Austin [3-29-07]

Penis Extenders in Tejas (Austin part 1)
Current mood: rejuvenated

 

I just thought I would write a mini blog about the actual road trip to Austin. The real blog is coming–as are the pictures. Prepare your body 😉  Bad driving is the norm in Texas. Yes, they all drive big trucks (penis extenders) and are VERY pushy with them. They constantly change (probably 3) lanes, sans blinker, cutting people off. They tail you incessantly and pass to the right. They use their horn liberally. I was throwing up my hostility fist to a great number of Nissans with Texas plates-barf!

During the 13-15 hour drive, we did lots of stuff to entertain ourselves. I was able to finish my quantitative chemistry lab report on the way there so I wouldn’t have to worry (and feel guilty about it) the rest of the trip. Sarah and I also listened to some of our limewire music (1701 songs!). At one point the Spice Girls (it was the 1^st cassettes mix–and you know you loved it) played. We picked our respective Spice Girl names–did you do that when they were popular? I joked about being Paprika Spice, but settled on Superior Spice (inside joke: mocking of the hateful letter), while Sarah decided on Coy Spice, which is fitting for her.

When I wasn’t driving or eating my gas station food–it’s one time when it’s ok to eat beef jerky, starbursts, and fast food– I was looking at the atlas on the way home. There are 31 towns/cities with Laurel in the name. Pennsylvania has 8!!!

 

Get out of my way Chris Kattan! (Austin part 2)

 

Usually I work every 1^st and 3^rd weekend. That means I catch up on homework on the other weekends–not a lot of time for fun. Hardly ANY time is left to GO anywhere, even Saint Louis or Kansas City. Since I worked for people over winter break and am working for 2 people during spring break, I don’t have to work ANY weekends in March!!! I also get 2 Fridays off–happy dance. It is the first time I have had 4 weekends in a row off since December 2003. It’s been a looong time. Sarah and I decided to take advantage of the break and go to Austin Texas. We heard it was really cool and she’s looking to move.

We finally got there after a long drive (see penis extender blog). Lots of interesting things happened. I decided to write a series of blogs instead of 1 really long one, so be on the lookout for the rest of the story. Cut to Saturday night: After dinner on Saturday, we were walking from 6^th street (the main road of drinking and action) to the car (far, far away due to the sxsw festivities) and there was a group of people blocking the sidewalk. FYI: sxsw is a huge festival that features movies for part of the week and music for the rest of the week–awesome, but crowded. Resume story: They blocked the ENTIRE sidewalk. They seemed to be just loitering around, and I had to step into the road to pass. I was annoyed when I had to go around this dude–he was just standing there! Sidenote: Sarah and I had been playing the “that looks like so and so” game the entire trip. When she said, “That was Chris Kattan” I thought she meant it was some guy who LOOKED like the actor. She told me it WAS him, and I definitely passed him all annoyed. . . Oh well, what movie was he in anyway?

Are you kidding me?!! I drive 15 hours away, and THE ex (I decided writing the bad nickname is far too negative for my new philosophy–but you know who I mean.) is there too? I’m just gonna die if I hear we were in the same hotel or bar or something. What are the chances? Well, I’m not positive THE ex was there, but I think so. . . If so, I think it’s a crazy coincidence! Speaking of THE ex–now that I don’t see or hear about (well, either of them) I’m ok with both of my exes. The less I hear of them, the more I like them both. Isn’t it funny how that works? Anyway, how crazy to be in the same place–across the country?

Crazy Texas birds are devious! I guess I should not be too surprised, as the PEOPLE from Texas are a whole other breed. . .

We visited a park (I think it’s where they made Hope Floats) and saw these 2 birds. I’m not sure what kind they were (maybe a pre-vet student should know this, but I guess I’m too busy studying chemistry or something) but they were white.  They also stood about 4 feet tall, taking into account their long, gangly necks.  There was a trail that was between the river and a swimming pool, which led to more of the park. They were in the middle of the path, looking towards the river, and grumbling to each other. It was humorous listening to them constantly saying mrrr, mumf, merr, ruff, etc. . .  I think they were jealous of the birds in the water. They seemed a little agitated.  When Sarah and I walked by, the birds started coming toward us in a menacing way. We quickened our step (I mean, these birds came up to my shoulder and had large beaks), and watched them from a distance when we were out of range. Other people were hesitant to go by. All of them made the fatal mistake of slowing down, which only gave the birds a chance to get close. The 2 birds would reach out, nipping at people as they ran by–funny! One of the birds would put his neck low to the ground and go for people’s legs–like a feathery snake or something.  Some guy came out of the swimming pool and tried to shoo the birds away. He went right to the birds and made a shoo-ing motion with his arms.  The birds were not deterred, they bit the guy in the crotch and on the legs as he jumped away, before walking right into the gate of the pool! I was highly entertained.

That reminds meà Upon hearing a terrible and loud shriek, I wake up at the crack of dawn. This is no easy feat, since drinking started at lunch time, and plenty of 6th street fun had been had each night of the trip.  Anyway, I am startled and curious what is going on. Is someone getting murdered? Is it a car alarm? Are missiles whistling by? Oh, it’s a fucking bird. I don’t know what kind of birds Texas has, but they are loud! It is a black crow-looking thing. Maybe it is a crow. I don’t know. All I know is I want to shoot it since it woke me up so early! This will make sense in a minute:  So Austin has a very visible homeless population. They kind of stake out where the tourists and college students go, sleeping on the sidewalk, panhandling, standing around with their dogs, or selling art. I was very surprised that kids my age where living on the streets there. I wonder how that happens.  I don’t really remember how it came about, but Sarah and I kept joking that it wasn’t birds outside our hotel making such noise, but homeless people (told you it would make sense). We thought it was hilarious–can’t you just see some homeless people climbing the hotel trees and screaming in the morning. Well, maybe you had to be there. . .

Ps-drunk blog will be coming soon!