We talked about RomComs and the subtle ways they show who deserves to be loved by society’s standards. While romcoms show who deserves to be loved, horror movies show who deserves to survive (and who should be punished).
It’s no wonder that many antagonists are either male or male coded while the main target in their pathway is a woman or girl. Most slashers’ general framing is about a woman’s fear, loss, and suffering. It’s an unfortunate reflection of the horrors women face in society.
Women See Themselves in Horror Movies:
Women often find ourselves in real-life situations where we lack agency or fear for our safety. We have to quell our actions and responses. We don’t want to evoke the wrath of a potentially dangerous man, many of whom seem to appear out of thin air. When we “run for help,” we are labeled hysterical and easily dismissed until the violence sharply escalates.
This gaslighting is the crux of many slasher narratives. People start going mysteriously missing as the killer picks them off. Someone (usually a woman) points out that something isn’t right only to be met with derision. A disturbing amount of men use those social politics to their advantage. They hurt women and girls because of their sense of entitlement and superiority… and they can get away with it. And women have encountered these types of men at the grocery store, the workplace, the nightclub, and sometimes in our own homes. According to Clover, slasher films let us experience this unthinkable evil through aligning with the survivor.
Horror has never shied away from metaphors and commentary about social issues and that isn’t a bad thing. But it becomes a problem when stories center women and they are not directly involved in crafting them. Those elements can easily get lost in the need to show women partially naked and/or enduring much strife before their brutal demise.
On the surface, the idea of a strong female protagonist who outsmarts and escapes the antagonist all on her own seems like an inspiring empowering story.
However, there are a few traits in every final girl that point to an unhealthy form of women empowerment. These films seem to have decided what is a pure, respectable, and smart woman.
The most compelling trait is that every final girl is a virgin. Although the girls and other teens around them engage in sexual acts, she refrains even if she has a boyfriend. She is also socially awkward which leads to her not partaking in any parties where there can be drugs or alcohol. This leads her to be clear-headed and ready to fight.
These traits point to an undercover harm being done to this seemingly innocent trope.
It’s a morality tale-
“There are deniers who say these tropes are not harmful but they are. Women are portrayed this way because our society has always put women at the bottom. It is how society keeps women down.
Now, don’t come for me. It’s one thing to call-out anorexia in a mean, disparaging body-shaming way, and another to have both eyes and concern. NOT mentioning the elephant in the room is stigmatizing. Personal opinion of weight aside, Olivia herself says she struggles with self-image.
Pale and sallow complexion: A reduced intake of crucial nutrients like iron and B vitamins can result in anaemia, which manifests as a pale and sallow complexion. Iron is essential for producing haemoglobin, a protein transporting oxygen throughout the body. When iron levels are insufficient, the skin’s oxygen supply diminishes, leading to a lack of colour and vitality in the complexion.
Olivia says, “I see you everywhere” and I think she’s talking about strict societal beauty expectations/examples. So we’re going on a side journey:
I know the BMI chart is controversial. We could argue the pros and cons all day and really waylay this post, but that’s for a different day. I’m using it as a way to standardize different height/weights. Also, I’m not trying to shame anybody on either end of the spectrum, or in the middle, so just be aware of random article snark. Thirdly, I’m also using random Google height/weight info so take the accuracy with a grain of salt. I’m trying to compare apples to apples and give some sort of reference point for celebrity/model BMI and thus all of us. The point is, women (and men in a different way, also to be discussed on another day) are held to impossible beauty/body standards, and have been throughout the decades.
1910 The ideal female form is depicted as a tall and slender woman. She has a voluptuous bust and wide hips, exaggerated by way of corseting. Women of the Edwardian Era used Belladonna, a highly poisonous and even lethal plant, drops to make their pupils dilate, making the women look aroused (I’m not making this up, promise). They have also smeared their faces with lead cream to make them look pale.
1920s Flapper
The female form changed in this decade from exaggeratedly feminine to exaggeratedly boyish. Androgyny is the look of the day, short hair, bras tightened to flatten girls chests, dieting and exercise.
1930s/1940s = war and depression
Short hair remained but skirts became longer and showed off natural waists without corsets. Emphasized shoulder width was common with a trend towards practicality lead by war rationing, un-elaborate jackets and simple blouses.
