Tag Archives: work

Taylor Swift’s Catalogue Ranked by Kit10Phish (final)

14 Mar

I ranked all album songs from least favorite to my very most delightful favorite of all the songs!

How I made this list:

https://kit10phish.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=11721&action=edit

and check out the many (not final) lists for more description

(numbers) are the album/era

(C)atchy, (D)etailed story, (G)aylor references, (I)nstrumentals, (L)yrical complexity, very high/low (N)otes, (P)roduction stands out in a good way, (S)entimental

Skips
Last Place Song:
Superman (3)

Soon You’ll Get Better (7)
(best skip) Epiphany (8)

Mehs
3 boring:
A Perfectly Good Heart (1): I, N
(best boring-meh) The Archer (7): G, L

Mehs
2 Personally Dislike:
The Lakes (8): G, L, N, P
End Game (6): C, G, L, P (terrible feat!)
(best disliked meh) Coney Island (9): G, L, N (terrible feat!)

Mehs
1 Exactly Meh:
It’s Nice to Have a Friend (7); D, G, L (Ambiguity bothers me; weird production)
The Other Side of the Door (2): I, L, N
A Place in This World (1): I, N
Right Where You Left Me (9): C, G, L, N (repetitive)
(best exactly meh) The Outside (1): I, N (weak)

OK3 = nearly meh (final)
OK-3B BOTTOM OF LIST:
Tell Me Why (2): C, I, N = 3b (thin voice & a bit generic lyrically)
Sad, Beautiful, Tragic (4): C = 3B (both blah and bummer)
Superstar (2); D = 3B (zzzzzz)
I Almost Do (4); C = 3 (too needy/pathetic/un-feminist. Yet catchy)
(best OK-bottom of nearly meh) Jump Than Fall (2): C, I = 3B

OK3 = nearly meh (final)
OK-3A = TOP OF LIST:
The Other Side of the Door (2); C, I, L, N = 3A
Innocent (3): C, I, N = 3A
Last Kiss (3): C, D, N = 3A
The Best Day (2): C, D, = 3A
(best nearly meh) Fearless (2); C, I, N = 3a

OK2 = exactly neutral
OK-2B = BOTTOM OF LIST:
Peace (8): C, D, G, L = 2b (hate pulsing; lyrics condescending(?))
Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince (7); C, D, G, L, N = 2b (don’t care for HS/politics mixing & end chant is too much. But lots of good one-liners)
I Wish You Would (5): C, G = 2A
It’s Time to Go (9): C, D, G, L, N = 2B
Illicit Affairs (8); C, D, G, L = 2B
August (8); C, G, L = 2B
(best OK-bottom of exactly neutral) A Place in the World (1): C, I, N = 2B

OK2 = exactly neutral
OK-2A = TOP OF LIST:
The Way I Loved You (2): C, D, I, N = 2A
False God (7): C, G, L = 2A
Breathe (2): C, G(?), L = 2A
Dorthea (9): C, D, G, L, N = 2A
Happiness (9): C, D, L = 2A
Seven (8); C, D, G, L, N = 2a
(best of OK-exactly neutral) Long Live (3): C, D, I, N = 2A

OK1 = almost good
OK-1B= BOTTOM OF LIST:
Mary’s Song (oh my my) (1): C, D, I, N = 1B
This Love (5): C, G, L, N, P = 1b
I Think He Knows (7): C, G, L, P = 1b
(best OK-bottom of almost good) London Boy; C, D, L, P = 1b

OK1 = almost good
OK-1A= TOP OF LIST:
New Romantics (5): C, D, G, L, N, P = 1A
Hey Stephen (2): C, D = C2
Call It What You Want (6); C, G, L, P = 1A
Tied Together w/a Smile (1): C, D, I, N = C2 (less repetition, some more notes & instrumentals
Gorgeous (6): C, D, L, N, P = 1A
King of My Heart (6): C, L, N, P = 1A (ENDING)
Change (2); C, I (@ END!), N = 1A
Back to December-acoustic (3): C, D, I, N, S = 1A
(best OK-almost good) Cornelia Street (7); C, D, G, L, N = 1A

Good c = almost OK
Gc2 = bottom of category:
State of Grace-acoustic (4): C, L = C2
Begin Again (4): D, I, L = C2
The Last Time (4): C, I = C2 (weird collaboration)
(best Good-bottom of almost OK) Cold as You (1): I, N = C2

Good c = almost OK
Gc1 = top of category:
22 (4): C = c1
Untouchable (2): C, I, N = C1
Come in w/the Rain (2): C, I = C1
All Too Well (4): D, I, L, N = C1 (almost a powwow beat; and yup I did rank it this low)
Starlight (4); C, I = C1
(best Good-almost OK) Sparks Fly (3); C, I = C1

Good b= exactly good
Gb2 = bottom of category:
If this was a Movie (3): C, D, I, N = B2
Never Grow Up (3): C, D, I, N = B2 (problematic sentiment)
’tis the damn Season (9): C, D, L, B2
You are in Love (5): C, N = B2
Stay Beautiful (1): C, I, N = B2
Treacherous-demo (4): C, G(!), L = B2
Cardigan (8): C, D, G, L = B2
Red-demo (4): C = B2
The Last Great American Dynasty (8): C, D = B2
How You Get the Girl (5): C, D, G = B2
(best Good-bottom of exactly good) White Horse (2): D, I, N = B2

