Tag Archives: drunk

2 Nights of SEATS [post 1 of 4]

7 Sep

We looked forward to the Gorge all year, really.  Last year we saw 1 of the 3 shows (Sunday) from the lawn.  Sunday is a great vibe, and my favorite crowd.  A lot of the out of towners start home to make it back to work.  It’s also a really good crowd because travel, camping, partying, and carousing for a few days and nights prior, really does a lot to mellow everyone out.  a.k.a.–the fratty and crazy people act less douchi because they’re tired and hungover.  The downside to Sunday is the venue runs out of everything!  Which, they know DMB is all three days of the weekend, and they’ve been doing this for over ten years so you’d think they could have some numbers expectations and a little pre-planning, but noooo.  It was especially a problem for beer (in the past, when we drank) because all the good kraft beers were long gone by Sunday, and I hate fratty, cheap piss-water, and refuse to drink it.  And that makes sitting back in the grass with all the obnoxious weirdos difficult.  You have to have a buzz on to tolerate it at all.  SO this year we wanted to do it right and get seats.

But seats are expensive.  And tickets went on sale during my last week of work, when I had already quit my job, but before I had any new work (income) prospects.  And my hair gets too greasy to camp for multiple nights in a row without showers.  And with little sleep (camping conditions) I get crabby and Cool is completely non-functional.  So we planned to take Saturday (peak fratty audience day, peak attendance) off to relax.  And my parents bought me an early, early birthday present of one of the four tickets–meaning I could get closer seats, because I was only paying for half of the pair.  YAY!!!  And employed Cool got the others pair, which were slightly further back.  But let’s face it, even the farthest back seat in the venue is still a SEAT and still better than lawn.  So things worked out perfectly (for finances and sleep and showers).  More on this later.

20140829_155236

Sitting in SEATS is better for a number of reasons:

-weirdos are on the grass (I mean, they are insane:  bras and no shirt, hard-core making out, drunk, screaming, smoking, generally being super-annoying)

-it’s colder and more windy on the grass

-the grass is far, far away–even the jumbo-trons look small.  The (cell phone) pictures are teeny or with editing look pixelated and crummy.

-you do not have an assigned location of the grass = people get in your grill or sit/stand/dance immediately in front of you obscuring what little view you had.

-Since the bathrooms are in no way gated off, they’re inconvenient to get to, and get a lot more use a.k.a dirty–er.

What Went into SEATS at The Gorge:

We planned to have incentive/reward for no alcohol with actual seats at the Gorge in November

We saved our money to buy tickets since Christmas

We purchased our tickets in Feb

We planned our visit/shower/bed with Cool’s friend almost immediately after the tickets were purchased

We planned our food and bev all summer

We planned and made our poster all of August

We prepped everything for 2 weeks in advance

We got car chalk to feel cool during the drive and painted slogans on the windows–“Labor DAVE weekend!!!” “DMB or BUST” and “Brandi Carlile <3”

 

walk about day 2 001

This is the first semester at Riverpoint I’ve ever had class on Friday.  They used to only have courses Mon-Thurs, but last year the main campus in Pullman had issues with drinking and debauchery, so the WSU system put classes every day to break those party days up.

Which is irrelevant for our branch campus for many reasons:

-we are a medical campus (hello, hard-science students have to actually STUDY)

-being a branch campus, there are substantially less of us

-mainly older students attend Riverpoint (Juniors and up) so we’re generally not as adventurous/stupid

-there are no dorms/frats here

-the economy is $hitty = less restaurants/bars/clubs to be naughty

But they don’t care, it’s a WSU-wide thing, so I have to attend class (Neuroanatomy, unfortunately) Friday from 11-noon (late!).  It’s very inconvenient for me, and in the past would NEVER have worked with my Forster-fire Fridays.  Which was one of the 3 full days I worked consistently my whole duration of employment (Monday and Saturdays were the others).  It would have been awful if this had started ANY sooner then it did, I would have been forced to quit Cat’s Meow sooner, because getting rid of Fridays was not an option and leaving in the middle = impossible.  This year, I just had the concert to contend with, not work (thank God!).  As such, I skipped class for the first time in the 6 semesters I’ve been attending school here.  And normally, I would have felt guilty, worried about what I’d missed, and stress out more then it was worth–but I’m the new, relaxed version of me now.  So I skipped and had fun and tailgated as planned.

IMG_20120901_174716                                                                                                              pic from 2012, obviously

Speaking of Drinking–We Weren’t/Aren’t

I was a little concerned about not drinking.  At a concert(S).  That’s historically been a big part of the whole tradition, as well as a means to survive all the crowds, the dirty SaniHuts, and fratty D-Bags.  BUT we got the seats, and we found awesome machtail recipes and spent a week making them and froze them in water bottles so they would even be cold for tailgating.  And really, I didn’t miss drinking during tailgating or the concert at all.  Inside the venue, the Gorge must have contracted with Bud Light because that was the only beer we saw, and believe me I was not jealous or tempted by that.  Also, I had never previously realized that 99% of people at concerts are DRUNK.  Like acting obnoxious, smelling strongly of alcohol, slurring, staggering, some falling.  That was weird.  But being sober around it didn’t ruin my time at all.  And I didn’t feel inhibited about dancing or anything, because no one around us A)  mattered B) was aware enough to notice us C) was going to remember it.  Sobriety at concerts was just fine–a non-issue.  But only from SEATS.  I would have hated the shenanigans in the grass without something on board.