1950s Post-War
The hourglass figure returned and women aimed to become more feminine and curvy. With an end to rationing, women were able to get the glamour model look. Taking full advantage of the latest beauty products, women of this era never left home without looking perfect.
The Sexual Revolution 1960s
The sexual revolution brought back two separate trends. The start of the 60s the super skinny look; the thin androgyny of the flapper returned with an almost pre-pubescent appearance. The end of the 60s however brought back the fuller figured woman with the long straight hair of the Hippy era.
1970s Thin is In
Thin won out and the 70s were the start of the dangerous slimming culture. Long hair became common and minimal make-up made for a natural look.
Fitness reigned in the 80s
Women preferred a toned rather than muscular body and aerobic exercise was part of a woman’s daily life. Women need to be slender, toned and tall.
A lot of the women in all of these decades had body dysmorphia and eating disorders (many told later in life, after their peak fame). I think it’s particularly interesting to look at poster-gal for the modern fitness movement, Jane Fonda:
It just goes to show what you see on the surface is not necessarily the reality of the situation. Jane Fonda looked like she had it all, while she was secretly suffering. I think it shows the audience to view these perfect images and celebrity personas through a critical lens [critical as in skeptical, or as in we don’t know the whole context] before we fashion our bodies and lives after the unattainable capitalistic images we are sold.
Baywatch 1990s
The ideal female figure became even more exaggerated in TV and film.
Heroin Chic
Models became more and more waif like and moved from slender to boney.
Kate Moss – BMI 16.0
Calista Flockhart – BMI 15.6
Remember how scandalized people were about how “voluptuous” J-Lo was??!
Men face different pressures.
As you can see, they are not usually as thin as women:
but their bodies are required to have unrealistic muscle mass.
Size Zero 2000s
Keira Knightley – 17.2
Twenty years ago models weighed, on average, 8% less than the average American, but now weigh 23% less.
Miley Cyrus – BMI 18.4
Today, the average woman has a Body Mass Index (BMI) of 26-28
whereas models range from 15-16, which is dangerously underweight.
Celebrities are slightly better than models with an average of 17-20, a borderline healthy BMI.
OF COURSE a teenage girl would be inundated with images of unattainable perfection. Especially those trying to make it in the industry. It’s not surprising at all that Olivia might interpret every celebrity she saw as feminine, thin, and beautiful and desire that for herself. Sidenote- we are ALL bombarded by these images and have a lot of un-learning to do.
And I think that’s exactly who the Lacy in the song is- Olivia’s own negative self-talk. The voice telling her she’s not good enough.
Lacy = The romanticized, coveted image of perfection that this patriarchal society lionizes.
That Olivia manifests.
Look at the lyrics again through that lens and tell me what you think in the comments!
Like turkey on Thanksgiving, and green beer on March 17, romantic comedies go together with Valentine’s Day.
Before we look at how popular romantic comedies are for Valentine’s Day viewing, and how much those films have made (on Valentine’s Day) check out the rest of the Valentines series:
Rom-coms remain a constant in the lives of many girls and women. Those easygoing, light-hearted stories could became a routine comfort watch in any context: Mom-and-daughter dates, Caturday Netflix and chill, “sick day” movie marathons, slumber party entertainment, girls night out to the theater, first date movie, dorm group activity, long trip boredom killers, or VALENTINE’S DAY— you name it. Romcoms have the fashion, the hot cast, and the Disney romance with happy ending.
But aside from the sentimentality and habit of it all, romcoms are comforting at an endocrine level:
We talked about how many of these movies were made and how much money they made. How romcoms are a staple in many people’s lives, and younger people, especially, are known to consume tons of these films. We went over how the movies follow a certain script and elicit an emotional response. Is knowing that romcoms are unrealistic a barrier against absorbing the messages within the films?
Example: The brain changes in structure and function to accommodate frequent input (such as learning an instrument).
The more the brain processes say, playing the violin, the more it prioritizes the structures and functions needed to play the violin. More connections, stronger connections, faster connections.
Now add neuroplasticity to general societal attitudes and positive and negative reinforcement, and you’ll see that watching romcoms IS learning. And what exactly is the viewer learning from these “chick flicks”?
