Tag Archives: women

Trump Terror

11 Nov

I was actually happy when Trump got the Republican nomination.  I thought Jeb Bush, with his family-backing, and Texas oil money, and far-right support was more of a threat.  I highly doubted anyone would take Donald Trump seriously.  I mean, all he had going for him was money and trash-talk!  I felt voting for him was akin to voting for a Kardashian.  They’re in the same camp–you know their names from the stupid stuff they say and do on television, but you don’look to them for any serious leadership.

And I knew if nobody took Trump seriously (because HOW could they!!!) that whatever democrat was running would be a shoe-in.  I wasn’t sad to see it was Hillary.  I had actually voted for her over Obama in the primary that first time around when she ran.  I knew her face, thought she worked really hard as Secretary of State, and yeah–I wanted a woman in the White House.

But I thought women’s rights were farther ahead than they actually are.  I really think if Hillary were a man, things would have played out differently.  It would have been an EQUAL assessment of two candidates.  Not just a singular attack on one and blind-spot toward the other.  They would have dug into her dirty laundry–sure–that’s part of the political game these days.  And believe me, they ALL have their share of dirty laundry.  The political machine is so caught up in money now, that ALL candidates that make it to a certain lever most certainly made back room deals to get funded.  They all owe somebody.  Every politician has to water down a certain policy they care about, because a special interest group contributed to their campaign.

That makes them all lairs.  They all manipulate.  Every politician is shady.  I expect it.

But they would have used the bad stuff to equal disadvantage, apples-to-apples.  They didn’t.  When people called Hillary a liar, I was like–yeah.  Of course.  But what I didn’t expect was to people to hold that against Hillary in a militant way, when they didn’t hold the male politician to the same standard.  I would challenge that every accusation, every piece of dirty laundry found on Hillary was used against her in a more drastic way then it is used against any man that has run or held office.  People were a LOT harsher on Clinton then they’ve been on most males in politics.

The patriarchal double-standard reared it’s ugly head.

Even so, I didn’t think the country would go for Donald Trump.  How could they?  He is a caricature.  He’s all fluff and propaganda, and realty TV!  He has no political experience, no solid policy ideas, only hateful sound-bites.  His business dealings were murky.  The guy claimed bankruptcy and didn’t pay taxes.  He wavered on issues, and lost all three debates.  His supporters were the trashiest, most backward, belligerents in the country.  He got caught candidly admitting his penchant for sexual abuse.  Americans would not get behind any of that.  We might like to see the train wreck on TV, but we expect more decorum and have higher standards for our president.

The leader of our country–the leader of the world.

I was in absolute shock when we didn’t.

This week was difficult.  I felt suddenly scared and alone.  I knew every person from my small town voted republican.  I felt since Trump is against many of the minority groups I belong to (women-in social standing, impoverished, gays) that my Utah work managers were also.  My hometown was also.  My Facebook friends were also.  My parents were also.  I was suddenly marginalized.  Cowering at the fringes.

And my groups are actually dominant groups OF the marginalized groups.  The illegals, people of color, transsexuals, Muslims–all have it way worse.  If I felt scared and alone, how must THEY feel???

I saw many Trump supporters come across my Facebook feed.  And they shut-down dissent by telling anyone liberal or sorry about the win to “get over it.”  They discounted their opinions, silencing their views.  I try not to make waves on Facebook.  Or at work.  I know I am more progressive then my small-town peers.  I understand I have lived in more states, have more education, watch documentaries and learn about issues.  I’m a moderate, but a progressive one.  That sets me apart from most loud political views.  I get that people that just don’t know, don’t necessarily hate, but they are ignorant.  I can let some things go.  And I am usually quiet.  I scroll past the politics that are opposite to my views, the hate-memes, and ignorance.  Because these people are family.  Or they are my past.  I grew up and went through every year of schooling from kindergarten to senior year with some of these people–it’s just not worth it.

But when people started hassling Cool on her Facebook page, I stopped to think.  She was upset and posted why.  People wrote long diatribes, personally attacking her.  People told her to shut up about it.  People said to “move on.”  And in a society that just accepted what Trump stands for, and voted him in the highest office–I decided we could no longer afford apathy.

