I want to really emphasize that I judged the list purely on the merits of the studio version, to the exclusion of any live version, or knowledge of the live version. They are ranked as if these versions are the only ones that exist–because I KNOW the live versions are so much better/more exciting/longer jams/medleys/etc! But it would take a lifetime to listen to every version of every live. So the album songs are ranked as-is.
Also, I’m trying something new with the formatting. I took each post it and posted them as they were written, which is best song in that particular category to worst song in that group. And like Memento, I did the big reveal by putting the post it categories worst to best. Got it? Groups are worst at the top of this post to best at the bottom. But within each category/group the songs are listed best to worst.
So here we go:
SKIPs (best to worst) Let You Down (C) =M Christmas Song (RTT)=M Say Goodbye (C) =S That Girl is You (CT) =S (terrible singing) Dreaming Tree (BtCS) =S (long & boring) Cry Freedom (C) =S Captain (BS) =S Pay for What You Get (UtTaD) =S #34 (UtTaD) =S Pantala Naga Pampa (BtCS) =S Grux (BW) = S (very short) #35 (BW) =S
MEH (Best to worst) Dreams of Our Fathers (E) =M Lying in the Hands of God-live (BW) =M When I’m Weary (CT) =M Out of My Hands (SU) =M Busted Stuff (BS) =M Belly Full (AftW) =M (short)
Kit Kat Jam (BS) =M Dreamgirl (SU) =M The Song that Jane Likes (RTT) =M The Song that Jane Likes-acoustic (UtTaD) =M Pay for What You Get (RTT)=N Baby Blue (BW) =M
OK/NEUTRAL 3rd group (best to worst) Here On Out (CT) =N Virginia in the Rain (CT) =N Sleep to Dream Her (E) =N American Baby (SU) =N Lover Lay Down (UtTaD) =N Black and Blue Bird (CT) =G Old Dirt Hill (Bring that Beat Back) (SU) =N I’ll Back You Up (RTT)=N bkdbdkd (CT) =N Stay (Wasting Time) (BtCS) = N (Lovely Ladies turned me off the band)
OK/NEUTRAL 2nd/middle grouping (best to worst) Idea of You (CT) =N Come On Come On (CT) =N Lying in the Hands of God (BW) =N Granny (UtTaD) =N Proudest Monkey (C) =N Beach Ball-Live (BW) =N Stolen Away on 55th & 3rd (SU) =N Steady as We Go (SU) =N Fool to Think (E) =N What You Are (E) =N
OK/NEUTRAL 1st/top of list (best to worst) Mercy-Live (AftW) =N Samurai Cop (Oh Joy Begin) (CT) =N The Riff AftW) =N One Sweet World (RTT) =N Smooth Rider (SU) =N Dancing Nancies-acoustic (UtTaD) =N Seek Up (RTT)=N Gaucho (AftW) =N (awesome, but hate the kids singing) Minarets (RTT)=N So Right (E) =N Sweet-live (AftW) =Gr If I Had It All (E) =N
low good (2nd half of good list, best to worst) Typical Situation (RTT)=G Mercy (AftW) =Gr You Might Die Trying (SU) =Gr Everybody Wake Up (SU) =G Raven (BS) =G Satellite (RTT) =G Snow Outside (AftW) =Gr Where Are You Going (BS) =G The Space Between (E) =G Typical Situtation (UtTaD) =G Digging a Ditch (BS) =G Pig (BtCS) =G Stand Up (For It) (SU) =G Dive In (BW) =G #41 (C) =G You Never Know (BS) =G
Med Good (middle list of the goods, best to worst) Drunken Soldier (AftW) =G Satellite (UtTaD) =G If Only (AftW) =G Sweet (AftW) =A The Best of What’s Around (UtTaD) =G Grey Street (BS) =G Broken Things (AftW) =G Spoon (BtCS) =Gr (bango!) Angel (E) =G Again and Again (CT) =Gr Can’t Stop (CT) =G
High Good (top of Good list, best to worst) Ants Marching (RTT) =G Time Bomb (BW) =Gr (singing passionately!) Squirm (BW) =G Funny the Way It Is (BW) =G Grace is Gone (BS) =G So Much to Say (C) =Gr Shake Me Like a Monkey (BW) = G Drive in Drive Out (C) =Gr When the World Ends (E) =Gr Shake Me Like a Monkey-live (BW) =Gr Gaucho-Live (AftW) =G (the baseline!) She (CT) =G (sounds like Lifehouse) Rhyme & Reason (UtTaD) =G Halloween (BtCS) =G (I’m too concerned about wrecked voice to enjoy this song) Rooftop (AftW) =G Belly Belly Nice (AftW) =G Everyday (E) =Gr