When people pick out a romcom to watch, they want a happy love story. They don’t want to think or be challenged with tough history or divergent life experiences. They don’t want to have questions running through their minds while trying to relax into the film.
Add to that, the majority of Hollywood power players are white males. [Gay activists say a there’s a strong undercurrent of homophobia in the movie community that has caused many homosexual executives to remain in the closet, and actors of both sexual orientations to shun overtly gay roles for fear of hurting their careers.] Stories created by any other type of person don’t make it very far, because movie financing is tricky, and decision-makers are risk-averse. Appealing to the largest (paying) demographic is safe. Doing what has been successful before is more certain. Thus, the genre is formulaic: Man + Woman (both cis, straight, usually white, always conventionally attractive) have a series of miscommunications leading to a heteronormative romance and happily ever after (that 1950s $hit, if you will).
Other races, ethnicities, sexualities, and lifestyles are portrayed at a superficial level and stereotypical manner, if they are shown at all:
Black Women-
Example: 10 Things I Hate About You
Black Men-
The villainous stereotype will hopefully become an endangered species in Hollywood. POC have already made it quite clear that they are fed up with appearing in movies as muggers, pimps and other disreputable characters. Arab Americans say they are sick of being typecast as terrorists. And Native Americans have had it with being portrayed as brutish scalp-craving savages (played by Hispanic or brown-face actors).
Now gay activists are taking to the streets to decry the growing number of movies that, they say, are stereotyping them. Activists have successfully forced their concerns about gay images in the movies out into the open. They argue that all the onscreen mayhem is inciting real-life violence against members of their community. A five-city survey conducted by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Policy Institute reports a 31% increase in gay-bashing incidents, including a jump in the number of anti-gay murders to eight, from three in 1990.
Gay Men-
With few exceptions, the homosexual characters in movies are campy caricatures like the ultra-fey wedding consultant played by Martin Short in Father of the Bride. The issue with LGBTQ+ characters in such movies is that they are rarely multi-faceted characters with well-thought-out backstories. Instead, their sole personality trait is their sexuality, and every action they take — from the outfit they wear to the discussions they engage in — mirrors and further pushes an outdated ideology about LGBTQ+ people that is ridden with harmful stereotypes. From the “Kissing Booth” and “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” series to movies such as “Prom,” which received scathing reviews for its flamboyant, stereotype-reliant characters, one thing is becoming increasingly clear: token LGBTQ+ characters that can be counted on one hand are not and will never be a stand-in for movies displaying real, authentic, joyous, and long overdue LGBTQ+ love.
Lesbians-
Rarely included. Sometimes the funny best friend. If it’s a supposedly sapphic plot, it focuses on the struggle of being WLW, and rather than a lighthearted love story we get yearning, so much yearning!
The bulk of lesbian characters are usually portrayed incorrectly, falling victim to stereotypes such as Big Boo on Orange is the New Black. That character isn’t an exception to the rule, she’s just a more fleshed out version of the same old predatorial butch stereotype. On the other side of the coin (wait that sounds like 50:50 representation, more like the other 98% of the time) lesbian characters are objectified. They are conventionally pretty, feminine with long hair, soft features and girlfriends who carry a similar aesthetic. It can feel as though they were created for the male gaze or to satisfy some kind of sexual fantasy for the audience.
Butch (actually butch) lesbians are largely still MIA. They’re treated either as the anti-sex symbol, or just like guys. Julie said, “I do think that’s the problem with butch lesbians-people see them like men so why would you give a part to a butch lesbian when you could just have a man do it?”
Bisexuals-
Portrayed as basically an edgy or quirky straight lady. Conventionally attractive, read: White, thin, but maybe brunette hair instead of blonde. She dips her toe (ha! let’s leave it at that for the purpose of this post) in sapphic waters, but the film will treat it as a confused, flaky anomaly, not a fully formed sexuality. And of course, by the end of the movie this bisexual character usually gets her $hit together, reforms [film’s vibe, not my sentiment] and ends up with a man.
Trans-
Excluded altogether, or allegorical (think Pretty Women with a shameful secret to change and hide), or worse, cross-dressing comedic relief.