I was going to have a big master post, but changed my mind.  I know you guys wouldn’t read an entire looooong thing.  And also since I’m getting into the groove of school, work, and studying, posting multiple parts will help me give more (real) posts.

Standby for the story of Friday, coming next.

First Essays, Now Silence?

26 Jun

What a terrible blogger I am this summer!  In order to get back on track and get a current post published I’ll go to bullet points (in no particular order):

 

-Today I’m tired.  I think the activity of the previous week caught up to me finally.

-I found out that my boss is going on vacation over Labor Dave Weekend (when we have SEATS for Friday and Sunday) ampitheatre 3and she found someone else to house-sit for 15 days.  I’m disproportionately disappointed about that because it is excellent money, easy work, and access to satellite TV.  I s’pose it’s better because I’ll be in school by that time and have daily class, so the commute would have been awful annoying.

-We had a really great visit with my parents.   I think they had fun too.

-If you haven’t heard of the “30 minutes to fitness” series by Kathy Coffey-Meyer–check it out.  Immediately!  I have Dad's 70th B-day visit 014never, ever watched an exercise video that didn’t annoy me.  Whether it was a catch-phrase, overall phony/annoying bubbliness, too hard-core, too repetitive, bad music, there are a lot of workout video sins.  Coffey’s vids don’t have any of that irritating stuff.  And she’s feisty and funny and motivating at the same time.  We have weights, cardio-blast, and kickboxing and I really like them.  And my mom was a real good sport and fully participated in plyometrics, which is HARD.  And she did awesome.

-At Dad’s (70th!!!) birthday dinner, our “Day’s of Our Lives,” jeans-model look-alike waiter did a magic trick that each one of us loved.  And one we couldn’t find on the web for at least an hour–a real feat in today’s technology.

-speaking of technology, I am still not convinced that Apple and smart-phones make life any easier.  If they’re off, slow, unanswered, or whatever, they’re useless.  I was no worse off without any gadgets than anyone, and they were not helped all that much.  I think it has more to do with status than anything.

-The kitties were as big and brave as they could be with frequent company on our apartment.  And Choco-Luv doesn’t EZ123 3rd snowboard 022have the herp (knock on wood)!  They are glued to my sides today though–with all the running around, I think they missed us.

-My parents gave me the most beautiful beadwork barrettes from various reservations along their route.  And my mom got beadwork from each place they stopped, which I am very envious of–and excited to inherit one day.

-I saw my former advisor in the hallway today, and she only managed to choke out a very obligatory “hello how was your summer?”  Lame.  And I’m so over that attitude from people at my school.  I am an awesome student and an asset to the program–she/they need to get a grip and grow up.  I’m not sure why she doesn’t like me, but she needs to act as a professional, because I shouldn’t even know she doesn’t. . .

-My aunt got super-sloppy at the extended family gathering, and was generally negative, complainy, passive-aggressive, and unwilling to exercise the whole duration of company.  But at least now everyone sees what I’m saying.  Maybe they thought I was exaggerating or a drama queen before???

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA-I was asked to do a presentation about the speech and hearing sciences for Native American teens ages 15-17.  It’s a group close to my heart (my people!) and I think it went well yesterday.  There had been a little snaffu in the beginning because a group member hijacked out “team” power-point, deleting/changing my every contribution and making me crazy that way.  I tried subtly conveying my feelings, and eventually had to be direct.  But everything was restored in the end and everything worked out.

-I always feel a little bit like a dud when you put me next to a bubbly, extroverted SLP student/teacher.  I am much more reserved and it really shows when I’m put up against that.  But my family said they didn’t get that impression and I looked good (and smart) so I guess it’s OK. . .

-I have another presentation on Tuesday, but I’m less excited because it’s 20 minutes long, which is almost no time at all.

-I have not worked on or even looked at my personal statement, scholarly paper, or neuroanatomy outline/drawings for 81.5-2 weeks.  Even though I’m sad my parents are gone, and think the visit was MUCH too short–I’m relieved to get to my normal routine soon.  After my next presentation, and oh–an interview.

-I have an interview.  Which was initially a real bummer because they wanted to do it on June 25th–my Dad’s milestone 70th birthday.  The birthday, my parents were going to be in town for (instead of 17 hours away).  Also the day, which this special presentation had fallen on.  And I had only agreed to do that because I think it’s important for Indians (only representing less than 1% on all health professions) are exposed to my program.  And the job is some random ticket agent, so I just told them I was out of town until the day my parents were gone.  And to my great surprise, they moved my interview day out to July 1st!  So I’m not sure what the job really entails or how many hours they want or what times, but depending on the factors I at least have a chance for a job.

-Cool went off her meds, and we all remembered that she used to have a personality.  So now she’s going to talk to her doctor and insist that whatever mood stabilizer she is put on does not have any drowsiness what-so-ever involved. Dad's 70th B-day visit 020 Bipolar meds are horrible in the fact they work by making you a complete zombie–which isn’t exactly quality-of-life.  We’ll see if this can be adjusted.  Oh and when she went off the meds, of course she vomited to the point of having to come home from work 2 days in a row = withdrawals.  So scary she has to depend on that to miss extreme highs and lows–I’m not certain which is worse.