Good b= exactly good
Gb1 = top of category:
Everything has Changed (4); C, N = B1
Holy Ground (4): C, D, G, L = B1
This is Me Trying (8): C, I, L(!) = B1
Afterglow (7): C, P = B1
Treacherous (4): C, G(!), L =B1
Daylight (7): C, G, L, N = b1
Come Back…Be Here (4): C, N = B1
Mirrorball (8): C, G, L = B1
I’m Only Me When I’m w/You (1): C, I(!) = b1
Forever & Always-piano (2): C, I, N = B1
The Lucky One (4): C, D, N, = B1
(best Good-exactly good) Fifteen (2): C, D, I = B1

Good a= almost awesome
Ga2 = bottom of category:
This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things (6): a2
Welcome to New York (5): C, D, G, N, P = A2
Me! (7): C, G, I, N = A2 (yup, I ranked it this high–it grew on me)
Wildest Dreams (5): C, N, S = A2 (sexy)
Delicate (6): C, D, G, L, P = A2
So It Goes…(6): C, G, P, L, N = A2 (sexy lines)
Mine-pop (3): D, I, N = A2
Clean (5): C, G, L, P = A2
Tim McGraw (1): C, D, G, I, N = A2
Champagne Problems (9): C (bridge), D, G, L = A2a
(best Good-bottom of almost awesome) Betty (8): C, D, I, G, L = A2a (catchy, & swelling instrumentals)

Good a= almost awesome
Ga1 = top of category:
Mine (3): C, D, I, N = A1
Haunted-acoustic (3): C, I, N, P = A1
Getaway Car (6): C, D, G, P = A1
Death by a Thousand Cuts (7): C, D, G, L, = A1b
Gold Rush (9): C, G, L = A1b
tolerate it (9): G, I, L = A1
Cruel Summer (7): C, G, L, N = A1b
Red (4): C, I, L, P = A1
New Year’s Day (6): C, D, I, N =A1
Cowboy Like Me (9): C, D, G, I, L = A1
willow (9): C, G, L, N = A1 (so effing catchy!)
Dress (6): C, G, L = A1 (SEXY)
Haunted (3): C, I (!), N, P = A1a
Teardrops On My Guitar-RADIO (1): C, I, L, N = A1 (sounds almost the same to me)
(best Good-almost awesome) Teardrops On My Guitar-POP (1): C, I, L, N = A1 (more beat & echo)

Awesome- 3 BETTER THAN GOOD:
All You had to do was Stay (5): C, N = 3
Evermore (9): C, L, N = 3
Stay, Stay, Stay (4): C, D, S = 3
Bad Blood (6): C, N = 3
The Moment I Knew (4): D, N = 3
(best Awesome-better than good) Ours (3); C, L, N = 3

Awesome-2 SOLID AWESOME
2b = bottom of list:
You Belong w/Me (2); C, D, I, N, S = 2b
I Forgot that You Existed (7); C = 2b
Girl at Home (4): C, N = 2b
Our Song (1): C, D, I =2b
Paper Rings (7): C, D, G, P = 2b
No Body, No Crime (9): C, D, L (pronoun/subject) = 2a
Closure (9); C, G, L, P = 2b
The 1 (8): C, D, G, L = 2b
Wonderland (5); C, G, L, N, P = 2b
(best Awesome-bottom of solid awesome) Ivy (9); C, G, L = 2b

Awesome-2 SOLID AWESOME
2a = top of list:
my tears ricochet (8): D, L, P = 2a
Mad Women (8): C, L, N = 2a
Out of the Woods (5): D (bridge), G, L = 2a (is this car crash real? who and when? major gay closet vibes)
The Man (7): C, G, L = 2a
Invisible String (8); C, D, L = 2A
You Need to Calm Down (7): C, G, S = 2a (the 3 things being compared aren’t related? enthusiastic!)
Back to December (3): C, D, S(!) = 2a
Blank Space (5): C, G, L, N = 2a
(best of Awesome-solid awesome) I Knew You Were Trouble (4); C, N, P = 2a (subtle-moag)

Awesome-1 ELITE
1b= bottom of list:
Love Story (2-TV): C, D, I, N = 1a (same except staccato reme-o & fa-ding)
Love Story (2): C, D, I, N = 1a (her 1st crowd favorite, but rom-com effect w/princess stuff & severe heteronormativity)
Dear John (3); C, D, L, N = 2a
Enchanted (3): C, D(!), I, N, S = 1b
Better Than Revenge (3): C, D, I(!), N, S = 1B (sounds like Paramore; problematic mean-girl stuff, but it was a time)
Exile (8): C, G, I, L, N = 1b
Dancing with Our Hands Tied (6): C, G, L, N, P = 1b
Marjorie (9); C, G, L, P, S = 1b (I love the sentiment more than the song. Intense memories of my Grandma, thanks Taylor, for that)
(best of awesome- bottom of elite) Long Story Short (9): C, G, L, P = 1b

Awesome-1 ELITE
1a = top of list:
Style (5): C, G, I, L, N, P = 1a (who is she talking about, what car crash is referenced, is it real?)
Lover (7): C, G, L, S = 1a
Shake It Off (5): C, N = 1a (love the sentiment, & catchiest of ever!)
I Did Something Bad (6): C, N, P = 1a (moag is the star here)
We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together (4): C, I, P = 1a
Look What You Made Me Do (6): C, P = 1a (exciting like several songs w/in 1 song, I don’t trust nobody bridge)
The Story of Us (3): C, I, S = 1a ( like the next chapter, the end)
Picture to Burn (1): C, I, S = 1a
Shoulda Said No (1): C, I, N, S(!) = 1a
…Ready for It? (6); C, G, N, P = 1a (sexy sounds & moag)
(4th best song) I Know Places (5): C, G, L, N, P = 1a

–and the top 3 songs in the entire catalogue (in my opinion):
*Don’t Blame Me (6): C, G, L, N(!), P = 1a (that moag! She sings her ASS off! Probably the best, barring sentimental favorites)

You’re Not Sorry (2): C, I, N, S(!) = 1a

(My #1 song) Mean (3): C, L, S(!) =1a (after all the listening I learned sentimental really does trump every other characteristic.)