Some small films are being made and released independently. But industry insiders attribute the dearth of mainstream LGBTQ films to the fact that movies with those themes don’t do well commercially. Joel Schumacher, director of Flatliners and Dying Young says, “The business doesn’t care what you do in bed, but it does care what you do at the box office.”
So you see, the comfortable storylines in romcoms are excluding and “othering” identities that do not align.
But this is WOMEN’s genre-hello, “chick flick” ! Girls and Ladies are the biggest consumers. Females star in the movie, their stories are centered, many of these characters are independent and successful, and they end up happy.
But even then, it’s not what it seems. Women are portrayed in a flat, binary way: There’s the desperate to find a man type of gal or the serious, un-fun workaholic that isn’t desirable or right for a man.
Femininity is a highly prescribed, oft deal breaking affliction. Too much is desperate, uncool, and undesirable. Too little is icy, intimidating, and ugly. The woman at the beginning of the film must change in order to secure the man. The woman at the end of the movie in more palatable and agreeable (to men). These movies are a roadmap for how real life women should act (if they want to get a guy).
Too Feminine-
Example: 10 Things I Hate About You:
[I’m really not picking on this movie specifically, it just works well for many of these points]
Not Feminine Enough-
All too often, pop culture dictates that women must choose, and that “career” is the wrong choice. Society needs to remember that these options are not mutually exclusive, and that we can have both.
Despite actresses starring in “chick flicks” the power dynamics in romcoms are still skewed toward men:
Is she really the lead?
Employment-
Example: Bridget Jones’ Diary-
Age-
And this film phenomenon absolutely translates to real life:
These movies don’t just pigeonhole race, ethnicity, sexuality, and femininity.
Masculinity is very narrowly defined as well
Women, have you ever found yourself at a point where you sit and think, “Why aren’t all guys caring, romantic, falling in love with me, deliciously attractive, and willing to do anything for my love?” Are these movies messing with our perception of love and making our standards impossible for guys?
The lead man always has those same set of physical characteristics that we talked about above. But more than that, he has to change by the end of the movie as well. Almost every romcom transforms a grim, sloppy, selfish boy/man, who is anti-marriage or doesn’t know what he wants into the ultimate Greek god and perfect partner going out of his way to dote on his woman.
Another common theme in romcoms is the expectation that men are mind readers and know what the female lead wants and needs without her communicating those feelings. In 10 Things I Hate About You, Kat and Patrick never confess their feelings for one another until the very end. Kat writes a poem in class listing all of the things she hates about Patrick after they broke their relationship off due to Patrick not telling Kat how he feels. In these movies, men don’t want to be vulnerable and confess their feelings. Well, vulnerability must take place for romance because how else can your crush convey their feelings? Communication is necessary to move on and improve our relationships.
Romantic comedies have put men on this pedestal of who should be the “romantic one” in a relationship. A crucial part of every romcom is that all men will go out of their way to gain love. Romantic gestures, intimate gifts, and flying across the states to ask you to marry him are all tactics we have seen numerous times. Although some women would like to agree that a man should make the first move to be a romantic companion, women can too.
One Psychology Today article explains: Over time, we consciously and unconsciously internalize cultural norms, evaluating ourselves and others in comparison to them. Given this, it doesn’t seem like a stretch to assume watching hours and hours of romantic comedies may somehow reset some internal switch about the power disparity between, well, everyone except cis, straight white males. And maybe even our own self-esteem, expectations as women, career ambitions, or perception of what a relationship should look like.
A team at Heriot Watt University in Edinburgh studied the top 40 box office films released between 1995 and 2005, to establish common themes. The team produced a study in 2008. They asked hundreds of people to fill out a questionnaire to describe their beliefs and expectations when it came to relationships. The results showed that the fans of films such as You’ve Got Mail, The Wedding Planner, and While You Were Sleeping, frequently fail to communicate with their partners effectively. Many of them held the view that “if someone is meant for you, then they should know what you want without you needing to tell them.” Dr. Bjarne Holmes, a psychologist who led the research, told that Marriage counselor’s often meet with these people that have this mindset and also believe that sex should always be perfect. The team drew conclusions from the study suggesting that the popular media plays a role in putting these ideas in women minds.
Dr. Holmes expressed, “People feel like if their relationships are not like a Hollywood film, then it is not any good. Time and energy needs to be invested for it to work.”
