Peeping Thong [posted 3-1-09]

17 Jan

You know how Earl has a karma list?  I think I’m going to compile a pet-peeve list featuring my aphorisms.  Sometimes I would just like to curse at people to infuse some sense into them.  Irritation #268:  Scrubs are supposed to be loose as a rule!  Your ass has poked my eye out and it makes me want to shower you with imprecations.

It is the same old story–my apothegm:  People buy their clothes too small.  I am not sure which enervates me more, looking at it, or ranting about it.  It is not optimal to buy the smallest size you can slither into, I cannot share this axiom enough.  No one knows what size you are wearing, and God knows they make scrubs in huge sizes!  You are supposed to be able to move in scrubs.  Boys, this maxim is for you too–maybe even more so than for the ladies.  I don’t wanna see that, as my postulate alludes to.

I would venture to postulate you are not clubbin’ or at the beach—buy scrubs that fit you properly!!!  I do not know why this is such a common thing, but it saps my energy to see it and almost debilitates me to have to bring it up again and again.  The self-evident truth is that scrubs are not meant to hug your curves, and I certainly should never see your thong in them!  Let’s not even talk about crack *shudder*  This premise holds true especially if you are a doctor [that’s who this post is about, P.S.]!  It is in these instances I am most put-out and enfeebled–these types got into veterinary school over me!  When I see idiots that made it in my dream career over me, I have so much anathema towards them.  Be a professional—not a damn slut.

And if you are so pathetic that you feel good when some dirty old man oogles you, you need to get a damn life.  You bring malediction to all women with an attitude (and low self-esteem) such as that.  A dude would look at a toothless crack-whore if she was showing her ass. . .  If I can tell you what color thong you’ve worn for the last week, your scrubs are too tight.  C’mon people, is it THAT hard?!


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