2021 Goals

1 Jan

See maintain for all the stuff we have been doing and need to just keep up or amp up now that the holidays are over.

  1. I need to quickly acknowledge and say just enough to move along at work. Not saying anything, and trying to ignore things made me have pent up frustration. Then I exploded inappropriately. But also, what is the point of getting upset every time? it’s only making me look worse and worse. I already know my manager is dumb and belligerent. And I already know my supervisor is arrogant, condescending, misogynistic, and sometimes dinky. I don’t need to be enraged anew each time I deal with them. And it’s not changing anything.

strategies for this:

rather than jumping right in, I need to take 5-10 min before I respond at all. Give my rational brain the chance to do the talking.

I need to process it with Cool prior to engaging with them

forget trying to make them see my point (neither listen anyway) I need to just keep it light and say OK! just to end it.

2. Play with the kitten more/better.

Time. Make it a priority. Put it in our routine. Make it an in-a-row. Do it early before it’s dark and before we’re tired.

Sometimes he won’t engage. try different color ball, or 2 at once. Try wand. Try the tunnels. Use catnip. Leash-train him so if nothing else we can walk him.

I can always add more later, but aside from keeping up all the stuff we’re already doing, these are the main 2.

Reflection: Best Moments of 2020 (good to very, very best)

31 Dec

*Covid-19 note: We haven’t been into public since March 14, when we were sent home to work. Other than contact-free vet appointments, walks around the neighborhood (crossing the street if there were other people), and one curb-side pick up of Bountiful Baskets in March. Other than that, we have not had contact with people or gone anywhere. So a few of these items (marked with *) happened before America took Covid-19 seriously, so don’t worry about us being covidiots. Pics on items w/o * are from prior years. About when the sports-world went dark, I realized it was an emergency. Then, after we no longer had to go to the work building we didn’t go anywhere.

-Instead of being in an old stadium very far from where it’s feasible to see games, Covid-19 allowed us to see way more televised WNBA games then ever before. And our favorite team, Seattle Storm, won! And our favorite player, Sue Bird did AWESOME!!!

-My awful/lazy/inept supervisor got transferred to a different department. What a relief.

-Labor Dave Weekend (drive in YouTube streaming). This sounds kinda sad, but it was actually better than having to miss it year after year when we moved away from WAshington. We always went when we lived in Seattle and Spokane, but it was too difficult and expensive from Utah and Arizona. But it would happen without us, and people would talk and post pics, so it was a hurt for missing out year after year. But not this year! We saw exactly what everyone else saw. For free! From the cleanliness and comfort of our own home. No expense. No long drive. No parking craziness. No $13 shitty nachos. No terrible and overpriced shasta beer. No wind or dust. It was an introvert’s dream!

-Christmas was spread out: online shopping before Halloween, decorating in November, cooking in December. I’m usually disgruntled about the holiday season b/c I’m completely overwhelmed and there are all these expectations and societal pressures. But spread over 3 months is more festive, and less stressful! I’m doing it this way from now on.

This isn’t it, but similar

*Mardi Gras: went out to eat, had the cake, watched YouTube videos, listened to podcasts, had a gold/green/purple outfit. Just got really into it!

-My former Supervisor only did one 1:1 with me in the year (the company mandates a monthly one on one for each employee) and that one didn’t include my numbers, so I always thought I was doing shitty.  Because I only ever heard when I was fucking up.  BUT my new Supervisor had a 1:1 with me and shared my production info (1st time I’d ever seen it).  

Feb 212.45% of goal

Mar 173.86% of goal

April 149.10% of goal

May 158.03% of goal

June-July I was in training

Aug 143.61% of goal

Sept 144.99% of goal

Oct 148.42% of goal

Nov 156.53% of goal

Dec 159.88% of goal

Avg 156.39% of goal

So I had been so nervous all of the times, having the perception I wasn’t doing well. And people kept telling me all these things I wasn’t doing right, but nobody ever told me what I had been doing right. So it was nice to see I was kicking ass on my production!

*Phoenix Lights of the World. We were smart and went in January. So we totally missed the crowds–which made it so much more fun! There were all kinds of giant animals and stuff related to each of the continents. So it was good pictures, and a non-crowded, non-stressful time. After we’re vaccinated and things are happening again, we’ll make sure to hit this in January after the holiday crowds have dispersed.

-lots of time saved with delivery groceries. This is a luxury that we usually don’t never have indulged.

-Good music. 2020 had a lot of albums that I liked, and special mention for Taylor Swift putting out not one but two surprise albums. And both inspired me to analyze, which I like, and stretches my brain.