RomCom Expectations can Increase Tolerance for Abuse
Consider How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, in whicha big-city magazine editor gets caught up in a “love competition” with the publication’s advertising executive, who is secretly in on the bet.
or You’ve Got Mail, where a local bookshop owner gets run out of business — but ultimately winds up with the businessman whose chain bookstore replaced her own.
OrNever Been Kissed, when a shy newspaper reporter poses as a student to get a second chance at high school, but falls in love with the English teacher who thinks she is just one of his students.
You’ll notice that these relationships are not equal. Some of these situations are just plain rude. Would you seriously consider a relationship with the man who ran you out of business? Some of these plot points are based on fireable or criminal offenses on the part of the men. It’s never okay to date your student, even if it turns out she’s of age. Men carry the upper hand in these films, whether through implied financial success (advertising or business executive), authority (English teacher to someone thought to be a student), or both, it’s sometimes subtle, but it’s there.
This absolutely impacts real life
Movies watched during an impressionable period can have a huge role in the misconceptions that girls (and boys) have when it comes to relationships. If a guy treats you poorly, he likes you. If you argue a lot with another person, it means you have chemistry. “No” just means she’s playing hard to get. You can see where this is headed, and it’s worth an entire post of it’s own.
The comforting feeling of sitting down to watch a romantic tear-jerker is something viewers hold dear, and Valentine’s Day is just a real life example of romcoms playing out. This is the IRL day that everything you’ve soaked up from romcom movies can come true! Researchers believe that the influence of Hollywood films is implanting a sense of “perfect” relationship within society and providing unrealistic expectations about romance. In the same way the porn industry might dictate a man’s expectations in bed (choking, rape fantasy, the money shot) [Sidenote: I’m not here to kink-shame, but at the same time I’m not sure women are driving these trends. “see yer therapist” as Joey from ‘I Think Not’ podcast would say]. Romcoms influence what women desire and expect on the day of romance.
But it’s time to be aware. A closer look at the problematic themes and toxic couples in “chick flicks” reveals the consistent trend in how minorities, women, men, and relationships are presented under Hollywood’s spotlight. While it’s one thing to know the films are unrealistic, and maybe even transition away from this genre (trust me, every genre has it’s problems and we’ll get to that) it’s harder to rewire an internal bias or learned behavior. It’s a good idea to make a conscious effort to notice some of the lingering after-effects that may result from years of exposure to this rom-com genre, and it’s real life iteration, Valentine’s Day.
What can I say–I enjoy research, and lyrical analysis, and I know my posts can get looooong. I decided to repost pieces to give a more bite sized chunk of information. I’m calling the series TS Snippets, because I couldn’t meld Swift into snippet without making it confusing.
Baby boy, boyish look, baby love, etc… Seem out of place for a grown-a$$ man, but Taylor routinely uses them in her songs.
I was inspired to write a poem about the “Fake People” as TLC would say. It’s not about one specific person. There are far too many fake bitches to write about just one-ha ha. This is more of a creative exercise than an attack on anyone. This would be better as a song, I think. As a matter of fact, think of this forward as a transition at a concert. Here is the explanation to my next song-yay! If only I had access to (or ability to play) the piano or guitar. Hold on–I do have access to (and ability to play) the flute. I won’t be held back! It will be a variation on “Ellie Come Home.” By the way, since I’m beginning my career as a faux-writer, are band names supposed to go in quotations? Gotta learn the basics, you know. Just read this while humming to get the true effect I’m trying to convey. Any song will do. Get ready for a new sound, people 😉
One more thing: Spacing on blogs sucks. Everytime there is an enter, it creates a double space. I had this written as poetry, you know, the whole 4 lines to a stanza (there’s some writing knowledge for ya–stanza) business. To compensate, I made each stanza a different color. Read on, that’s all you need to know.
You know how Earl has a karma list? I think I’m going to compile a pet-peeve list featuring my aphorisms. Sometimes I would just like to curse at people to infuse some sense into them. Irritation #268: Scrubs are supposed to be loose as a rule! Your ass has poked my eye out and it makes me want to shower you with imprecations.