A lot of the reason he got voted in was because people didn’t like either candidate so they didn’t vote.  A whole, big section of youth, and moderates, and democrats just didn’t vote.  Which left privileged people to make our decisions.  People whose lives look nothing like mine.  People who don’t have the same problems and worries as me (or other marginalized groups).  It made me think a lot of that Holocaust quote, which I will not directly quote (because I’m too lazy to go search for it, and I already have more tabs open then I like) so I will sum the sentiment up:  They took the criminals, and I was not a criminal so I didn’t say anything.  They took the gypsies, and I was not a gypsy so I didn’t say anything.  They took the Jews and I was not a Jew so I didn’t say anything.  So when they came for me–there was nobody to speak for me.

We always have to remember how the Holocaust started so nothing even remotely similar can repeat itself.  It’s not just about some tyrant stealing power–it’s the apathy and silence from the real majority that allows that to happen.

And Cool and I spent a very large part of the year watching WWII (and everything around the periphery of that) shows, interviews, and documentaries.  I know what apathy can lead to, I know how things got started in Germany back then.  So I felt motivated to stand up where I could in my own life.  I made a new policy that I would not be silenced by the privileged few.  I would not stand down as a woman.  I will not hide as a gay.  I will not let my poverty minimize my power.  And I wouldn’t stand by and say nothing when others were hassled–not anymore.  I will act with integrity and stand for what I believe in.  Even if it causes confrontation.  I will deliberately show my ethics and speak my morals.  I have to counter the negativity and hate that was just sanctioned by a vocal majority by stopping the silence and apathy.  First in my own life, then maybe even on a larger scale.

Here’s what I wrote to Cool (and her frenemies on Facebook):

hypocracy

 

And I wrote to her (and those frenemies of hers):

“Words of wisdom: I will not be shut-down or silenced. I will continue to voice my ethics and let my values guide my actions. Hate has no place here. Don’t let societal pressures make you falter. Speak your mind. Speak your truth.”

Because right now it’s super-important for all those just marginalized by the ignorants and the haters to have a voice.  Remind people we’re here and we’re just as valid.  And we have dreams, hopes, and rights.  We deserve an equal chance.  We deserve respect.  That dissent is not unpatriotic.  To speak out for injustice is as American as you can get.  It’s what this country was built on.

I also got brave and wrote from my heart on my own Facebook page.  Knowing I was outnumbered by right-wingers.  Knowing there was hate for my groups just under the surface.

“I try to keep politics off my page. Nobody really wants to hear it–you’re not changing anyone’s mind. And I don’t identify with either party. I think with all the money, and lobbyists, and Super-PACS all candidates that make it that far have to be corrupt just to be in the game. But I am in shock and dismay.