-sitting outside in the yard w/the kitties. Because we were home all the time, we had a lot more time with each other and the kitties–which I loved. And because it’s AZ, the weather allowed us to work outside, and sit outside, and play games like ladders and jumbo jenga outside. And without all the showering, commuting/traffic, errands, and all that we gained lots of hours in our week. It was beautiful, and I want to keep it this way forever!

*Innings Festival. The last event in Feb before we knew Covid-19 was upon us. We love music. We love food. We love drinking in a park. And this year the headliner was Dave Matthews Band! Also, the venue is in very close proximity to our house, so it’s very convenient. It was a good, good time, as Dave would say.

-less guilt about ordering delivery restaurant food. We love restaurant food, but know it’s full of fat and salt, and really hurts the wallet. But with grocery stores getting striped, and delivery difficult sometimes, this became nearer to a necessity item. Which has been such a treat! I’ll be sad when we’re able to go back inside a grocery store and this is over. We’ve eaten really well this quarantine 🙂

*got a treadmill! My used Craigslist treadmill finally died before we moved to AZ. And we lived in a teeny, tiny 3rd floor apartment for nearly 2 years, so we didn’t replace it. But this year in Feb, I used my bonus money to get a really nice (new to us) used one. It is SO much easier to run my daily mile. And I don’t know what I would have done without it during this pandemic. We use it every. single. day. And I love it.

-(contact-free) getting a kitten–Bison. We had been discussing a kitten for some time now, and had even named a future kitten. When we found out we got to work from home, we thought it would be the perfect time to situate a new kitten. So we got Bison. He is very ginormous framed, so he doesn’t look like a kitten, but he’s only one, so he’s a true baby. And he is hyper. But also he’s a really good kitten.

-working from home. My favorite movie for the longest time was Copycat. I thought the premise was clever, and it was suspenseful and historical. And I thought the actors did a good job. But I was truly enamored with the agorophbic lifestyle. She had 3 computers, a mansion-apartment, an online chess game, delivery food–everything you’d want. Like, I’m not afraid to leave my house, but that movie made being a shut-in look really classy and cozy. And I’m not kidding when I say it’s been my dream to live that way ever since I saw it. What a relief it would be! But I thought I’d either have to win the lottery or retire in order to achieve it. But 2020 has been a lot like that.

Our CEO is old-school and said nobody, never, ever would work from home for any length of time ever. And when the pandemic began, all 200 of us worked at low cubes in that same room, sharing 2 bathrooms. Then, when the hospitals were getting overwhelmed, work said we would be split into an A group and a B group and every other week one or the other would work from home so the people remaining in the office could socially distance. They still didn’t really want to let us work from home. But pretty soon, Covid-19 was real bad, and we were all allowed to work from home all the time.

Other than Covid-19, it really has been a dream come true for me. I never realized how tired just going to the office had been making me. I felt rested during the day for the first time in like a decade! And my stress and anxiety went waaaaay down. And we never skipped another workout. Everything good is happening since we’ve been able to work from home. I love it so much, and hope we get to keep doing it forever.

Reflection: Worst Moments of 2020 (11th to 1st worst)

31 Dec

honorable mention-updated driver’s license.  In AZ, you don’t have to renew for like 25 years.  But my parents said soon, everybody had to transition to a special kind of license.  And if you didn’t you couldn’t fly.  So we went to do it one weekend, and online it made it sound so fast.  And all the info seemed like you just walk up and get it and leave.  But when we got there it was a DMV situation with lots of people and hours and hours of boring waiting.  And the germs!  I was freaking out (this was even before Covid-19 was known at all) b/c I HATE getting sick.  We got the license, and we managed not to get sick.  But what a let down.

10-Sneakers were banned from work except on Friday.  I wrote a well-thought, sincere letter trying to persuade leadership to reconsider and allow fashion sneaks.  This was the first time I had EVER spoken out at this job.  I barely talked for the first year I worked there, due to McKesson PTSD.  And I finally found an issue important to me, and carefully, and thoughtfully tried to address it.  They just reiterated policy and acted very corporate, not human, about it.  What a waste.  The whole thing just made me feel like a number or something.  Then, I had to jump through a bunch of hoops to get an ADA pass to wear sneakers to work.  It is very heavy-handed.

9-Pride month got hijacked by BLM.  And I had been really looking forward to it, but there was no to-do at all for it.  Obviously, nothing physical was going on, but I didn’t even get to post, like 1 rainbow anywhere.  And “hijacking #BLM” was pretty much shamed and stigmatized on social media.  I wasn’t allowed to even talk about it. P.S. Pride is necessary. Trans people suicide and violence by others is sky-high. Bisexuals are erased. Gender nonconforming need logistical concerns met by society. Conversion therapy is still practiced. Closeted teens still self-harm, and out-teens go homeless. It isn’t frivolous to celebrate Pride!

8-Arguing with Covidiots on Twitter.  At first, I assumed people didn’t know.  And I watch news twice a day and listen to podcasts daily, so I was getting information quickly.  I tried to educate, and that was a losing battle.  I would refute their nonsense and write facts, but people would argue, tweet by tweet for like, days, at a time.  I soon realized it wasn’t legitimate lack of knowledge on their part but selfishness, political-brainwashing, and willful ignorance.  Now, I do not engage with any individual, b/c it would make me rageful and insane.  I’ll just put a fact-based tweet in general, or navigate away entirely.