It is the same old story–my apothegm: People buy their clothes too small. I am not sure which enervates me more, looking at it, or ranting about it. It is not optimal to buy the smallest size you can slither into, I cannot share this axiom enough. No one knows what size you are wearing, and God knows they make scrubs in huge sizes! You are supposed to be able to move in scrubs. Boys, this maxim is for you too–maybe even more so than for the ladies. I don’t wanna see that, as my postulate alludes to.
I would venture to postulate you are not clubbin’ or at the beach—buy scrubs that fit you properly!!! I do not know why this is such a common thing, but it saps my energy to see it and almost debilitates me to have to bring it up again and again. The self-evident truth is that scrubs are not meant to hug your curves, and I certainly should never see your thong in them! Let’s not even talk about crack *shudder* This premise holds true especially if you are a doctor [that’s who this post is about, P.S.]! It is in these instances I am most put-out and enfeebled–these types got into veterinary school over me! When I see idiots that made it in my dream career over me, I have so much anathema towards them. Be a professional—not a damn slut.
And if you are so pathetic that you feel good when some dirty old man oogles you, you need to get a damn life. You bring malediction to all women with an attitude (and low self-esteem) such as that. A dude would look at a toothless crack-whore if she was showing her ass. . . If I can tell you what color thong you’ve worn for the last week, your scrubs are too tight. C’mon people, is it THAT hard?!
You’ve heard all of my arguments against the vestige that is Valentine’s Day. I write the blog year after year, trying to convince my readers not to celebrate such a foolish relic of a day. . . Go back and read the yearly blog—the points are still valid.
Maybe you STILL love the day. You don’t care that’s it’s cliché’, trite, and shallow, you will celebrate anyway. Let me try a different angle. Valentine’s Day and other stupid holidays are bad for the environment! Here are some creative ideas to limit your environmental impact, not to mention get off of MY nerves.
You just finished slaughtering pine trees only to throw the remnants away in the post-Christmas cleaning frenzy—do you really need to kill flowers too?! All those overpriced roses? Yeah, you killed a plant to celebrate your love—not the coolest. Instead why don’t you GIVE a tree to your lover? If you don’t like that idea, you could PLANT a rose instead of giving a bouquet. Growing something is something you can both enjoy for years to come, and it benefits the environment. You could also put money towards the dwindling rainforest, plant something in a local park, or buy carbon emissions, though that’s kind of a cheater’s way of offsetting our pollution.
Chocolate, cards, candy, and other trace trinkets are (let’s face it) lame and cost a fortune. THIS is also the reason why Valentine’s Day is advertised and promoted so much. Do you even keep these remaining “treasures?” They also tend to come in plastic packaging that ends up in landfills and take eternity to break down. I suggest forgoing all of this crap—and plant a little herb or organic vegetable garden together. That’s more original, allows you two to spend quality time, and saves money in the long run. You may also yield some stellar eatings that last way beyond February. Cook a romantic meal from your garden, gasp, in April when we don’t have a “love holiday,” and all the expectations that go with it. To take it even further, take a quiet and romantic walk with your beau. Pick up trash along your path—you will feel much better than you would just by giving meaningless presents and dropping a fortune on an expensive dinner. Or at least make artwork or a scrapbook out of the friggin’ candy packaging and eat your damn leftovers from your hackneyed candle-lit dinner, sigh. . .
The worst of all? Stuffed animals and balloons! It’s horrible when you have to parade around with your stuff, trying to make everyone jealous and rub this horrible day in everyone’s faces. If your balloon flies off (maybe at the hands of an envious, single lady?) or after you’ve thrown it away, it is detrimental to the Earth. It can kill birds and whatever else. Awful! Instead of being obnoxious, why don’t you and your sweetie volunteer at a soup kitchen, senior citizen’s home, or a hospital. Besides being able to show your love to some REAL sad-sacks, you may even come to realize that Valentine’s Day is pretty superficial when you see some real NEED in the world.
All my ideas will really DO something for the Earth. An unintentional side-effect is the savings. These ideas are imaginative ways of spending time with your love, showing them you care, and on the cheap! It also is more original and meaningful and shows longevity and confidence in your relationship—which is what we’re really celebrating on the 14th isn’t it? Besides, all of MY ideas limit the loathsome, superficial, petty, excessive things about Valentines day. We ALL win!….