-Despite a lot of dinners out, shopping trips, gifts, “visiting-type expenditures” I really managed to keep resigned in financially.  Partially because of my parents’ extreme generosity and partly due to sheer willpower.  I’m not nearly as behind as I thought I would be, and I even have some house-sitting money left over–which I in no way expected.

-My water consumption really suffered when my routine was thrown off.  I could stick with my exercise routine because it’s at home, first thing in the morning, but liquid availability, portability, and bathrooms make water really tough.  I have to get back into it in a hurry because my lips are always lizard-like lately.the 1 pic of both

-I have no idea what to do for my birthday.  Partially because 3-1 is anticlimactic, partly because I’m not sure if I’ll have to accommodate a job, or if I’ll even have money to do anything.  And I don’t know if this rainy Washington weather will cooperate at all–it’s rained all day today, and it rained from Cool’s birthday to the time my parents arrived a week later.  I guess I’d like to do something special–I’ll have to think on it.

Just Another Quick Note

13 May

The German by Laurel 009I am glad I quit drinking in November. It was inadvertently the best time I could have picked to maximize success. It was after the fall season, which features the best beers, festivals, and prior to school really gearing up. And holiday drinking really isn’t a “thing” for me, since family is far away, big parties have never happened on the big 3 holidays of the year, and studying is mostly on my mind in that time frame. But I have established firm habits now. Which apparently used to be prime drinking season.

As the weather gets warmer, I realize we used to drink during this time. As celebration for an accomplished semester. As enjoyment of the beautiful weather. As an end-goal for walking on a sunny day. And now I sort of miss it–but I have too many sober days in a row to ruin it. I will in no way allow myself to fail.  Not to mention I want my actions to align with my goals–and there is no place for alcohol in that equation.

Durango sneakers

And even though I in no way want to ruin things by drinking, it’s still kind of a let-down and a bummer abstaining during this season.  I still want to have a lot of fun and enjoy the weather and treat myself and let go a little during summer break, the only real time I don’t have to study so hard.  So here’s some things to enjoy instead:

-celebrate a good grade/GPA with a special meal or an activity or a coveted item.

-get food and take it outside to a park, instead of enjoying a brew on a patio as before.

-don’t walk anywhere near our old standby places–this means all the greatest restaurants in Spokompton (which doesn’t have many choices in the 1st place) are off limits.

-keep busy with games, crafts, books (as well as obviously my to-do list, but we’re talking fun things right now, not punishment).

-make our own smoothies/healthy drinks and take them on walks in a thermos so we can indulge still.

-drink out of our fancy glasses at home instead of the plain ‘ol waterbottles all the time.

-get some fruit or herbs to dress up water.

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March Goal Accountability

31 Mar

Maintenance Goals (from 2013):

-floss daily.  I did  it EVERY night (I think) and did a really good job of it probably 25% of the time, because I was either too tired or rushing to get into bed at the appropriate time.  In April I will try to increase to at least 50% thorough jobs.

sail boat-drink water.  I drank six, 8oz portions of water in all but 2 days during the month.  And on the day after the ones I fell short, I drank 8 glasses to make up for it.  Firstly, WHO am I?  Second, now if I don’t drink water I get a headache, chapped lips, and feel awful.  It’s a whole new thing for me.  Six wasn’t all that easy to do, so I’ll go for 7 in April.

-read for pleasure.  I finished the AIDS book and got halfway through a book about Native American Women, which is really good.  And I aim to do a synopsis one of these days, but I was really busy over break, and now I have a big exam, and a big project worth a full exam this next week.

-weekly massage.  I’m not sure why this one is so difficult.  We failed again.  Cool is only home at bed time the two nights a week, and if we snowboard, watch movies, are tired–do anything else, this one doesn’t get done.  Maybe if we try to do it after treadmilling?  So it’s finished early in the day???

-abstain from drinking.  I haven’t had a drop since November.  When we visited my Aunt, I didn’t like the way she made SUCH a big deal that she couldn’t believe we would ever stop drinking.  And I really didn’t like that both my Aunt and Uncle pressured us to drink.  If that keeps up–I won’t be going back to their house.  I like focusing on health, rather than trying to avoid things.

-study habits.  I got 4 hours ahead on my independent study over break, which translates to 1 and 1/3 weeks, but still it’s something.  I watched 8 hours of observation for another class the first weekend, because I didn’t want it hanging over my head.  And I had intentions to get ahead in audiometry, but it’s not that kind of class.  At least I don’t think I’ll be as overwhelmed.  I have to finish these last 6 super-strong!  And I will give my whole heart to studying for Thursday’s exam.

January=fitness.

Today (March 31) was day 89 in-a-row on the treadmill!  And I have a full 6 pack for the very first time in my life.  It feels good, and I hope Cool re-finds her positive attitude and motivation.  I’ll stick with two miles first thing every morning.  And on day 100 (April 11) we will do something very special.  We don’t know what yet, but we will think about it.

crabbyFeb=have gratitude; say nice things.

This was utter failure.  I was very busy and changing my routine and didn’t see very people.  I have to be mindful about this in April.  I’ll try to compliment clothes next month–that seems like an easy segway.

March=straighten out sleep.