Lower Awesome (bottom of Awesome list, best to worst) Don’t Drink the Water (BtCS) =A Too Much (C) =A (funky guitar, fast guitar, overindugence) Time Bomb-Live (BW) =A (guitar solo! Passionate singing!) Lie in Our Graves (C) =A (violin-centric) Louisana Bayou (SU) =A Jimi Thing (UtTaD) =A You and Me-live (BW) =A Hunger for the Great Light (SU) =A I Did It (E) =A Hello Again (SU) =A Bartender (BS) =A The Last Stop (BtCS) =A What Would You Say (UtTaD) =A (Blues Traveler!) Come Tomorrow (CT) =A (Brandi) Recently (RTT) (interlude) =A (good hoe-down) Mother Father (E) =A (guitar!) Tripping Billies (RTT) =A Spaceman (BW) =A Seven (BW) =A Crash into Me (C) =A Do You Remember (CT) =A
Top AWESOME (these are the best of the STUDIO songs, best to worst) Two Step (C) =A Ants Marching (UtTaD) =A The Stone (BtCS) =A (Epic!) Crush (BtCS) =A (this is my all-time favorite, but the live versions, not this studio one) Alligator Pie-Live (BW) =A Alligator Pie (BW) =A Warehouse (UtTaD) =A Big Eyed Fish (BS) =A Tripping Billies (C) =A Repunzel (BtCS) =A Dancing Nancies (UtTaD) =A Why I Am (BW) =A You and Me (BW) =A
*Covid-19 note: We haven’t been into public since March 14, when we were sent home to work. Other than contact-free vet appointments, walks around the neighborhood (crossing the street if there were other people), and one curb-side pick up of Bountiful Baskets in March. Other than that, we have not had contact with people or gone anywhere. So a few of these items (marked with *) happened before America took Covid-19 seriously, so don’t worry about us being covidiots. Pics on items w/o * are from prior years. About when the sports-world went dark, I realized it was an emergency. Then, after we no longer had to go to the work building we didn’t go anywhere.
-Instead of being in an old stadium very far from where it’s feasible to see games, Covid-19 allowed us to see way more televised WNBA games then ever before. And our favorite team, Seattle Storm, won! And our favorite player, Sue Bird did AWESOME!!!
-My awful/lazy/inept supervisor got transferred to a different department. What a relief.
-Labor Dave Weekend (drive in YouTube streaming). This sounds kinda sad, but it was actually better than having to miss it year after year when we moved away from WAshington. We always went when we lived in Seattle and Spokane, but it was too difficult and expensive from Utah and Arizona. But it would happen without us, and people would talk and post pics, so it was a hurt for missing out year after year. But not this year! We saw exactly what everyone else saw. For free! From the cleanliness and comfort of our own home. No expense. No long drive. No parking craziness. No $13 shitty nachos. No terrible and overpriced shasta beer. No wind or dust. It was an introvert’s dream!
-Christmas was spread out: online shopping before Halloween, decorating in November, cooking in December. I’m usually disgruntled about the holiday season b/c I’m completely overwhelmed and there are all these expectations and societal pressures. But spread over 3 months is more festive, and less stressful! I’m doing it this way from now on.
This isn’t it, but similar
*Mardi Gras: went out to eat, had the cake, watched YouTube videos, listened to podcasts, had a gold/green/purple outfit. Just got really into it!
-My former Supervisor only did one 1:1 with me in the year (the company mandates a monthly one on one for each employee) and that one didn’t include my numbers, so I always thought I was doing shitty. Because I only ever heard when I was fucking up. BUT my new Supervisor had a 1:1 with me and shared my production info (1st time I’d ever seen it).
Feb 212.45% of goal
Mar 173.86% of goal
April 149.10% of goal
May 158.03% of goal
June-July I was in training
Aug 143.61% of goal
Sept 144.99% of goal
Oct 148.42% of goal
Nov 156.53% of goal
Dec 159.88% of goal
Avg 156.39% of goal
So I had been so nervous all of the times, having the perception I wasn’t doing well. And people kept telling me all these things I wasn’t doing right, but nobody ever told me what I had been doing right. So it was nice to see I was kicking ass on my production!