7-I had the high of knowing my dink-Supervisor transferred departments.  I had been keeping a log of all his infractions, and had been talking to his boss about it, who (mostly seemed annoyed I was saying anything, and making her work) assured me he was on a mediation plan.  So it was really a happy moment to find he wasn’t going to be in my life any more.  And I wondered what new blood would be in charge of my team.  I hoped I could start out on the right foot with them.  And I hoped they would care a lot more, and be a go-getter, and really make a positive change!  Oh the possibilities!  But my supervisor was replaced with this other guy I had previously worked with, who can be arrogant/condescending/sexist/dinky.  I had been hoping for just someone new and better–so it was a big disappointment that one dink, was replaced with the ONLY other person at the job I didn’t like.

6-My (now) former supervisor wanted me to go to advanced training.  When I asked if it was in the work building and was concerned about going back physically because of Covid-19, he yanked me out of training.  I had to go to H.R. about it because the training was never even planned to be in the building, it was over Zoom, and you can’t yank someone’s promotional opportunity because you’re a Covidiot that doesn’t believe in science.  But it felt bad to have to fight for public health, fight to keep my promotional opportunity. So after a year, I had finally spoken. I asked about the shoes. But then, my supervisor kept doing shitty things, and after I had documented like 30 terrible things, I felt like I had to say something. But now this very important thing came up– and now I’m considered a squeaky wheel. Which is not accurate.

5-Difficulty, time, and struggle to get things delivered from about March to late August?  Toilet paper, Clorox-Wipes, Lysol, and a lot of the food we usually keep on hand were out.  And I was having to repeatedly check Costco, Walmart, Amazon, the Dollar Store, etc… just to get basics.  When the pandemic first started, NONE of those companies were prepared, and everything was a hassle to impossible.  I had a toilet paper A (ration), B(napkins), (Magazine pages), D (leaves) emergency plan.  It’s funny, byt also not an exaggeration, and that made me anxious!

4-Password issue the first couple days of work from home.  I was locked out of my work account for 2 full work days.  And had to call IT and hold with them forever, be on the line with them for long times, and be so frustrated when their interventions were unsuccessful.  I felt stressed and guilty b/c it was literally the first week we were allowed to work from home, and I didn’t want my job to think I was taking advantage and fucking around.  But I also didn’t want to go into the building and get Covid-19, or get fired about it.  

3-My Prop 208 homework. Arizona has been gyped of education by many crooked CEOs, lobbyists, Koch Brothers, corrupts politicians, and as a result the schools are abysmal. I am big on education, because that really is a thing that pulls people up, and helps poverty, and helps people vote better. These things matter by the time a pandemic strikes. Also, my mom is a teacher, and I just think AZ can do better. So this proposition was supposed to tax wealthy individuals to help schools. But of course all the greedy grifters had a big disinformation campaign to trick Arizonans into voting against their best interests. So for 6 weeks leading up to the election, I took it upon myself to refute the scores of people bending facts, lying, and tricking voters about what the prop is, and who it impacts. And people here hate teachers. They have zero respect for the teaching profession and think the educators are over paid. And they regard school as free daycare, really. And a lot of Arizonans hate paying any taxes at all–even to educate kids. It was exhausting! I probably did 2 hours per day every single day of those 2 weeks, with a surge that last week. It was tiring arguing with liars, and trying to convince argumentative ignorants. The prop did pass-yay! But by the slimmest of margins (sad and maddening). And now those dirty money-hungry people are trying to overturn it in courts. gerr.

2-My mid-level manager routinely doesn’t read or pay attention.  And it’s totally annoying, b/c she’ll ask questions she should know, or could easily look up.  Or she’ll get after me, b/c she didn’t read properly.  We follow workflows, and my end point directed me to send the claim to her.  I sent a bunch of info including many numbers and 2 screenshots to this manager.  She didn’t understand it somehow–which is really stupid.  My (new) supervisor wrote to me telling me to make sure to include more info with my “questions” (but this was not a question, it was an endpoint on my workflow).  I asked what else I needed to send (b/c it was more than enough!) and he replied, “more.”  We went back and forth b/c there WAS NOTHING ELSE TO INCLUDE, it was ridiculous.  Honestly, I suspected he hadn’t read my initial e-mail either, he had glanced, seen the manager’s question, and lectured me without looking.  And I felt like instead of admitting I HAD sent more than enough–everything he listed, he doubled-down and gave a generic “more.”  I kept asking, “what else do you need?” Same answers.  Then he said to call him and he would explain it.  But I was like, “I keep a record, can’t you just type out a list of items I need to include in all emails?”  But he was still all, “I can only explain it on the phone.”  Which I also thought was a croc, but I didn’t want to get in trouble for insubordination, so I reluctantly called.  And he literally said exactly what he said before!  He had my email up on a shared screen, and I heatedly asked what other info they needed.  I even told him I suspected the manager wasn’t opening claims, reading notes/remarks, or paying attention to workflows. And he defended that! He said management is very busy, couldn’t I just send more? He said, “more” again when I asked what, specifically–and I LOST MY TEMPER.  The whole exchange was a fucking ridiculous charade.  I sent enough info, but the manager either didn’t look at stuff or was being dumb, and this Supervisor didn’t read the fucking initial e-mail and just assumed I hadn’t sent everything.  And his tone on this unnecessary phone call was jovial, and he was like, “Is that cool?”  And I said something to the effect of, “No it is NOT cool, but you are my supervisor, so yes, sir, whatever you want.”  It was a completely inappropriate way to speak to an authority.  Not what I’m going for at work.  But he was being such a (misogynistic) douche!  An attitude of like, ‘this dumb bitch is so stupid, I’m going to put her in her place because she’s just a silly woman who doesn’t understand things.’ After the call, I sent him 3 egregious examples of the manager not reading or looking or paying attention. I had saved them, b/c this was becoming a chronic issue. And he defended her! Which is crazy. So whatever the fuck…