I’ve been waking up a little later (4:45AM-6AM).  Which I don’t like in the morning, but I do like in the evening.  It’s a trade off:  Either shorter mornings, and struggle to clean before anyone gets to work OR no evening because I have to be in bed by 7PM.  Which sucks.  I’m not sure which I prefer and which I hate less. . .  Mission April = decide what schedule I want.

April=save $$$.

This is really not all that difficult when you don’t have any.  I’m drastically cutting back and only getting absolutely imperative things–which are paying bills.  I’ll publish a post about how to FEEL better about this and less punished this next month.

May=volunteer.

I crafted an auction basket for a club at school (that I don’t belong to).  It was really fun and I can write it on my CV–and it was a good deed.  Next month, I’m all set up to do a hearing screen for volunteer, and help at parent’s weekend at school.  Also, I’ll look into Habitat for Humanity, just as soon as it gets a little warmer out.

DMB at the Gorge 015June=Cool.

She just went through a short depression where I was supportive.  And I’m trying to help motivate her to keep up her fitness goals.  Hopefully, next month will be better.

July=my appearance.

This last month I reached into the depths of my closet, tried to wear accessories, and even wore jewelry once or twice.  It made me feel like more of a student and less like an unemployed person.  Also, it makes me feel rich to use stuff I already own.  In April, jewelry more often, and make-up!

Aug=Worry Less, Thank more.

I was going along for most of the month decidedly UNworried, which is very unlike me and felt awesome.  Then work burst my happy-bubble, as is usually the case and griped about cleaning and tried to rope me into more days and more time.  Which made me feel guilty at first, then annoyed because what right do they have?  When they did not follow through with ANY of my requests?!  I mean how hard is it to make a to-do list for me?  Anyway, so worry entered the picture.  But I am absolutely determined not to have any more power over me and if they fuss at me one more time–I’m done.  With no guilt, regrets, or returning.  I did manage to keep up my thanks every night before sleep, and I really like going to bed that way.  Next month–put my foot down, keep thanking, and add at least ONE thing to my positivity jar.  I still only have the first 5 things in there. . .

quailSept=make a list, grocery shop, cook ahead.

In adjusting to the new schedule, I managed a portion of this.  I have been making a list.  I made a menu twice, and based the grocery list off of it.  We grocery shopped about half the time.  Cooking ahead has not occured yet.  I just have to string these pieces together to make success of this goal.  I made a manu, made the list, and grocery shopped already THIS week, so that’s a good start.  In April I will put together all those parts to make the whole.

Oct=don’t over-pluck.

I still hate my eyebrows.  I haven’t overplucked them, but I can’t stand looking at them either.  I need to research at home bleaching or waxing kits in April.

Nov=Increase eye contact.

I think this one entails seeing people, which now I rarely do.  When I do my big hearing screenings this week, I’m going to really concentrate on this and get it done.

March was a time of readjustment and reconfiguring, but I stuck with a lot of my goals.  I just need to put all the little things together in April.

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frances willard (good thing this isn’t for a grade)

13 Mar

My citations would NOT be appropriate.  OK, it may be a cut & paste job, but this is a really interesting history of an early feminist in honor of women’s history month.  Anyway, it might not be my own, and it might be in a jumble, but the biography is inspiring and educational all the same.  Check it out:

-Frances Willard was a radical social progressive who stood out against gender inequality and fought to give a voice to society’s disenfranchised.  She exposed the inherent hypocrisies of the status quo and forever changed accepted societal norms (2).

-the alcohol problem represented the powerlessness of American women. The crusade to stop alcohol was a protest by women of their lack of civil rights. In the late nineteenth century, women could not vote. In most August 2011 105states, married women were considered “dead to the law,” their identity subsumed under their husband’s. Men could take their wives’ pay but not vice-versa. Married women could not own property in most states, and men could not be prosecuted for wife abuse. As late as the year 1900, in 37 states a woman had no right to custody of her children in the case of divorce. When the WCTU began its work, the state-regulated “age of consent” was as low as seven, and prosecutions for rape were rare (3).

-Women in the United States were victims. The consumption of alcohol by the men of America, coupled with the The German by Laurel 009powerlessness of women, led to child and wife abuse and other oppressions of women. And liquor was truly a curse. In the late nineteenth century, there was one saloon for every 50 males over age 15 in working class sections. Most local political meetings were held in saloons from which women were excluded. The liquor trade held a disproportionate share of public offices and was involved in corruption, crime, and vote-buying. By the year 1900, one of every 116 Americans was employed in the liquor industry. Americans spent over a billion dollars on alcoholic beverages, $900 million on meat, $150 million on churches, and less than $200 million on public education (3).

-The women who fought to control liquor were opposing one of the most powerful, entrenched forces in American life. Alcoholic men spent their money on liquor and had no legal obligation to support their wives and children. In divorce, the same alcoholics were awarded the children. As the leader of the WCTU, in the forefront against the grave societal evils represented by liquor, Frances Willard became the most admired woman in America (3).

-in 1873-4: the so-called “Woman’s Crusade.” In Hillsboro, Ohio, in December of 1873, a group of Protestant winechurch women went to hear a temperance speaker. The women became so excited by the dangers of liquor portrayed in the speech that they stormed the local saloon with prayer and non-violent protest. Across the Midwest, normally quiet housewives began to march and to accost druggists, hotel owners, and saloon keepers and demand that they refuse to sell liquor. Women dropped to their knees for pray-ins at local saloons and refused to leave until the saloon shut down. Within three months, the women had driven liquor out of 250 villages and towns. Opened casks of liquor were poured down the streets. By the end of the Woman’s Crusade, over 900 communities in 31 states and territories had experienced it. Nationwide, 750 breweries were closed. Thousands of women felt empowered by the crusade, which was the first time many of them had taken a public stand for anything (3).