*Phoenix Lights of the World. We were smart and went in January. So we totally missed the crowds–which made it so much more fun! There were all kinds of giant animals and stuff related to each of the continents. So it was good pictures, and a non-crowded, non-stressful time. After we’re vaccinated and things are happening again, we’ll make sure to hit this in January after the holiday crowds have dispersed.
-lots of time saved with delivery groceries. This is a luxury that we usually don’t never have indulged.
-Good music. 2020 had a lot of albums that I liked, and special mention for Taylor Swift putting out not one but two surprise albums. And both inspired me to analyze, which I like, and stretches my brain.
-sitting outside in the yard w/the kitties. Because we were home all the time, we had a lot more time with each other and the kitties–which I loved. And because it’s AZ, the weather allowed us to work outside, and sit outside, and play games like ladders and jumbo jenga outside. And without all the showering, commuting/traffic, errands, and all that we gained lots of hours in our week. It was beautiful, and I want to keep it this way forever!
*Innings Festival. The last event in Feb before we knew Covid-19 was upon us. We love music. We love food. We love drinking in a park. And this year the headliner was Dave Matthews Band! Also, the venue is in very close proximity to our house, so it’s very convenient. It was a good, good time, as Dave would say.
-less guilt about ordering delivery restaurant food. We love restaurant food, but know it’s full of fat and salt, and really hurts the wallet. But with grocery stores getting striped, and delivery difficult sometimes, this became nearer to a necessity item. Which has been such a treat! I’ll be sad when we’re able to go back inside a grocery store and this is over. We’ve eaten really well this quarantine 🙂
*got a treadmill! My used Craigslist treadmill finally died before we moved to AZ. And we lived in a teeny, tiny 3rd floor apartment for nearly 2 years, so we didn’t replace it. But this year in Feb, I used my bonus money to get a really nice (new to us) used one. It is SO much easier to run my daily mile. And I don’t know what I would have done without it during this pandemic. We use it every. single. day. And I love it.
-(contact-free) getting a kitten–Bison. We had been discussing a kitten for some time now, and had even named a future kitten. When we found out we got to work from home, we thought it would be the perfect time to situate a new kitten. So we got Bison. He is very ginormous framed, so he doesn’t look like a kitten, but he’s only one, so he’s a true baby. And he is hyper. But also he’s a really good kitten.
-working from home. My favorite movie for the longest time was Copycat. I thought the premise was clever, and it was suspenseful and historical. And I thought the actors did a good job. But I was truly enamored with the agorophbic lifestyle. She had 3 computers, a mansion-apartment, an online chess game, delivery food–everything you’d want. Like, I’m not afraid to leave my house, but that movie made being a shut-in look really classy and cozy. And I’m not kidding when I say it’s been my dream to live that way ever since I saw it. What a relief it would be! But I thought I’d either have to win the lottery or retire in order to achieve it. But 2020 has been a lot like that.
Our CEO is old-school and said nobody, never, ever would work from home for any length of time ever. And when the pandemic began, all 200 of us worked at low cubes in that same room, sharing 2 bathrooms. Then, when the hospitals were getting overwhelmed, work said we would be split into an A group and a B group and every other week one or the other would work from home so the people remaining in the office could socially distance. They still didn’t really want to let us work from home. But pretty soon, Covid-19 was real bad, and we were all allowed to work from home all the time.
Other than Covid-19, it really has been a dream come true for me. I never realized how tired just going to the office had been making me. I felt rested during the day for the first time in like a decade! And my stress and anxiety went waaaaay down. And we never skipped another workout. Everything good is happening since we’ve been able to work from home. I love it so much, and hope we get to keep doing it forever.
We did some tailgating in the dusty parking lot. Lots of snacks and treats. Also, this was a time when craft beer in a can was like, super-new. So we felt extra cool about partaking in that.
We did not have the photos during the concert thing nailed down that first year. You have to get that particular panaramic angle with the amphitheater, the Columbia River, the baysalt, and some crowd all in the same shot. Also, I’m not sure any phones/cameras were very good for the dark. Things have vastly improved, record-keeping wise. Trust me though, we had SEATS for the concert, sang, danced, and were merry. and afterwards we did some car-camping near the Columbia River, which is a beautiful place to wake up (even if you’re hung-over).