1-Goose got very sick with the herp.  He’s already under-weight, and we’re always trying to get him to eat more.  We give him appetite stimulant, but he still doesn’t get enough.  When he got herpes in that already weakened state, it hit him so hard.  And he was completely stuffed up to the point he had to open mouth gasp like a blowfish.  So it was extremely concerning.  He didn’t move, didn’t eat, and felt terrible.  Even though we’re home for work, ordering all groceries delivery, and not going anywhere–I took Goose to the vet.  They didn’t offer that much.  Their big plan was to send a can of food.  But I remembered how the feline exclusive treated cats and requested those items.  He did recover, but I was terrified this was the end.

Mandatory Overtime

17 Sep

I hate O.T.–I’d MUCH rather have the time. I’ve done all the extra working (see every “veterinary” or “work” tagged post in my blog) and it didn’t get me ahead in my career or enough money to pay anything important. So why bother?

I start to think about Corporate making billions, off the backs of under-paid (relatively) worker-bees, and it doesn’t set right with me. We need unions to reign in capitalism.

At any rate, at work we are being mandated to work our regular 40 hour weeks, and then an additional 24 hours. It has to be within our regular work window (we have somewhat flexible schedules between 6AM and 5:30PM). Plus they opened up Saturday only from 6AM to noon.

So I am trying to spread it out in a way that will impact us the very least. We will still be doing our daily run and strength workout, and also maintaining our sleep schedules.

9/21-10/16 24HR = 1440 min

In every scenario:

*work 2 sat (every other) for 6 hr = 12 hr [24tot-12sat=12left]

*work 6am-3:30pm (1hr ot) all 4 Mon = 4 hr ot [12left tot-4mon=8hr left]

*fri short as possible

3 options to work the remaining 8 hr ot:

plan A] work 2 additional sat:

plan A1] (2hr = 4hr –>20hr tot & 4 hr spread over 12d)

20 min extra on t,w,r (3d) for 4 wk = 240 min = 4hr

exp:  6:10A-3P or 6:20A-3:10P

plan A2] (1hr only = 2hr –> 22hr tot & 2 hrs spread over 12d)

10 min extra on ,w,r (3d) for 4 wk = 120 min = 2 hr

exp:  6:20A-3P or 6:25A-3:05P

Plan B (no short sat)] spread it over t,w,r for 4 wk:

t,w,r*4wk=12 more days to get 8 hr

8 hr per 12 d (.667hr *60min/hr = 40 min

40min x-tra every t, w, r

exp:  6A-3:10P or 6:20A-3:30P

ADA for Sneakers?!

15 Sep

Dress codes are stupid.  Especially when the job is not customer-facing in any way.  Like, who cares what people wear as long as it’s not showing body parts that are unacceptable for work?!  But Companies still persist in trying to micromanage employees.  Also, dress shoes legit hurt my feet and slow me down.  So I wrote a letter to leadership at my corporation.  It was persuasion to just go ahead and change the dress code because it’s unnecessary:

My purpose is to respectfully persuade you that daily sneakers should be allowed in the dress code.
We are not client facing so sneakers won’t be an issue.  Our professionalism, productivity, and quality will be the same if we can wear sneakers.  If anything my shoes have been the conversation point that brings joy to both me and the people I work with.
Sneakers offer support and comfort.  Which is important to me.  I have genetic bunions that press shoes and become sore and sharp ankle bones sure to tear blisters.  Also, participating in competitive dance For 11 years of my childhood has impacted my feet making them Crack and pop and leaving my arches tender.  Cheerlesding with its explosive jumps (and the resulting high impact landing) and the twisting stunts over 5 feet above the ground left lifelong ankle problems.  And 4 years of pole vaulting and struggling to complete my turn resulting in landing my full body weight from heights above 7 feet have left my ankles stiff and sore In adulthood.  Sneakers provide that supports and comfort to feet and ankles that have known better days.
I seldom speak at work because of anxiety and introversion, but I do express myself through my outfits which I plan a month ahead.  And shoes are perhaps the most important part of the outfit- matching and tieing the look together.  I honor holidays, events, and themes using my attire and thats what makes me who I am.  95% of my shoes are sneakers for the afore- mentioned comfort.  I just bought a slew of pants to meet dress code now I’m reluctant to buy all new shoes when I already have ——— pairs of perfectly good fashion sneakers.
I implore you to please take this earnest letter into consideration and change the dress code to allow for daily sneakers.  They mean a lot to me.
I don’t know why, but I expected a human response to this sincere letter.  I should have known better.  I got the “corporate treatment” instead.  You know, where they copy and paste the rule they wrote and email it to you (again) informing you of the rule.  Which I already knew, and that’s why I was writing?!  Like, change the rule, b/c we don’t need it-is what I was asking…  Alas, I was just given this rule and told if I had a problem I’d need to register a disability.  Which seems very, very heavy-handed.  But I went through the paperwork and the motions and the doctor’s appointment, not expecting much.  And to my surprise, I was granted disability status.  But should it have gone that far?  I don’t think so, just let us wear shoes, ffs.  Below is some of the things I had to put in my fancy government papers:

 

musculoskeletal:

bunions

plantar fascietis

weak ankles

 

Problems:

alignment (especially compensating for unsupportive footwear)

balance

concentration

decreased stamina

fatigue in feet and ankles

muscle weakness

reduced motion in the ankles

sitting (exacerbates pain and stiffness later)

standing

stiffness in feet and ankles (exacerbated after sitting).

walking

 

Prevent worsening of conditions and reduce further problems by wearing more supportive footwear.