-Willard recognized, developed, and implemented the use of the Woman’s Christian Temperance Union (WCTU) as a political organizing force (2).

-The WCTU quickly became the largest women’s organization in the United States, with local branches in most wine pic-niccommunities. It was the first national religious organization to be organized in the South after the Civil War. Its paper, the Union Signal, by 1890 was the largest woman’s paper in the world (3).

-She became the national president of the  Woman’s Christian Temperance Union (WCTU) in 1879, and remained president for 19 years (wiki).

-Under her leadership, the WCTU grew to be the largest non-secular organization of women in the 19th century (2).

-In their push to expose the evils of alcohol, Willard and other temperance reformers often depicted alcohol as a substance that incited black criminality, and implicitly made the argument that this was a serious problem requiring a serious cure.[ (wiki).

-National Prohibition has been interpreted as a cultural war between Protestants who were already well-Cool's b-day wknd 154established in North American and the newer Catholic and Jewish immigrants, who typically drank alcohol beverages as part of their cultures. In addition, Protestants tended to live in rural areas and towns whereas the newer immigrants tended to settle in large cities, thus creating another division. 5 WCTU membership included women from nearly every sector of American life, but consisted largely of lower-middle and middle-class women with strong ties to evangelical Protestant churches (5).

Although the WCTU had chapters throughout the U.S. and Canada with a very large membership, for years it did not accept Catholic, Jewish or African-American women or women who had not been born in North America. This reflected the cultural division conflict. When the WCTU began accepting African-American women, they were organized into separate chapter or unions. Black members tended to be teachers or other professional (5).

The WCTU was anxious to “Americanize” new immigrants, which meant to them, to persuade them to abstain from alcohol beverages. In the first two decades of the twentieth century much of its budget was spent on its center on Ellis Island in order to begin this “Americanization” process. The WCTU was especially concerned about the immigration of Irish and Germans and what it believed was the threat they posed to abstention and the promotion of prohibition (5).

-One WCTU leader expressed strong concern over “the enormous increase of immigrant population flooding us Easter 006from the old world, men and women who have brought to our shores and into our politics old world habits and ideas [favorable to alcohol]” and peppered her writing with references to this “undesirable immigration” and “these immigrant hordes.” (5).

The WCTU was not unique; the largely anti-foreign, anti-Catholic, anti-German and anti-Semitic nature of the temperance movement has been extensively documented. 7 The WCTU also supported eugenics. The Ku Klux Klan (KKK) actively promoted Prohibition and its strict enforcement and many women belonged to both the WCTU and the KKK, sometimes holding leadership positions in both organizations(5).

-Her tireless efforts for women’s suffrage and prohibition included a fifty-day speaking tour in 1874, an average of 30,000 miles of travel a year, and an average of four hundred lectures a year for a ten-year period, mostly with her longtime companion Anna Adams Gordon. (wiki).

-Willard insisted that women must forgo the notion that they were the “weaker” sex and that dependence was their nature and must join the movement to improve society, stating “Politics is the place for woman (wiki).

-The WCTU pushed for women’s rights to vote specifically so that women could vote for the prohibition of liquor. Halloween 2013 006As an organization of church women, the WCTU persuaded the Protestant churches to get behind the women’s vote as a vehicle to push through temperance. Suffrage and temperance were seen as two pieces of the same issue: national prohibition was finally enacted in 1919, shortly before women received the vote (3).

-The WCTU has proposed, supported, and helped establish protection of women and children at home and work, stiffer penalties for sexual crimes against girls and women, traveler’s aid, police matrons, pure food and drug laws, legal aid, passive demonstrations, among many others (2).
-lesbian?

-“The loves of women for each other grow more numerous each day, and I have pondered much why these Vodka_and_Martinithings were. That so little should be said about them surprises me, for they are everywhere … In these days when any capable and careful woman can honorably earn her own support, there is no village that has not its examples of ‘two hearts in counsel,’ both of which are feminine.”  –Frances Willard, The Autobiography of an American Woman: Glimpses of Fifty Years, 1889 (wiki).

-To most modern historians, Willard is overtly identified as a lesbian,[17][18][19] while contemporary and slightly later accounts merely described her relationships, and her pattern of long-term domestic cohabitation with women, and allowed readers to draw their own conclusions.[20] Willard herself only ever formed long-term passionate relationships with women, and she stated as much in her autobiography.[21] (wiki).

-denounced prez candidate for Catholic religion (prohibition documentary).
-later became Catholic (prohibition documentary).