30. Cover songs and compilation albums don’t really qualify for my best of list. But I wanted to give a special nod to this one, because I liked it. And also, because I usually do singles, but this year I only found 2 so I am skipping singles and just shouting out this one:
Revamp (various artists)
“Bennie and the Jets” is distorted and spacey, reminiscent of Sargent Pepper’s Loneyly Hearts Club Band album. “Candle in the Wind” is an unplugged version that evokes VH1 Storytellers. Miley Cyrus is surprisingly emotive in her rendition of “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me.” Because Lady Gaga is such a shameless copycat of Madonna and her entire career trajectory, I often forget the gal can sing–and perhaps with more range than the material girl. “Your Song” is a fitting choice for her, and she does it beautifully. And Sam Smith is this next generation’s Elton John. His version of “Daniel” is impeccable.
Now from bottom to top.
Here are albums I didn’t really care for:
Playing Favorites, Meiko
I don’t get it. She sings all covers. But first, she makes them boring. It’s all copy-cat songs, but done in the style of some weird-ass acoustic-guitar at the independent coffee shop. Write your own songs, then we’ll talk…
Delta, Mumford and Sons
Just when I was beginning to think maybe I was being too hard on them for changing their whole sound, Spotify snuck in “Little Lion Man.” It reaffirmed my huge disappointment in where Mumford took their sound. This new album has no trace at all at the music that brought the band mainstream success. It is slow, it’s not uptempo at all, and there is no acoustic/bango flair even a little bit. Big disappointment!
27. Life is Good on the Open Road, Trampled by Turtles
Firstly, it’s too long of a title. More to the point, Why is their recent work so melancholy? The sound is sad a forlorn and listening to this album bummed me out. The best stuff is when they play super-fast, and this album had none of that.
26. Pray for the Wicked, Panic! At The Disco
I thought this would be almost identical to Fall Out Boy since there are, like 2 bands in this genre. Especially since both of these recent releases have religious album titles or song themes. Yet, what I got from this one was a decidedly bro-y vibe that I couldn’t get behind. Nearly all the songs were of drinking and conjured up the worst type of frat-boy or party-monsters. I’d call this a miss, as it caters to a very specific, narrow audience.
And now the OK:
25. This House is Not for Sale, Bon Jovi
I always love Bon Jovi. He is a legend, and all of his stuff has merit. This album isn’t his strongest offering (or even in the top three) but it’s still good to listen to. “Walls” and and title track, “This House is Not for Sale” are the strongest songs of the album. And I did miss that good ‘ol rock ballad that Bon Jovi is expert at writing and singing!
24. Only Love, Jordan smith
Lyrically overwrought, but the guy has pipes! “Feel Good” has a funk vibe that I like, and it’s really catchy. I think the material could be toned down one or two levels as choirboy singing Disney covers leaps to mind, but the singing talent is there. Lots of potential.
23. Golden Hour, Kacei Musgraves
I would call this poetry set to music. Each song has great emphasis on the writing and lyrics. I don’t really attach to it as a great album like a lot of critics and fans, and do not really think the hype is warranted. It’s nice poems, but the singing of notes doesn’t really move me, and the songs don’t get stuck in my head…
22. The Wandering Hearts, self titled album
They sound like a cross between Seal and Lady Antebellum. The songs are pleasing, yet I feel a component is missing. It could be more catchy or passionate or something-I’m not certain what the last ingredient needs to be, but for now they have a lot of potential.
21. Seasons Change, Scotty McCreary
The album is a feel good country album like those prior to This Hollywood country sound that has taken over. There are love songs and foot stompers.
20. Bea Miller
It’s a pleasant reminder of the strong women who were so prominent in the 1990s
19. Dark Horse, Devin Dawson
The title track is a strong, but low-key outlaw song. “All On Me” is a stand-out. I like the voice, like the writing, and think this is an artist to watch.
18. Nation of Two, Vance Joy
Initially I had this album ranked a lot lower because it is subtle. I said that the album was a little too quiet and unassuming. “I’m going home” was the only catchy song, in my opinion. Low-key is one thing, but a good hook shouldn’t be ignored entirely. When you listen (maybe ear buds were the difference? Or just more exposure?) multiple times the layers built into these songs become more obvious. The instrumentation is varied and beautiful. And no, the songs aren’t catchy like straight pop, but they do grow on you.
The Good:
Dogviolet, Laurel
Of course I want to place my name-twin’s album higher on the list and I do feel this mixing of sounds and genre-eclecticness has great potential. It’s not strong on every track though. “Lovesick” is a mix of indie and folk with a little electronic flare.This album has an unmistakable sexuality about it. Just the longing in the voice, and the “wanting” in the lyrics makes it sound that way. ”Recover” has that pleading to it that I’m referring to in the sexy, desperate way.. “Hold Tight” is just as catchy as Florence and the Machine and has that pop-indy vibe going. “All Star” is sensual, and bitter. And my favorite track is “Adored” which is pleading and angry at the same time.