 

Need a wide toe-bed.

need support for plantar fasciitis.

need more support for weak ankles.

 

Oh the joys of Corporate America!

I’m Sorry that You’re a Bitch

3 Sep

I’m so sorry I came when you invited me–

I didn’t realize I’d be the fourth party

 

And what a mistake I made going away when you didn’t want me

at your Thanksgiving dinner, you didn’t invite me to

spending the night in the break room

just sleeping in a place with a bathroom

since the one where I was living was through your dining room

But I cleaned and that’s such an infraction

you came in for chairs and saying nothing was your reaction

I’m sorry your later statement was a contrived exaggeration

 

I’m contrite I worked to the best of my ability–

and I apologize I came to my own work party

And I regret that you manipulated the gift giving

 

what a criminal using my kennel duty keys

And I’m genuinely regretful you were spying on me

I was such a thug feeding and dog walking

 

And what a mistake I made asking my mentor for a letter

it was very pushy and I guess I should have known better

Good thing you called the school and said, “forget (h)er”

Tough Anthem Song

20 Jul

I was naive, just wanted to please

I had that big dream, [softer, in the background] You embodied it

I didn’t have that opportun-ity,

kept get-ting dragged down

My fault, grades weren’t my only prior-ity

I was left hanging, my-life rearranging

Needed fam-iliar-ity

I came with baggage, you had it too

I realized too late your un-cer-tain-ty.

I was a buffer, no a-type-ah replace-ment

You left me absolutely nobody.

 

When I look in the mirror it

reflects my innermost spirit

spit the word “no” I won’t hear it

my motivations don’t fear it

 

Your harsh words made my skin thicker

Your head games made my mind quicker

Moved away from you– made my heart richer

Your cold shoulder showed I’m the vic-tor

You’re working that much harder, [softer, in the background] who’s the loser now?

 

You bruise me, you’ll never bust me

my mindset is such a tough one

Ignore the hate I’m so scrappy

Eat shit, I’m gonna be happy

 

all that sacrifice

and several rolls of the dice

Got me livin’ my best life

not exactly no more strife

but most of the days are mostly nice

 

 

 

We Are Getting Called Back into Physical Work :(

21 May

Even though we can do 100% of the job from home.  And we have been working from home just fine since March 15.  And we made production records.

Nothing has changed with the Covid pandemic since they had us work from home.  In fact, cases in Arizona are going up.

They are still adamant we must return to the building June 1st.

And our building is not conducive to reducing the risk of getting sick.  I am absolutely certain people will spread the virus.

We work in one open room.  157 on the claims side, then however many on the opposite side of the fairly open building in Customer Service.  Our cubicles are short, and management already said it would be too expensive to raise the walls.  As I complained here many times, I could already feel the cough/sneeze air of the gal in the cube behind me (because she doesn’t cover her shit).

The long hallways are open, kitchenettes with the water, microwaves, and refrigerators, are part of the big, open room and shared by most.  We all have to enter and leave by badging in and out of one central bottleneck.  There are 2 women’s bathrooms only with 5 stalls and 3 sinks.  They are crowded routinely.  We share them with the CSRs.  The janitor cleans the bathrooms twice daily, and when he does, he closes 1 of the bathrooms so the entire female claims and CSRs share 1 bathroom of 5 stalls and 3 sinks.

I am very concerned.  We already got many messages through the emergency system that someone in our building had been diagnosed with Covid-19 (this was toward the beginning of work from home).

Work says our health is the number 1 priority.  But I find that hypocritical since they’re dragging us back in with no justification in the middle of a global pandemic.

Leadership sent out a handout of the guidelines:

Do a self-survey and self temp check before entering the building (people are not careful, people lie, some carriers are asymptomatic)

Wear masks in common areas (except common areas got perverted to ‘not our big, open room where we all work and breathe for the majority of the day and there is recirculated AC.  Oh, and my supervisor diluted the manual’s instruction more by telling us that the masks are a recommendation, not a requirement)

Social distance and stay 6 feet apart (except the said our short cubicles are 6×6 so we’ll be the same distance as always.  And the bathrooms are going to be a bottleneck.  And the kitchenettes because so many of us have to share them.  And I’m worried leadership will come right to my desk to tell me things or help me with work.)

They said they’ll increase the air flow rate in the buildings they own.  (They don’t own our building.  Even if there is increased rate, it’s still a closed building, and the AC is still recirculated all day long as everyone breathes–without masks).

Work said they’re following federal, state, and CDC guidelines.  (Trump hasn’t really implemented any plan whatsoever, and he has ulterior motives to prioritize the economy over everything else so he can get reelected.  Our governor also prioritizes buisiness because the state ran out of money probably and he’s bought and paid for by corporations.  Our governor has already opened stores, malls, dine in restaurants, bars, gyms, pools, and casinos if that tells you where his priorities are.  And when people broke his recommendations by opening earlier, or having enormous groups with no health measures–he did nothing.  It was not enforced at all.  No fines, no orders to close down.  Nothing happened.  So we can’t depend on that douche to implement public health measures that are reasonable.  And the CDC has been politicized and muzzled, so their recommendations are weak and diluted.