1) wikipedia

2)  http://www.franceswillardhouse.org/Frances_Willard.html

3)  http://www.druglibrary.org/schaffer/history/temperancewillard.htm

5)  http://www2.potsdam.edu/alcohol/Controversies/Womans-Christian-Temperance-Union.html#.UyImbD9dWtM

 

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Triggers and Rewards

23 Feb

I haven’t had a drink since November.  It’s an accomplishment I’m proud of–and surpringly not difficult on a daily basis like I thought it would be.  Mostly, I don’t even think about it.  This is an old post, and one I hesitated to put up, but I was reminded because of concert tickets.  I told myself that if I didn’t drink, I would reward myself with a ticket to a 2nd show on Labor Dave Weekend.  We can usually only afford one of the 3 days.  But with money saved by not buying alcohol, we could get another show this year.  So it was saved money AND reward simultaneously.  Then, Brandi Carlile sweetened the deal by signing on for all 3 days of the show!  It’s a dream come true.  So since we just got those 4 tickets (Cool bought us each a tik for Friday, I bought Cool a good seat for Sunday, and my parents got ME a good seat Sunday as an early b-day gift) this Friday–here’s how much work went into getting here:

Easter 006

Temptation:

-surprisingly, having licquor in the house has not mattered one iota.  Nor has seeing it in grocery stores.

-seeing a new beer on tap.

-seeing taps at all.

-when Cool mentions drinking, or buying alcohol (except she also quit alcohol altogether as of February).

-seeing my fave restaurants post pics/specials on Facebook.

-Going to restaurants, visitng our old favorite restaurants, SEEING the cocktail menu.Walla Faces tasting

-when TV/movie characters are drinking or talking about it.

-visiting Aunt Linda.

-stressful work days (Forster Fridays especially).

-bitchy professors–snippy comments, rude e-mail responses.

-feeling overwhelmed by schoolwork/studying.

Halloween 2013 006-having unscheduled time with Cool (hardly happens due to opposing work schedules).  And now our expectations have been re-set so this isn’t an issue at ALL any more.

-post-tests or after receiving a good grade–for celebration.

-when there is time to kill or free-time (which again, rarely happens with work schedules and perpetual studying).

-concerts/parties/functions (virtually non-existent in my life, but applicable sometime I guess).

-reading a blog/book talking about alcohol in any way.

-drinking-centric holidays like Superbowl and St. Patty’s Day–though Thanksgiving and Christmas (holidays about something) weren’t difficult at ALL.

-thinking of missing out at Labor Dave tailgating, at Fandango Champagne brunch, or when we move to CO with all the craft breweries.

Reactions:

-irritability when a normal drinking time approaches/arrives and I’m NOT.

-Anxiety/worry/stress/frustration in anticipation of work or after a bad work day (or perceived negative interaction with someone at work)

-worry and stress about studies

-obsessing over exchanges with others where I felt misunderstood/frustrated.

-Desire when I see the restaurants (marketing drinks).

-guilt at ruining a good time because of abstinence.

Side Effects:

-I don’t think I had any physical symptoms.

-In the first week, especially, I experienced irritability when drinking times approached arrived and I knew I couldn’t participate.

-In week 3+ my sleep schedule got really messed up.  Mornings started feeling really early.  And I was very tired though-out work, and tired in class.  This may or may not be related to abstaining from drink.  I wasn’t very consistent in my sleep and wake times, which might have set this one off.

-I started having energy drinks to remain functional on 9-12 hour work days.  This bled over to school days.  Except, drinking them gave me headaches, and barely made me functional, hardly energetic.

-Day 20-ish, I do not know if it was situational or not, but I felt overwhelmingly stressed and anxious, to the point I seriously considered dropping one of my classes.  In this period I was (even more) hypersensitive, stressed, and worried.

-On day 23-ish feelings of day 20 combined with an extreme tiredness and fatigue.  I could not concentrate, couldn’t focus, and felt super-tired.  An example of the fatigue was that I got a hole in my right sock and took it off, but found it was far too much effort to remove the left sock, let along dig out a new pair.  So I slept in the one sock.

coffee teddy

Things I Did:

-I made my sleep schedule a priority

-I cut out caffeine (mostly)

-Cool and I have run a mile on the treadmill for 53 days in a row

-I drink 4-8 cups of water every day

-I take time for gratitude daily.

-I quit my job.  Did you read long enough to catch that?  My last day is tomorrow, but I didn’t want to mention it earlier because you never know who is reading.  More on THIS is an upcoming series.

Gorge Friday 8-30-13 crowd

So overall, I’m proud of me and the strides I’ve taken to align my actions with my goals.  Now that I don’t drink I live a healthier lifestyle in general, worry less, feel positive and more hopeful, and think clearly about where I want to go in my life.

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One More Month to Get It Done

30 Nov

Will I make it?  Well, let’s see.  I at least feel more optimistic about November.  And look at this:  I actually pulled up the original new year’s resolutions so I can see what I’m supposed to be doing!  Super-NOT lazy!  Next year, I make a physical sign or poster of the goals so I can see and remember them always.

coffee owl

Work:

It’s usually a touchy subject, but things are going great.  I’m hesitant to say it, because it’s jinxy and these things can go sour in a hurry.  Have I mentioned I adore my new schedule?  Even though it keeps me locked in town, and even though I’m pretty much constantly tired Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday?  It is still the best change in my life.  And knock on wood-everyone is being as nice as they are able to me right now.

Cool:

We’ve been trying to cook again lately.  And we had a few massages this month–though I think that may be what set off last week’s terrible headache. . .  Her meds may or may not be back of track, it’s difficult to tell.  My loyality, responsibility, reminders, and finances end up conveying how much I care–I still am not the greatest at doing little things to show I care.  I want to work on that more.