I wasn’t going to do this, but here goes my annual Valentine’s (a.k.a. the day girls are bitches) blog. I write one every year, and thought I would let it go this year. You’ve heard my case, after all, but after hearing the girls at work, I feel the need to reiterate it.
Number 1 problem: You think I’m writing this because I’m single and bitter. The fact you think that just shows how wack February 14th is.
What IS that anyway? Why is there one holiday that makes single people feel like losers??? People flaunt their “love” and fawning over each other in public, exchanging gifts, generally rubbing everyone else’s noses in their happiness—or feigned happiness as the case may be. . . If you really loved each other you wouldn’t need a holiday to pander to your significant other, lavishing each other with gifts and romance! You also wouldn’t need to make other people feel shitty about not having what you do. I am unconcerned about other people’s relationships, and do not know why they feel the need to brag about them on this day.
Yes, I’m single, but I’m certainly not bitter. I could be in a relationship if I wanted, but until I find someone up to my standards, I’m holding off—MY choice. I am unemotional about my single status on Valentine’s Day–does it really mattered if you’re coupled on this particular day of the year?! Not every single person is sad about being single! I remember some big downfalls of being part of a couple. There are pros and cons to each side.
I am also not writing this because I have never gotten anything special on V-Day. I have had good (typical) valentine’s days in the past. I have received roses, there were at least 3 years that I got stuffed animals, I have gotten countless cards, candy, and special dinners, AND someone even decorated my high school locker. It’s not that I just don’t get attention on the 14th. I hate the day because it’s stupid…..
And no, I wouldn’t change my tune if I was dating someone. I would still be stoic about participating in this phony event. I refuse to grovel at anyone’s feet because society and tradition ostracizes me if I chose not to. I would (and have) shun(ed) this “holiday” even if I was in a relationship. I remain stolid about the red and pink and don’t celebrate it on principal.
Number 2 problem: Hallmark is the only one who wins!
Does anyone even know why Valentine’s Day is a holiday in the first place? Don’t lie—you don’t. I find it appalling how lacking in sensitivity this day is. It takes absolutely no thought to carry out the traditions you’re told to on the 14th. Why are you shamelessly buying into the hype and spending (too much) money on all those stereotypical, thoughtless, cliché gifts? The price of roses gets jacked up sky high, restaurants have crazy reservation waits, and stores starting putting out their merchandise after New Years. This holiday is hardly about love—it’s about tired expectations and $$$!
Number 3 problem: Girls turn into bitches!
The whole holiday is squarely centered on the distaff’s side of things. Don’t tell me guys like this day. It isn’t FOR them. They are apathetic and indifferent to it, except for the fact their women require an overabundance of things. Guys are impassive about getting flowers or jewelry. There really isn’t a good Valentine’s Day gift for dudes. They would even pass on the food if it meant they didn’t have to jump through hoops every February. Guys have none of the benefit (face it, you’d probably sleep with him holiday or not) but all the work on Valentines day.
This holiday brings out the worst in females. I don’t hear anything but selfish, superficial, whiny speculation, then complaining. Guys can never do well enough! The girls want presents. More specifically, something expensive, preferably flowers (better be 12 long-stem roses) or jewelry. Let’s not kid ourselves—you want both, plus romance. Securing reservations at the best restaurant isn’t good enough—the guy better do something memorable and spectacular.
The guy will always fail. Of course he falls below these grand dreams—anyone would. After the big gift giving, the girl will bitch to her friends that it wasn’t good enough in some way. All the while parading the gift around—cause ANYTHING is better than being single. . .
Solution: I’m making my own holiday for February.
Being phlegmatic and trying to ignore this stupid day is not the answer. Valentine’s Day won’t soon die. I know, February kinda sucks, especially after all the big holidays have passed. There are no vernal signs of life and winter can be dreary. After the holidays and before the spring arrives, people need a little bright spot to look forward to. We just need some sort of celebration after Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years in the middle of the winter. I hear you. MY special day will mean no school or work, this fresh new theme will involve some sort of parade, drinking, and anyone who wants to participate—except bitches!….
Kit10Phish Explains it all __has moved! https://tinyurl.com/bdad9vdm 
Catty Remarks