Volunteer, Old Crow Medicine Show
Happy-bluegrass. Is there enough harmonica in music these days? This album was fun to listen to with songs like “Methamphetamine” and the familiar tune “Flicker and Shine.” It reminds me of Virginia City—or just Virginia mountain music.
No Roots EP, by Alice Merton
“Roots” reminds me of a more tribal Florence and the Machine. There is a bit of funky playfulness. I can feel Merton’s feminism is each song, not so much due to any rawr lyrics, but more the combination of tenacity, strength, and longing in her voice. “Lie to My Face” is the strongest song on the album, an anthem telling some deceitful, philandering partner where to shove their BS–in a sarcastic way.
Encore, by Anderson East
The back up singers lend a soleful, community feel to the songs. “Girlfriend” is the stand out of the album. I saw them perform it live (as opener for Brandi Carlile) and it was meh–very lackluster. For the studio-version, they added some more oomf. It has more percussion, more angst behind the vocals, and makes me feel when I hear it. The other two songs I really liked were, ”All in my Mind” and “King for a Day” which are both very catchy. In all, I wouldn’t say Encore is a contender for the top of my list. But I do think Anderson East has a ton of potential, and we’ll be hearing more from them if they amp of their songs, and keep them interesting.
Vide Noir, Lord Huron
Sometimes, even I’m surprised about how this best album list shakes out. I just listen and rank them against each other. And where they fall on the list is all about how that album only compares to the other albums from the year. I will comment, of course, on person lives, concerts, and my personal biases, but the rank is about how that albums stack up against the other offerings of that year. This is my second favorite band right now, because their concerts are near-perfect. The execution and energy is top-of-the-game stuff. They really need to put out a live album, because their studio work does not even come close to being as great as their performance at a concert! “The Night We Met” feat Phoebe Bridgers, is a story song. “Ancient Names, (Part I)” is probably the best example for a new listener to sum up the band’s trademark sound. I like Vide Noir, because the songs all fit together in a cohesive way. Now, let’s get on a concert album or compilation of live shows. I’ll be first in line to buy that CD!
My New Moon, Amos Lee
This album is what I’d call stoner/hippy-rock. It’s peaceful and easy to listen to, just like you’d expect.
Black Coffee, Beth Hart & Joe Bonamessa
“Black Coffee” will get stuck in your head and is a good single (and title) for the album. And I especially liked the cover of “Sittin’ on Top of the World” as it showcased exactly how Beth Hart can take down to Earth material and jazz it up with her husky vibrato. And Bonamessa really takes this into jam-brass territory with his seemingly improvised playing. It’s a sound that puts me right in a dark, smoky jazz night club. I need chicken and waffles after Black Coffee.
Top 10:
The Port Saint Joe, The Brothers Osborne
The deep voices, the harmony, the outlaw country attitude. It’s a modernized throw-back to my grandfather’s country, and I like it. I find it fun to listen to, and a little different, while being ultra-traditional. I could drink to this, for sure. I could dance. I could do housework and feel bad-ass. It’s nice to hear a band that isn’t a super-glamorized, polished version of music. Grand Ol Operey sounds without the slick-money sound of most other country.
Mania, Fall Out Boy
They still have their signature sound, in a genre they pretty much pioneered. He’s hitting the notes-like, whoa. The lyrics are some seriously thought-out writing. “Bishops Night Trick”
Takes FOB out of frat-boy only status, sounding exactly like Panic at the Disco, into a serious place, where talent is evident. The album has a theme and the songs flow nicely from one to the next. I’m as surprised as you this even made the list, let alone cracked the top ten. They have an epic-sound in this album,(listen to “Church”) and a tight theme. It’s the singing, itself that really pushes this album to that next level. Well done, FOB, you’ve risen above bro-status, into major-player.
Raising the Bar, Terry Clark
I initially rated this album toward the middle of my list. The songs alone are OK. It’s the theme and flow of the album as a whole that really makes it special. This is the album you write/listen to when you’re freshly divorced and back in your rural home town trying to readjust. “Giving Up Given a Dawn” is exactly reminiscent of that sentiment. “The One That Got Away” is a good break up song, full of bitterness and regret. And you know that kind of writing has a special place in my heart. I love a good, fuck you song. “”As Long as There’s a Bar” is a good down-trodden country song. “Young as We are Tonight” is about moving on, maybe rebounding, definitely getting drunk and making questionable decisions. And the song that naturally follows, (or precedes, depending on how you look at it) is “Bloody Mary Morning” which speaks of morning drinking. I think the album is cohesive, and has a strong theme. “Cowboys in this Town” is a strong single, which talks about this divorcee seeing other options for suitors–that might even be better than what’s his name. jA+ for finding a theme and really sticking to it, and making me feel like I’m part of a situation and in that place, both physically and mentally.