Education:

I have really succeeded in making this my number 1 priority.  There is no keeping up or getting ahead on class work and studying, but I’m pulling through the best I can.  I just have to make it another week, and then 2 more semesters!  I can, and I will keep that 4.0!

Alcohol:

I drank the special Walla Walla wine (but nothing at our fancy restaurant lunch) for our 4 year anneversary.  The second time I drank was some of our ice wine (that I said I was going to finish) at my Aunt’s house.  It would have been very uncharacteristic not to have anything there, and I would have had to offer an explanation–which I didn’t want to get into.  And the whole drinking thing over there ended up making me feel alone and empty.  I don’t want to be THAT person that gives it up, then judges others about their habits.  But I was concerned.  My aunt had begun drinking before we got there.  Disregarded my feelings/health (I was legit-ill with headache and stomach issues that night), and pressured Cool to open another bottle of wine after we had gone through the first two.  I was drinking slowest and only had 1.5 glasses of wine (to their 3-4?), then gave the remainder of my glass to Cool because I felt icky.  But even after I indicated I didn’t feel well and wanted to leave soon, my aunt waited until I went to the bathroom, and guilted Cool into pouring more wine.  The whole scanario made me feel worthless, like they didn’t care about me, and I knew it was the alcohol doing all the talking that night.  I can’t go over there again, if that’s the situation.  I’m going to attempt only breakfast meetings with my aunt from now on, to avoid the pressure, and that ugly feeling.  I have done very well otherwise, and feel so much better about life in general without it.

Money/Food:

I have been getting caffeine a lot lately–the Starbucks was a frequent stop this month.  I just felt very tired, but didn’t want to forgo the studying for sleep.  After finals, I need to get back to more economical energy practices.  Also, it’s been a little rough without food stamps at all.  The cupboards are often bare, and frige empty.  This is more from lack of planning, then complete dire straights–I need to be smart and stick to necessities and ingrediants rather then blowing a bunch of cash on small, processed easy-prepare foods.  Mission stop being tired, and therfore lazy!

Exercise:

Ugh–complete and utter fail.  I do nothing outside of my normal routine–which is luckily fairly active.  Next semester I MUST establish a treadmill, Wii-Fit, circuits routine and really stick with it, for those cold weather, studious months.  I’m getting too old to be sedentary.

Water:

Water consumption is still hit or miss.  I AM drinking some water each day, which is a vast improvement from the none, and dehyrating beverages of the past.  I need to have more though.  It’s imperative that I chug water in the early morning at work.  I think this is one reason I’ve had daily headaches this whole week.

Dental:

And I’ve skipped a few flossing days, mostly because I wait until I’m too tired sometimes.  But for the most part, I’ve done that daily as I should.

As you can see I fizzled out by the end of this.  I must be tired.  I’ll do a big month and year wrap up in December, and have 2014 resolutions as well.

Shame, Shame, Shame–Full Disclosure

1 Nov

Another post that I do not WANT to write.  But it needs to be done.  No matter who sees it.  Writing this will put it out there and hold me accountable.

I intend to quit drinking all-together.  Like done.  

Here’s the straw that broke the camel’s back:  Cool and I wanted to celebrate Halloween–our favorite holiday.  Except I had an exam fairly late in the day.  So I studied all day prior to the exam, and took the exam at 2PM until 3:15 PM. Cool had taken the night off work this year and she wanted to go to a restaurant dressed in our costumes.  She was a banana and I was a butterfly.  And we were so, so responsible!  We wanted a drink at the resturant and knew on Halloween there would be drunk drivers, kids walking around, and police enforcement–not the best driving scene.  So we cabbed it.  Which was super-expensive at $42 round trip 😦

Halloween 2013 039

Anyway, so I had my first drink close to 4 PM.  Oh, and I had eaten a really filling skillet-scramble prior to my exam so this was on a pretty full stomach.  At the restaurant we shared a boneless wings meal also.  I never intended to get drunk, and don’t remember being drunk.  I knew full well that I had to work before the crack of dawn the next morning.  There was never a time when I thought–hmm maybe this drink isn’t the best idea.  And I didn’t drink any different amount then I usually do, but I guess it must have been a shorter span of time.

Because, when I woke up at 5AM I felt pretty rough.  But I got up, poured my normal coffee, and got water too and went through my normal morning routine figuring with hydration and caffeine I’d be set to go to work.  But maybe I drank all the liquid too fast, or the coffee was a bad idea.  Because as I sat there I began to feel worse.  But I have never, never, never missed responsibilites for drinking reasons, so I fully intended on going to work–knowing I might drag my way through the 4 short hours.  But then I felt terrible.  Like headache, dizzy, touchy belly–just full on horrible-hangover feelings I suppose.  And I stood up to start packing my backpack for work–and had the spins so bad I had to immediately sit back down.  I was really bad-off.

How could I go to work.  I couldn’t even stand, let alone drive–or actually work.  And I have never called in sick to this job in 3(?) years, I’ve only called in sick at all 3 prior times in my life.  And of course, today I was supposed to work with the doctor that now hates me and treats me badly, so I didn’t want to give her a legit reason not to like me.  But I just couldn’t pull through.  So I had to text everyone telling them I was sick–knowing full well on November 1st they would know I was hungover.  And that it would look bad.  And that it was bad and messy.