For me, this 2016 election result is not about red or blue, winning or losing, it’s about standing for my values, and modeling my ethics. I will not be shut-down and I will not falter in defending my morals for fear of antagonism. It’s not about, “move on, get over it.” Trump’s values do not align with mine. And friends/family I hope I know you well enough that Trump’s quotes/feelings are not in your heart either.
This is a country of immigrants, mentally ill, minorities, women, gays, impoverished, of “other.” Big-Money shouldn’t have the largest and last say in all matters. As a proud American I recognize how fortunate I am to be born here and at the status that I hold. But that’s all it was–luck, completely out of my control. I will raise my voice to defend the little people– outsiders like myself–because that’s the kind of person I am.
If you can’t respect that, if you are ignorant to the sentiment of this message–mostly I feel sorry for you. And a little afraid. For myself, for the others like me, for this great country, and for you. God bless, and may the universe be kind to you and yours.”
I was disappointed I only got 3 likes and one comment–none of those from family.  So the fears and isolation are real.  Those people on my Facebook WOULD turn against me.  I have to watch my mouth and watch my back.
But I will not be silenced.  I will not go down without a fight.
I took my new personal-policy of not being silenced to my job yesterday.  Crissy bought us ice cream.  She got 4 different flavors of candy bars.  Derick the Douche loves Reese’s PB cups best, so she specifically got ice cream in that flavor for him.  He claimed it before he saw it.  The rest of us decided which flavors we wanted.  Derick then saw the ice cream, and saw his flavor was smaller then the rest.  He said he wanted oreo instead (it was the biggest).  But an Indian gal had already picked that one out.  White, male, privileged, dominant Derick the Douche wanted it, and pushed for it.  She conceded.  I spoke up–“No Siama already chose that one.”  And I like PB, and didn’t particularly care which ice cream flavor I ate (I love ALL ice cream!) so I told him to take the Twix one I had picked.  He pouted and tried to take hers anyway.  I put my foot down.  Which, I never would have done before.  He’s always that way.  It was none of my business.  But under my new policy, I was not going to stand by and let him bully a minority and take the (perceived) better ice cream away from her.
I used my policy a second time in the same night.  A chronically slow, co-worker, who is always late, always lagging on his buckets, and actually disallowed to do basic tasks because he messes up, ruffled my feathers.  I always do the document imaging at work.  My co-workers don’t like to.  Everyone is supposed to do it.  We even have it assigned to a certain color.  But I do the lions share-no matter what color I am assigned.  Night after night.  Because I am a hard worker.  I’m motivated.  And it needs to be done.  I’ll do the scanning–ALL of the scanning.  Night after night, month after month, year after year-I do the majority of the scanning.  To the point, they don’t even know HOW, some of them, including the boy in this story.
For once, Crissy (who is just a sub and usually doesn’t work) was helping with the scanning.  She got stuck and didn’t know what had gone wrong, and this kid (Josh) was near so went over to help her.  But since he never scans, didn’t know how.  And they all just KNOW that I’m the scanning bitch at work.  In an accusatory tone, he called my name–like ‘YOU fucked this up, now come over and fix your mistake so Crissy can finish our work.’  That’s what his tone and body language said.  And he’s used that tone on me before.  Usually I let it go to keep the peace.  Even though it’s a totally inappropriate tone for work, and completely condescending.  I usually let it go.  Even though it makes me mad and makes me feel ‘less than’ I let it go.
But last night I called him out on it.  I said, “Are you asking for my help or accusing me of something?”  And he still looked agitated and a little hostile toward me so I continued, “You don’t need to use that accusatory tone on anyone at work–especially when you’re asking for their help.”  Turns out, I had not messed anything up.  But even if I had–so what?  And um–scanning is not MY job.  They are supposed to be doing their share and they never do–so don’t come accusing me of anything regarding scanning!  Anyway, Crissy had pressed something wrong, and it was no big deal, I simply showed her how to fix it, and we went on with work.  But my defense had made the kid mad.  He was storming around, slamming his stuff, and had a shitty demeanor for the rest of our shift.
But I wasn’t silenced.
And that felt good.  In a week where shock and horror ruled.  So I will continue on, living ethically, not hiding behind fear or apathy.  I will act with morality, defend those without a voice, and stand up for my beliefs–because they’re just as valid as Trumps, and those who voted for him.
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Valentine’s: No More!

13 Feb

I have written about how I loathe V-Day many, many years in a row now.  And honestly, if I haven’t convinced you the contrived holiday is a terrible thing by now, I’m just not going to.  I have approached the problem from every angle I can think of.  And with all sincerity, I tried to find a fresh one this year.  Which is why I only started writing this post on the 11th.  I just can’t think of new reasons not to participate.  So I’ll just reiterate points I’ve probably made before.  With an emphasis on non-participation.

 

YOU CAN’T ESCAPE IT.  As you know, my dear readers, I am not a fan of Valentine’s day—to say the least.  But it’s not the kind of “holiday” that can go ignored.  It’s thrown in your face.  Advertsements for chocolate, chocolate-covered strawberries, and jewlry are suddenly inescapable.  And I don’t even have television stations or listen to radio.  Still-pervasive.  Going into the stores—forget about it!  Pink and red are poking my eyes out.  Facebook—the zoos?? Have already started contests for couples.  And the resturants are gearing up for a big income night.  Even at work, they decorated the building with hearts—one with my name on it.  And you can’t say—don’t do that without looking like a total douche-bag.  I wish I could rip my heart off the door though!  Ugh, and the talk.  Everybody will talk about the big day.  The showing off about plans already starts.  Or the sad-sacks (because that’s the camp everyone else gets lumped into) whine about not having plans.

 

I didn’t know this before, but even the boys will take desperation dates in order to take advantage of lonely, stigmatized women.  They want the easy sex-opportunity:  Information courtesy of the boys at work. . .  And you can’t just say you don’t believe in the day, or try to ignore it, because you are then lumped into the bitter at being a sad-sack group.  Which isn’t right and it isn’t accurate.

 

It’s also awkward at work, because people suddenly ask you candidly about your relationship status.  For private people, people with complicated situations, or prople trying to have discretion (read—gays in Utah) this topic is frought with danger.  It’s rude not to answer.  It’s sketchy to be vaugue.  But sharing could yield judgment or consequences.  So there’s that. . .

