2023 Scoring System:
Sidenote: I got this snip today to post, I NEVER look at other reviews prior to publishing my own. My thoughts and opinions and rankings are mine.
First time I’ve ever seen him–it’s giving major Billy Ray Cyrus vibes.
I judged the following REALLY hard because somebody thought that each of the 36 songs on the record belonged there, and shouldn’t have been cut.
Reminder of our Key:
Banners = proclaim Christ
Tearing down banners is revoking allegiance to God, according to the Bible. Taylor has been struggling with her sexuality and her religion, but now that she’s voiced/acted on her queerness she feels like in God’s eyes she threw her banner down.
Banners are also heraldry = family crest = her dad?
A second interpretation is the Heraldry-battle-shield one involving her heritage. In battles the knights and everyone would carry a shield. On it would be the picture of the crest/coat of arms so that there was no friendly-fire (nobody was recognizable in all that armor). People would start the battle by carrying the flags of each side.
Taylor is the 35th great granddaughter of King Robert the II of Scotland (through her father’s line). They have a coat of arms already.
After her dad was homophobic, and forced her into closeting and bearding-which led to the trauma of JM. She threw her family banner(flag) down and created her own personal one.
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts-
Her dad arranged JM to cover up Taymily?
TS is tormented that her dad took her childhood away by having her date a 35 y.o.
JM was abusive/horrible.
She wants to get back at her dad bc she would have never gotten with terrible JM if her dad hadn’t pushed her. Going to such extremes to hide an innate part of her also caused Taylor to have internalized homophobia. And the message that homosexuals are sinners going to hell caused her religious trauma.
If Taylor had never had feelings toward a gal (Emily?)
lyrics to the song on the video:
she could have stayed loyal to God (homophobic churches say homosexuality is a sin). Taylor never would have known she was sapphic. A double meaning is that authority figures would not have set her up with a 35 year old man if they weren’t trying to cover it up.
Despite “losing her religion” Taylor says the pain that came with being her sapphic-self with a woman felt right. Taylor will swap out God for women (heaven). Ghosts: Now that Taylor is an adult, she’s scared to be out, scared of the people who could out her. And memories feel bad. The next line (why memories might feel bad) has a triple meaning: She wishes her attraction to Emily would never have awoken her queerness. Taylor wishes that the crush on the woman hadn’t happened to her, so she could still be ignorant or questioning her sexuality. She wants it to be like it was before when she was with God and away from the devil. And she wishes John Mayer would have left her wondering what it would be like to date an adult man, because the experience traumatized her.
Taylor says she could have remained pure and religious if she was not turned on by a woman’s touch. Taylor goes on to say if her body language and demeanor hadn’t told on her, then authorities/fans/media wouldn’t have gossiped about her sexuality. Taylor says she could have remained a straight good girl if Emily/her own queerness hadn’t saved her from boredom (with men). Lastly, Taylor is resentful that Emily played into the crush, and gave Taylor hope, but then walked away pretending nothing happened.
Three things cause Taylor to question her own faith/religiousness: Her sexuality. Her hope of dating/being with a woman because Emily downplayed whatever they had and didn’t take Taylor seriously. And John Mayer’s bad treatment of her made Taylor see evil (is this a punishment from God for being gay?).
If Taylor hadn’t gone out on a limb and wasn’t obvious about her feelings for Emily, she could still be considered unquestionably straight, and stayed on the path of the righteous. Dancing with the devil is both giving into homosexual thoughts/urges and being with POS John Mayer.
Taylor says despite negative reactions, being with women felt good. But now she’s scared of the consequences of her sexuality, and afraid to come out or be outed.
https://www.lgbtmap.org/equality_maps/profile_state/TN
Taylor misses the All American Girl she used to be when she didn’t know she was queer. She misses being a “good” Christian instead of gay. Taylor wishes she had never been traumatized by the homophobia of the adults around her, or traumatized by her beard/forced BF, John Mayer.
Taylor can’t shut off the memories of whatever John Mayer did to her. She fights having the memories of the bad stuff, and regrets getting involved with JM. She wants the bad feelings to go away.
She also regrets joining the devil (a homosexual impulse) and fights with the devil/herself at night to stop being sapphic. Taylor feels like she’s straying from God and looks for a sign that it’s acceptable or not.
