $75.70, $75.25 (2nd); $36.75, $32.30 (2nd)
5/30/15: $73.50, $70.00 (2nd); $37.25, $33.03 (2nd)
6/2: $77.75, $75.44 (2nd); $37.50, $33.03 (2nd)
6/4: $82.50, $80.22 (2nd); $37.50, $33.27 (2nd)
6/5: $82.25, $79.95 (2nd); $37.50, $33.28 (2nd)
6/8/15: $82.25, $82.01 (2nd); $38.00, $33.51 (2nd)
6/10: $80.90, $80.50 (2nd); $38.25, $33.99 (2nd)
6/15: $77.25, $73.10 (2nd); $29.00, $28.75 (2nd)
6/16: $77.25, $73.10 (2nd); $29.00, $28.75 (2nd)
6/18: $81.75, $61.72 (2nd); $31.00, $30.75 (2nd)
6/25: $82.00 (x2), $75.90 (3rd); $28.25, $28.00 (2nd)
6/29/15: $80.25 (x2), $75.90 (3rd); $30.25, $30.00 (2nd)
7/2: $80.25 (x2), $74.30 (3rd); $29.00, $28.75 (2nd)
7/8: $74.00 (x2), $64.00 (3rd); $28.50, $
8/615: $65.50 (x2), $60.30 (x2) (3rd); $33.75, $31.85 (2nd)