 

Now let me try to find some sort of statistics of people that believe in or participate in Valentine’s day to see what everyone else feels.

Valentines Day Statistics

Statistic Verification
Source: Retail Advertising and Marketing Associatio, Valentine’s Day Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey
Research Date: January 24th, 2016
Valentine’s Day Statistics Data
Average annual Valentine’s Day spending $13,290,000,000
Number of Valentine’s Day cards exchanged annually 180 Million
Average number of roses produced for Valentine’s Day 198,000,000
Percent of Valentine’s Day cards bought by women 85 %
Percent of all flowers purchased by men 73 %
Percent of women who send themselves flowers on Valentine’s Day 14 %
Amount the average consumer spends on Valentine’s Day $116.21
Percent of consumers who celebrate Valentine’s Day 61.8 %
Percent of women who would end their relationship if they didn’t get something for Valentines day. 53 %
Average number of children conceived on Valentine’s day 11,000
Gifts Most Often Given on Valentines Day (Allowing for multiple gifts given) Data
Candy 47.5 %
Flowers 34.3 %
Cards 52.1 %
Jewelry 17.3 %
Dining / Eating Out 34.6 %
Clothing 14.4 %
Gift Cards 12.6 %
Other Gifts 11.2 %
Valentine Related Business Statistics
Number of locations producing chocolate and cocoa products 1,233
Number of people employed by the these establishments 38,794
Revenue of domestically cut flowers $403 Million
Number of florists nationwide 24,600
Number of people employed by florists 123,600
Number of jewelry stores in the U.S. 27,484
Annual revenue from jewelry stores $2.2 Billion
Relationship Statistics
Ratio of single men in their 20’s to single women in their 20’s 1.2 to 1
Ratio of sinlgle men 65 or older to single women 65 or older 0.33 to 1
Number of dating service establishments nationwide 904
Average number of marriages annually 2.16 million

“Crazy-Love” = RomCom

12 Jun

http://www.metafilter.com/62571/I-dont-want-no-more-of-this-Crazy-Love

-What’s missing from this unusual love story is love. Not once did I believe that Burt cared for Linda, the actual woman and not his idealized pin-up version. Linda was a victim of both a man and the times. Born in 1937, she came of age when women were expected to marry young and produce children. The police laughed at her when she was repeatedly harassed, and when Burt destroyed her pretty face, her marriage prospects dwindled to zero. The reconciliation with the man who maimed her was an act of survival.
-It seems unacceptable that someone should only receive 14 years for blinding and permanently disfiguring someone on purpose. Anyone who can convince themselves to do that is never going to be safe to have in society.
-If this strategy doesn’t work (as it shouldn’t) why perpetuate the myth that male violence towards women is merely misunderstood affection (and that the correct response to stalking/harassment is to embrace the stalker/harasser)?
-The day before the attack, in the face of several threats on the eve of her engagement to another man, Linda Riss called the police and begged for protection. Their failure to act resulted in Riss v. City of New York, a staple in Tort Law classes around the country. She lost and the case stands for the proposition that you can’t sue the police for failing to protect you unless they took some action or made some assurance that caused you to rely on their protection.
posted by Partial Law at 3:09 PM on July 2, 2007

-Partial Law – That of course, was addressed in VAWA, which created a private right of action when police departments failed to uphold their own orders of protection. This was then gutted by Castle Rock v. Gonzales, one of the many shameful decisions of the Rehnquist court and one of the most heartbreaking cases in a long-line of them.
-What a disgustingly misogynistic movie. This isn’t about a krrrazzzy kourtship, this is about a sociopath exploiting a woman in a scary manner. This isn’t “crazy love”, it’s about a subhuman asshole and the regrettable inequalities that facilitate his exploitations. This story isn’t unique or unfathomable, it’s going on everyday around the world. There is a woman in the US right now looking the other way while her live-in boyfriend molests her children. There is a woman in the Middle East right now marrying the man who raped her because her “purity” is gone. A woman in Indonesia is staunchly defending her drunken husband who beats her weekly. And on and on.
-In my opinion, he is Narcissistic Personality Disordered (NPD) with some BPD stalker traits. And she is Histrionic Personality Disordered (HPD).

“The essential feature of the histrionic personality disorder is a pervasive and excessive pattern of emotionality and attention-seeking behavior. These individuals are lively, dramatic, enthusiastic, and flirtatious. They may be inappropriately sexually provocative, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and be easily influenced by others.