By the Way, I Forgive You, Brandi Carlile
I have to put the disclaimer out there, that compared to Brandi’s own body of work I didn’t care for this album. It’s obvious to me she is Grammy-pandering. An example is the contest for fans to play “The Joke” most number of times for opportunity to win things. That, is a tactic to increase stats. And it’s plenty fair but desperate, and manipulative? Yup, it’s that too. I’d like to see a more natural and organic fan growth and actual stats. Not just from Brandi, but industry-wide. Let’s get the $$$$ out of music and talent IN. Still, it’s Brandi Carlile! Compared to others she’s still a head above the rest. “Hold Out Your Hand” has fast parts, melodic pieces, and some sass. It’s like the old cowboy talk-alongside and special and different. Really, the only reason she ranked even this high on the list is because her technical singing skills are better than anyone else this year. In the future I’d like to see the songs have more variation from each other. These all blended together for me. And I hope she’ll put the twins a little more to the forefront instead of relegating them to background status as she has in the last two albums.
Come Tomorrow, Dave Matthews Band
This is more of a singing album (vs instrument jamming) then the band has had in quite some time. I attribute it to the lack of Boyd Tinsley, which I am disappointed about. His violin made the band interesting and differentiated them from every other band. Though, Tinsley was a mediocre violinist at best, it still added flavor. That being said–he had to go. That sex-abuse stuff just will not stand with me (and the band, apparently). Though I would have liked more of a public response condemning that behavior. And I guess then I would have complained it was hypocritical considering live outtakes with objectification of women going on by Dave and Carter. Clean up your acts. Anyway, more to the point of the album’s quality–I like the writing and I like the softness about it. Dave’s voice is admittedly, shot–all that smoking, drinking, and screaming to “Halloween” will eventually take it’s toll, as is evident in “That Girl is You” which is a screetchy-dog-sounding horribleness in the beginning. Was it intentionally bad? I don’t know, but someone in the editing room should have spoken up and chopped it. That’s the one blemish, and the rest of the album stands up, with superb, well-thought lyrics and sweetly sung choruses. “Virginia in the Rain” is a good example of beautiful, romantic lyrics, that are nice to listen to on a date. Nothing compares to “Crush” but this set of songs is in the same category. And will make for some nice slow-breaks in the concert. “Black and Blue Bird” (another bird-titled song?!) is a nice, slower song on this album. The rest of the songs are also very nice, and still have jam-potential as we heard at the Stateline Concert. DMB is getting older, and cracks show from time to time, but they still hold up. And they still know how to put on one of the best live shows!!!
Top 5 Albums of 2018:
Songs for the Saints, Kenny Chesney
Do not count me amongst Chenney’s long-time fans, though I am aware he has had an enormous following for a long time. I never got on to his stuff and didn’t really “get” the appeal. Actually, I thought it probably had more to do with the look of his butt in his jeans than his tunes. Songs for the Saints is substantial though. I like the melding of easy-Jack Johnson-type strumming with island-country. “Get Along” is a good example of this hybrid. Easy-going, peaceful, fun to listen to. And I’m not sure that “Ends of the Earth” isn’t a Kenny Chesney that features Lord Huron–I know a mash-up when I hear one (even an uncredited one).
Man of the Woods, Justin Timberlake
Once I got a grip on the theme-and that the album is decidedly NOT rugged as the title implies, I liked it. Read: there is nothing woodsy about the album. It’s a love letter to his wife and cozy lifestyle full of funk and pop lyrics. Same funk and dance as usual, and the same saccharine lyrics (sometimes gross: “your pink my purple”? yuck!!!), too. But also the same calliber of really bringing that performance aspect to the table that we have come to expect of JT. Let’s see this one on Netflix also!
This Ones for You,Too, Luke Combs
Because these songs were on such heavy rotation this year I kept feeling like it must be an older album. “One Number Away,” “When it Rains, It Pours,” “Must’ve Never Met You” wait–are these new songs?? I’ve been hearing them on the radio forever. They’re like old, familiar friends by now. But the record is from 2018 and the songs are so catchy they just took hold quickly. I think it’s a good mix of country and pop. Gravelly-voiced, cheeky lyrics combined with hooks that stay with you. I can’t wait for more. If this is where country is headed I like it.