I feel ashemed, embarrassed, and sloppy.  That is not the person I am, and I can’t let that happen again.  So I think it’s best if me and alcohol part ways.  Yes, forever–not just as hang-over regret.  When drinking consequences bleed over into my work life, who knows where they would head next.  I don’t want to find out.  And I’m torn–I will probably need support and it’s no secret, but I’m hesitant to announce it too.  Because I don’t want to put any name to it, or have anyone make a huge deal about it or treat me like some kind of junkie.  I guess I can decide about that later.  I’m just better off without drinking, that’s all.

BUT–logistics!  We have all this really hard to find ice-wine in the house.  4 bottles?  And I don’t want to waste them.  I won’t do that.  So even though I have resolve to quit now, I think I will finish those first.  But then, for reals–especially now that I’ve typed and posted this–I’m done.

 

Going to the Media

28 Aug

There is a story that needs to be written:

Who takes care of the trails system? The branch of the Centennial on East S. Riverton Ave (across the river from Avista and across Mission Avenue from Witter Pool) is overgrown to the point people are hiding in the shrubbery. I think some grooming is in order.

I sent this note to the Spokane Police, Spokane Transportation, Spokane Parks & Rec, and Spokane Government. Each entity deferred responsibility to someone else, so no one is doing anything.

This is right down the road from where Sharlotte McGill was stabbed to death and is marked as an official trail. To let the foilage grown to an extent that people can hide/drink/drunk/live within is dangerous for everyone that trusts a community trail should be safe.

From Parks & Rec: [Here’s the official word —– The trail between the river and South Riverton is Tuffy’s Trail and is not part of the Centennial Trail. There is an informal, unofficial dirt path that runs closer to the Riverbank where vegetation is heavier but we advise people to stay on the paved and sidewalk trail that runs on top along the street. The vegetation does not encroach on the trail in this location. —– So it looks like that part of the trail might be out of luck. Thanks for letting us know!]

From the Police:  [I believe that would be Parks and Recreation. . .  You may want to check with the street department at 232-8800. Other than that, we’re out of other options.]

“Tuffy’s trail” is the lower dirt trail demarcated by a sign and starts near Napa–well away from the Mission portion I’m speaking of. I’m talking about the Centennial Trail right on Mission, the bike branch–which has a sign saying “Centennial Bike Trail.” It is dangerous to be on the cement there as the trees and brush obscure view from the street and people are hanging out/drinking open container/living/maybe doing drugs there.

It’s unfortunate there is apathy for that part of the trail and the safety of the people on it. Someone ought to care. . . Maybe if you write a story on the issue, someone will find the motivation to do something in order to avoid another tragedy.

June Goal Self-Monitor

28 Jun

I think it’s been difficult to adhere to my goals because it’s summer. There is less structure and routine imposed on me by others, so my time is more free. Which is a good break, but bad for productivity. Also, the weather is very un-summer-like every other week it seems, so that makes it feel just like a semester. And despite the tone of this intro, I actually did OK.

Let’s see–flossing. I may actually have this one licked (pun intended) as I have been flossing nightly-yay me! Now for bleaching the chompers for b-day pic purposes. Hopefully, that Sensodine does its thing.

9Encourage Cool. Things are really good right now between us. And I am sure my birthday w/her in Walla Walla will be amazing!

And speaking of that drinking has been a big FAIL.  But in my defense, we went from house-sitting with unlimited free beer and wine, to Cool’s birthday, into Independence Day, right into my birthday.  And it’s summer anyway, so it’s not impeding my ultimate career goals.  But between the birthday and Labor Dave, scaling back will be had.

Work–still stresses me out and preoccupies my mind and my time. But I’m not counting the days when I’ll be out of there, so I suppose this is not that bad either.  But I agreed to work full days that I do not actually want to work, and will bring me misery, and derail more school/career goals–but I AM getting my birthday weekend off so I’m considering this a trade. And the money will be good. I am thisclose to paying off my Care Credit wisdom teeth and my Visa card–and without using ANY school loan money. Big sigh of relief.

Money. Well, since Cool has none, it makes me spend less. Which I never like, but is good for me. We have been cleaning minisout the freezer and eating every edible thing in the pantry in order to save for my birthday. So meals suck right now, but the money is adding up.

Speaking of meals, calories are only OK. I guess. It’s hard to have both worlds–healthy eating on a budget. So since this is a week of better weather we’re out at the track. And it hurts and it’s terrible how out-of-shape I am this late in the season. And how I can’t even focus on times, because I’m merely trying to finish the distance. And it’s going to make winter feel ever so long–this rain and clouds of summer. But it forces us outside on sunny days even when we want to be lazy, so I guess it’s a good scene after all.

ossicular chain 6And on all those cloudy days, I’ve managed to read the textbooks, and outline 35 pages of anatomy (1 large chapter), 1.5 chapters of Audiology for next spring, and 1.25 chapters of Aural Rehab for Fall.  And counting.  So I’m slowly (and daily) getting through those, which will take some stress and pressure off during the classes.  And this time, typing the outlines, so I don’t have to re-write things when professors give that as an assignment, because dopey classmates don’t read.  Which as I’ve said before should be punishment enough–let them test lower, don’t baby-sit us.  But at any rate, I’m ready for it.  And if it isn’t an actual assignment, I can just print out the notes and use them.

So I guess I feel like I should and want to be doing more, but I’m actually doing alright on the goals.  Next time I report in–I’ll be 30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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