“Women with HPD are described as self-centered, self-indulgent, and intensely dependent on others. They are emotionally labile and cling to others in the context of immature relationships. Females with HPD over identify with others; they project their own unrealistic, fantasied intentions onto people with whom they are involved. They are emotionally shallow and have difficulty understanding others or themselves in any depth. Selection of marital or sexual partners is often highly inappropriate. Pathology increases with the level of intimacy in relationships.”
-As I said above, stalking and harassment is not “courting” behavior. These are tools of control and compulsion and future validation does not mean that they were ever acceptible. Were I to kidnap someone and hold her in my basement for years until she agreed to marry me, would that mean that my act of kidnapping was just extended courtship?

How Does One Person Promote the WNBA?

8 Mar

I’ve had just about enough of WordPress “Myspacing” my writing.  I just wrote a huge paragraph and when I pressed “save draft” it glitched out and erased my work-gah!

Storm-2010 WNBA champions

In honer of International Women’s Day I want to take action.  And I believe in the importance of the WNBA.  And the entertainment factor.  I want more merch availability, more money for advertising, more promotion in general, support from fans, and more teams–way more teams.

But what do I do?  Do I write to someone–who?  After reading a lot of internet articles, I felt more helpless then ever.  How do I–one fan with no money or connections–help a franchise?  The thought is there, but I ended up feeling like a failure, because I left my research with more questions then answers.

Even Chuck

As it is, I have been reading about some notable women in history.  I’ll share the articles with you, so I can at least do something today. . .

http://primajanetcollins.com/

https://www.nwhm.org/education-resources/biography/biographies/deborah-sampson/

http://lucyparsons.org/biography-iww.php

http://www.nytimes.com/2000/12/23/us/flo-kennedy-feminist-civil-rights-advocate-and-flamboyant-gadfly-is-dead-at-84.html

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/world/peopleevents/pande01.html

http://leanin.org/

https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/womenyoushouldhaveheardof

“Criminal Minds” is a Sausage-Fest

28 Oct

The show is centered around all the males, for sure.  They get the most time, have the best story lines, the most fleshed-out background stories.  They’re the ones most physically capable, leading the chase, and that are most clever.  It’s not right.  And I can see maybe adding some realism–because a lot of those jobs are a boys’ club, but c’mon this is ridiculous.

Elle never had a chance.  She barely got lines, let alone any central role.  Her character didn’t get a personality/backstory until they were in the process of writing her out of the show.  After Elle left, the writers made an “effort” to play up JJ and Garcia’s characters.  Which meant show JJ being a head-case over small town stuff, be a high-maintenance girlfriend, and of course, start a family.  Cause that’s what women are good for.

Garcia has fared somewhat better, at least getting to DO something important and crucial on the show.  Though the writers have taken pains to show she’s always on the sidelines, out of the main action, and too sensitive to handle the tough stuff.  Also, they make her quirky so much that it takes away any seriousness from what she does.  And they make sure to have her act unprofessional just to drive home that she doesn’t really belong.

Prentice got on the show, and got to chase the bad guys, but her character was never fleshed out either.  We never knew her story, never saw her personal life, and we never really got a feeling for who she was.  Until they began writing her out of the show.

They thought they could find a random blonde to fill in for JJ and Prentice when they tried to axe them both at the same time.  PS the audience doesn’t want a random piece of eye candy–we want balance.  And they never bothered to explain why she was staying with the team.  Externship?  Scholarship?  She was only there to help with 1 case.  Then she came on for a 2nd b/c they had written her sucking so much on the 1st.  But why did she keep coming back?  We never did find out.  And in real life it would probably be against the rules and a liability–not to mention impractical with a full course load and field training.  But whatever–she was blonde, right?  And to make it totally disgusting she was always making eyes at Rossi, at least 20 years her senior–which would be a major ethical dilemma for him.  So I’m glad that storyline never came to fruition. . .  And they made her bad-ass the first 4 seconds we met her–then never showed anything like that again.  They made her a crummy agent despite the power-house 1st scene.  The blonde never added anything–except bad acting to the show.  And just as suddenly as she was brought in to the show, she was removed, with barely an explanation.