Hits Different
I washed my hands of us at the club You made a mess of me/I pictured you with other girls in love/Then threw up on the street/Oh, my, love is a lie…/…It hits different this time/Catastrophic blues/Movin’ on was always easy for me to do/It hits different/It hits different ’cause it’s you/(‘Cause it’s you)/I used to switch out these Kens, I’d just ghost/Rip the band-aid off and skip town likе an asshole outlaw…/…Cursed the space that I needed/I trace the evidence, make it make some sense/Why the wound is still bleedin’/You were the one that I loved…/…Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief/In the good in the world, you once believed in me/And I felt you and I held you for a while/Bet I could still melt your world/Argumentative, antithetical dream girl…/…Or have they come to take me away?/To take me away
Father’s reaction to coming out
High Infidelity
Lock broken, slur spoken/Wound open, game token/I didn’t know you were keeping count/Rain soaking, blind hoping/You said I was freeloading/I didn’t know you were keeping count/High infidelity/Put on your records and regret me/I bent the truth too far tonight/I was dancing around, dancing around it/High infidelity/Put on your headphones and burn my city/Your picket fence is sharp as knives…/…Storm coming, good husband/Bad omen/Dragged my feet right down the aisle/At the house lonely, good money/I’d pay if you’d just know me/Seemed like the right thing at the time…/…I didn’t know you were keeping count/But oh, you were keeping count
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1557988314539993
Mother’s reaction to coming out
Sweet Nothing
They said the end is coming/Everyone’s up to something/I find myself running home to your sweet nothings/Outside, they’re push and shoving/You’re in the kitchen humming/All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing/On the way home/I wrote a poem/You say, “What a mind”/This happens all the time…/…To you, I can admit that I’m just too soft for all of it…/…You’re in the kitchen humming (you’re in the kitchen humming)/… All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing
Paris
…I’m so in love that I might stop breathing/Drew a map on your bedroom ceiling/No, I didn’t see the news/‘Cause we were somewhere else/Stumbled down pretend alleyways/Cheap wine, make believe it’s champagne/I was taken by the view/Like we were in Paris/Like we were somewhere else/Privacy sign on the door/And on my page and on the whole world/Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours/Levitate above all the messes made/Sip quiet by my side in the shade/And not the kind that’s thrown/I mean, the kind under where a tree has grown…/…I wanna transport you/To somewhere the culture’s clever/Confess my truth/In swooping, sloping, cursive letters/Let the only flashing lights be the tower at midnight/In my mind
I’m going to try to chunk this one into very small bites so you can get to the end 🙂
The connection between the song and my research snippets will become more and more apparent with each post.
Paris
…I’m so in love that I might stop breathing/Drew a map on your bedroom ceiling/No, I didn’t see the news/‘Cause we were somewhere else/Stumbled down pretend alleyways/Cheap wine, make believe it’s champagne/I was taken by the view/Like we were in Paris/Like we were somewhere else/Privacy sign on the door/And on my page and on the whole world/Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours/Levitate above all the messes made/Sip quiet by my side in the shade/And not the kind that’s thrown/I mean, the kind under where a tree has grown…/…I wanna transport you/To somewhere the culture’s clever/Confess my truth/In swooping, sloping, cursive letters/Let the only flashing lights be the tower at midnight/In my mind
I might do a part 2, as I found another very interesting source. Will alll the new songs coming out (heh) we’ll see what I do.
Bigger than the Whole Sky
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye/You were bigger than the whole sky/You were more than just a short time/And I’ve got a lot to pine about/I’ve got a lot to live without/I’m never gonna meet/What could’ve been, would’ve been/What should’ve been you/What could’ve been, would’ve been you…/…Every single thing to come has turned into ashes/’Cause it’s all over, it’s not meant to be/So I’ll say words I don’t believe
Grieving giving up her opportunity to come out, missing the (queer) person she might have been.
***Trigger Warning***
conversion therapy
Though this is very bleak, we’re going to end on a lighter, more hopeful note:
The Great War
My knuckles were bruised like violets/Sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep-talked/Spineless in my tomb of silence/Tore your banners down, took the battle underground/And maybe it was ego swinging/Maybe it was her/Flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur/All that bloodshed, crimson clover…/…You drew up some good faith treaties/I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone/You said I have to trust more freely/But diesel is desire, you were playin’ with fire/And maybe it’s the past that’s talkin’/Screamin’ from the crypt/Tellin’ me to punish you for things you never did/So I justified it/All that bloodshed, crimson clover/Uh-huh, the bombs were close and/My hand was the one you reached for/All throughout the Great War/Always remember/Uh-huh, the burning embers/I vowed not to fight anymore/If we survived the Great War/It turned into something bigger/Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I’d been betrayed/Your finger on my hair pin triggers/Soldier down on that icy ground/Looked up at me with honor and truth/Broken and blue, so I called off the troops/That was the night I nearly lost you/I really thought I lost you/We can plant a memory garden/Say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair/There’s no morning glory, it was war, it wasn’t fair/And we will never go back/To that bloodshed, crimson clover/Uh-huh, the worst was over…/…Always remember/Uh-huh, we’re burned for better/I vowed I would always be yours/’Cause we survived the Great War
***Trigger Warning***
suicide
Sources:
Kit10Phish Explains it all __has moved! https://tinyurl.com/bdad9vdm 
Catty Remarks