So the federal isn’t doing anything for public health–they’re actively working against science and health measures.  Our red state is tired and inconvenienced and money over lives so no one is helping prevent the spread.  We are in a right to work state, so I have no protections if my work demands I go back–even if I feel unsafe doing so.  And I know even if I fight, they will say we’re essential health care workers so they really don’t have to make any accommodations at all to require us back in the building.  And obviously we HAVE to keep the job.  That’s not even close to an option.

But I don’t like it.

But I get so tired of capitalism and corporate interests jerking the little people around.  I want to have rights and a voice, and wish unions were mainstream.  We needed Elizabeth Warren to take care of some of this corruption and money over lives ideals that Americans just have to live by.  I want to feel safe at work.

I’m legit worried as soon as we step into work we will get the Covid-19.  So what was the point of us working from home at all, if we go back before the peak even hits the state?  I never thought moving to a red state might literally kill me…

Work From Home

11 May

My company is adamantly against letting any of us work from home–ever.  But this pandemic forced them to have to allow it.  Because we work in an open room with recirculated AC and the 157 claims people share 2 bathrooms (and they shut down 1 for cleaning twice daily making the whole building share 1 bathroom) with the call center people on the opposite side of the building.

So we’ve been working from home since March 15.

And I love everything about it:

-I sleep better because I don’t have that anticipatory wakefulness trying to make the schedule.

-I use less utilities because I shower every other day since no one will see my 2nd day greasy, slept-on hair.

-Getting ready for work is low maintenance, because I don’t have to adhere to dress code, put on makeup, fix my hair, or prepare the house and cats for being gone all day.

-I can open all the windows in the cool mornings to use less utilities later in the day on cooling, because I have more time to open them, then I’m home to close them up only when the temp = inside.

-I can work outside on the patio and get some fresh air.

-I don’t have to think about the public bathroom:

*do people think I’m going too frequently?

*are they shutting one or the other down for cleaning so they’re more crowded?

*It’s my rule to pee only in the bathroom–but sometimes that makes for an uncomfortable day.

*What if I have to make embarrassing sounds or smells?

*other people are disgusting and shameless in the bathroom.

*the bathroom is an unpleasant mess!

*Touching anything in there is gross

*it’s a rule of mine to get in and out of the bathroom as quick as possible!

*I don’t like to talk in the bathroom, because of what molecules are floating around–but coworkers and leadership find it socially unacceptable not to say anything…

*I spend a huge amount of my work day worrying about the public bathroom…

-I drink more water because it’s easier to get and see above.

-I save tons of time just eating from the fridge.  I don’t have to spend bunches of time on weekends meal prepping lunches to just grab and go.

-I can pet the kitties any old time I want to.  And fill their water, or top off their food during the day, instead of rushing around in the morning trying to remember, or forcing myself to do it when I’m tired at night.

-Between claims, I can just, say empty the dish drainer, and do little chores.  Instead of having to do it after work, after our workout, when I’m very tired.  Or on the weekends.

-I can have things delivered during the day.

-I don’t have to worry about interactions with my coworkers.

-I don’t have to worry about my coworkers spreading germs (this was a concern of mine even prior to covid, b/c the gal behind me does not cover her coughs or sneezes and I can feel the air on the back of my hair and neck).  Also, we have that recirculated air.

-I don’t have to see my jerk supervisor face to face or have any awkward in-person interactions with him.

-I don’t have to plan my time-table around traffic.  I don’t have the stress of driving with fucking idiots.  I don’t pay as much gas, and the wear and tear on our cars is less.

-Asking questions at work is much less stressful, because everyone has to do everything in writing (my preferred form of communication).  I used to get nervous to ask, nervous when people came to my desk, awkward about what to say when I didn’t have time to plan it or check it, and nervous about people sharing their germs.

-Meetings are better.  I could listen to the meeting while swiffering my floors.

-We can do sit-ups on our breaks, b/c nobody else will see us, and we’re not in our nice work clothes.

-We can dance for a couple min every hour b/c there is no chance for anyone to see us.

-We can dress in our workout clothes last break so we’re ready to start our workout right after we clock out.

-Since we start our workouts so much earlier without driving and changing, we are also finished much earlier.

-I am not nearly as tired or fatigued after working from home, probably because I wasn’t exhausted by all the social interactions and factors of the job.  I’m fretting and preoccupied a lot by other people and the schedule when I’m at physical work.  As a result, we do our cardio, strength, and abs every single day, instead of lazying out a couple times a week!

-I’m less tired and stressed in general.

-Our timeline is more relaxed, and as a result so am I.

-Because we are able to get more done throughout the work day and during the week, there is more leisure time on weekends.  Instead of all our logistics stacking up like usual.

 

Also, I don’t know why we can’t always work from home.  At the quarterly meeting, they said we made production records since we’ve worked from home.  I don’t see why corporations are always so hot on dragging their employees into a physical location when people enjoy having work:life balance.  And the traffic impacts are exponential.  I could see if we were screwing around, not making our numbers, and making tons more mistakes–but it’s the exact opposite.  Yet we are being called back in probably June 1st–which is too soon b/c AZ doesn’t peak until June 7.  I’m sure they’ll pull the “essential worker” card, even though we are fully capable of doing 100% of our work from home.

I wish I could work from home all the time, forever!