Home of the Strange, Young the Giant
“Something to Believe In” is strong, it’s catchy and makes me want to sing, and when the band performed the song live at Innings Festival it was so extra. “Nothing’s Over” is a little more low-key (comparatively) and still catchy in a mesmerizing way. This is my favorite band right now, because they are so great in concert–very high energy. And they can write catchy, yet lyrically-relevant material. I (of course) wanted to rank this CD in the number one spot, but I think Ben Harper catches a wider variety of sounds, harkens back to jazz/r&b/rock’s roots in America, and masters several different instruments. But Young the Giant is going to take the world!
–>late addition–<
Oh no! How can this happen? I’ll tell you: The email that had been my primary in the past gets auto-forwarded to my new primary email. And this has always worked well. I still give whatever email address and everything ends up in the one I check-no effort required. And I use different addresses for different purposes. So I was always receiving emails. I might have noticed an issue if emails just stopped altogether. But sometimes I’d forget my passwords on whatever and have it emailed, and just never get that email. So I thought whatever it was I was using was acting all glitchy–since the email and password weren’t working. And I can’t remember how I figured out there was an issue, but my email had stopped auto-fowarding. Like, months and months ago though. What a mess! All my Amazon notices were going to an email that I wasn’t receiving, as was Geico, and (this brings me to the point of why the preceding paragraph is in my albums of the year blog) my music fan artist update stuff. I was not getting Dave, Brandi, or the Indigo Girls. What a travesty–I missed everything!
So I see TODAY that the Indigo Girls did an album with the symphony that I completely missed 😦 And Amy Ray put out an album in 2018. . .
Holler, Amy Ray
This is most definitely Ray’s best solo effort. And is #2 on my list of albums of the year for 2018. It’s the country/Americana that I think Brandi Carlile is trying to strive for (in order to get a Grammy in a smaller, category-which did end up working for her, she got 3?). Ray, unlike Carlile (who as a fan, I think obviously strayed a little from her authenticity in the last 2 albums) stays true to herself in Holler. I think Ray makes the transition to a new genre easily, and steers clear of disingenuousness. Her gravely, rough voice works great with the material, and she is genuine to her past aesthetic (of folk/rock, sometimes punk–ish), while breaking into new territory. The songs are still edgy and full of advocacy and rebelliousness, as Ray’s writing has always been. But there’s a rural feeling to it that is fresh and welcome.
The varied instrumentation that always features in the Indigo Girl’s songs is still present here, and brings a homey, desolate vibe. Banjo, violin, percussion, even brass brings to mind listening in a shed, a dilapidated shack, or in the middle of the woods. I think this is the closest Amy Ray has ever gotten to her inner self. Every listen just whispers authenticity-there is no put-on here, and it’s a subtle change. I think Ray has found that sweet spot, and I hope her next album is similar to Hollar! I’m sad I didn’t find it until the 2nd quarter of 2019.
And Drumroll Please……
The TOP album of 2018:
Choke Cherry Tree, Ben Miller Band
A new face/voice. Every song makes me want to listen more. Each track seems to feature a different instrument.
“Trapeze” has the melody of a patriotic march, and the lyrics of a circus. The chorus Makes me think of the Bayou. It ends in a cacophony of brass and other things that sound familiar but I don’t hear enough to identify. See what I mean about novel and interesting? “The Outsider” is like a church-picnic stomp. It makes me want to see the band live to see what they would do with it. “Sketchbook” has a fast pace and a story-telling cadence. “Nothing Gets Me Down” is folksy-outlaw. See how each song is so unique, yet the compilation of songs goes together well? And the brass flare-ups make “I Got Another One” special and different. “My Own Good Time” has a waltz time key. And the singing is very folksy-evoking campfire days of yore. “Mississippi Cure” is haunting with gorgeous strings, yet upbeat with some catchiness of a pop song. Lyrically it is the most powerful song on the album, bringing race into the conversation-but in an organic way- not forced or pandering. And I think an accordion is happening on the song. It’s a stand-out on a stand-out album! I can’t wait to hear more from Ben Miller Band-there is a lot of talent and a lot of potential for them.
So there you have it. The top 30 albums in a kind of lackluster (unless R&B is your jam) year. Let’s hope there’s more different types of albums in 2019.