And after the audience complained loudly, they brought back JJ and Prentice for season 7.  But at the end of season 7, suddenly Prentice was all–I don’t want to buy this house, and being with you guys never felt right from the beginning.  The producers apparently think we have severe memory loss.  Prentice worked her way into the BAU through her personal connections, she was almost killed multiple times and each time she said it’s still where she belonged.  When they tried to kill her off the first time, then she came back–the group was surprised.  But she said she came back because she belonged with BAU.  So this–it never felt right business is NOT going to fly with me!

What’s really happening is the show is still trying to save money, and of course they see the women as most expendable.  Rossi actually came on last, and the audience still doesn’t connect with him, but you don’t see HIS job constantly in perile.  The producers think that because they gave Hodge a GF suddenly, that it will be enough females.  Except they are wrong.  A fringe character, dependant on the role of the central male isn’t good enough.  The audience wants to see women in central roles, just as tough, smart, and integral to the show as all the men.  And a recurring (part-time) girlfriend with hardly any lines, let alone plot lines isn’t enough.

So despite enjoying the show, I hate the way the women are portrayed and I hate even more that the producers find them expendable.  Give us an equal amount of women that challenge and even exceed (sometimes) when the men on the show are capable of.  And stop making them whiny, head-cases with fringe parts, and are first-chopped.

Entitled Man

19 Sep

We had to pick a book in NeuroAnatomy for a series of assignments, and we all had to have different ones.

The prof. started the list around (with my row) and some guy in the back felt like he had the right to jump the line. Even though every single person in that class hoped for a specific book, the dude in the back row felt entitled to stand up, look for the sign up sheet, grab said sheet right out of my hands while I was in mid-word writing my choice, and pick his book! And he acted as if it was nothing new, different, or rude to be doing.

I think he felt this way because he’s male. I can tell you, not ONE of those gals in the class would cut in front of the others, physically take the paper, in order to get her first choice before anyone else.

I was disgusted. Other girls laughed. Entitled dude went to hand the page to the next person in line, and I reached for it, saying I was in the middle of writing. He looked at me surprised (though I don’t know what was so surprising to him) and like I was acting bitchy and he didn’t know why. . .  I don’t think it’s unreasonable to stand my ground.

I get tired of being pushed around and made to take up less space (at concerts) and relinquish my turn (sign up sheet) for others–usually men.

Gray Street

11 Jun

August 2011 116Well, gray part line. I’m totally preoccupied lately with these few gray strands of hair that are suddenly all too visible. I mean, for 5-6 years hairdressers have made little comments about my grays, but they were largely invisible to me. So I’m pretty sure, unless you got close in great light, the normal passerby couldn’t see them either.

I think it’s fair to say that I’ve become alarmed.  I honestly don’t think it’s attributed to a perception of aging of fading beauty or something like that either.  I consider myself a feminist, and I don’t think I’m especially superficial–as my monthly goal check in can attest.  I’m low-maintenance.  I guess that’s what disturbs me most about the gray–it requires upkeep.  I’m panicking because obviously, at 30 I’m not ready to go natural and sport gray streaks or worse–the patches I think I have.

Every time I stand in front of the mirror, I can see gray hairs sticking up from the back of my side part.  And I can sort of tell they are in fact gray, because they are much coarser then my fine regularly-hued hair.  And naturally, they stick straight up–what else would they do?  I started by trying to pull the little mo-fos out.  Despite seeing them very clearly at a glance in the mirror, I can hardly crane around to actually remove them.  They are situated just far enough back that I can’t see the whole situation very well or in much detail.  And have you ever noticed that ANY single strand of hair looks remarkably gray?  So I sit there ripping chunks of my hair out, and I’m pretty sure I’m mostly ripping out ones with color.  But as I stand there scrutinizing them one by one after they’ve been pulled it’s hard to tell.  Goose thinks I’m crazy.  Even a maine coon has no idea why you would stand there pulling out pieces of hair. . .  So add baldness to my hair problems.

BUT, I absolutely have no funds to pay salon prices right now–and I find 3 hours in a chair tedious.

But I’ve heard really bad things about box dye, and don’t want to ruin my hair either.  And I’m not confident I would be JAEDAable to pull off a nice-looking dye job.  It would be just my luck to do some whacked-out color job, then get a job interview.  Not only that I wouldn’t know where to start.  How does the procedure work?  What color would I even go with?  Most of those don’t look very natural, and I am just starting to embrace my hair’s natural color (when it has pigment).

So I’m really bummed out and confused about what to do.