I usually like to post all my reflections by December 31st and all my aspirations on January 1st. Because of a full-time work schedule, and a holiday visit–it didn’t happen this year. I’m setting aside more time tomorrow to write, but I did want to get something up on the actual 1st. Even though I really didn’t have time because I spent the day rearranging the whole living room, organizing all the books, textbooks, class notes, and scrapbook items, and cleaning. And that was a huge project, which was worth it because it looks so much nicer in here, there is more space (somehow, even though we added a bunch), and it’s less cluttered. Anyway, so you’ll see the most important items in the countdown are unfinished. But the post has to be posted on this date, I’m hungry, and times a tickin. So I’ll edit it after dinner and after Cool goes to sleep, but for now–bare with me.
15-the relief of staying at the Missoula hotel at a halfway point in our move.
We hadn’t planned on spending the money. Plus, the cats are generally horrible in hotels, and no sleep is had anyway. But we finished packing, and loaded the Pensky in record time–like it was noon or something equally early. So we decided why stay in a dusty, empty apartment when we could just shave off some miles. We made a spur-of-the-moment reservation at our lucky hotel (lucky because they had an opening WITHOUT a reservation on Independence Day and saved me from a major allergy attack. And from camping at pow-wow in the dust (and allergens). The cats even slept a little that night and it made it a more bearable two day trip rather than one long haul.
14-getting a full-time position with a schedule that still allowed me to see Cool
You never know when homophobia will rear it’s ugly head. I wasn’t sure if any work or housing protections are in place for LGBT people. Besides, this is Utah–known for Mormons more than tolerance. Also, work has a policy against spouses working in the same department. Even though we’re not legal or married or domestically partnered in any way, if they want to make a case against you, they can usually find a way. In short, asking for an alternative schedule to SEE Cool was a touchy subject. With driving time, her job keeps her away from home from 8:15AM to 3:30PM and mine was supposed to be 4:30PM to 1:30AM. We would see each other for 1 hour each day–while getting undressed from work (Cool) ready for work (me), and eating dinner. It just wasn’t going to be enough. And especially with bipolar in the mix and needing to stay apprised of the situation, it was going to be a major hardship. I got brave and negotiated a good schedule, then it was promptly reneged (see bad moments blog). In the end, work couldn’t give that other bitch Sundays, because that left Saturdays empty. I was still not trained enough to take that day, and the other kid who could take it (and didn’t want Saturday, of course) is a lead–so he MUST work M-F. So because they couldn’t move the lead, I did end up getting my schedule. But not because they were doing me any favors. Still, I’ll take what I can get. And now I LOVE my schedule. It’s really ideal.
13-Temple Square at Christmas
Who knew Mormon Christmas festivity would make my top-of-the-year list?! No, I haven’t been drinking the Utah koolade, it’s just that spectacular. Around the temple, every tree, bush, and pond is saturated with lights. There’s music and wreaths, and a really nice atmosphere. Both malls have decorations, and all of downtown is dressed up for Christmas. We took pictures, Cool stood in the middle of someone else’s marriage proposal, and we saw a fountain/light show to Christmas songs. The best part? We live within walking distance. We did not have to fight for parking or make our way through the heavy traffic to enjoy it. It’s so nice, people come from all over the state to partake.
12-exploring SLC, especially walking around the city
We didn’t move into this apartment complex to be downtown. It just so happened that the ONLY apartment in our price range that accepted pets, AND actually called us back was practilly downtown. We can walk less than a mile and be at both malls, the planetarium, the sports/concert arena, farmer’s market, the rapid transit–all downtown has to offer. We took full advantage on the warm days, and even some of the freezing ones, walking everywhere this year. And we’ve explored and taken pictures, and genuinely enjoyed this new city. I can’t wait to explore more areas while increasing our step counts.
11-getting true weekends off of work
My whole working life I worked weekends. Kennel work, of course, requires cleaning and feeding the animals. As an assistant, I had to medicate animals as well. In janitorial, those are the off-hours available to deep-clean. I’ve never had a true entire Saturday, entire Sunday off. Every weekend. So when I went to a corporate job it was a really nice treat being in sync with the rest of the world (and Cool). This only lasted for 3 months, but it was MY choice to work Sundays, and I exchanged it for Friday and Saturdays off and a late-start on Wednesday, so I’m still winning.
10-having a larger, brighter, more functional kitchen
I knew I didn’t love the galley kitchen in Spokompton. It was dark and unventilated and there was very little storage. But I didn’t really how much I hated it until I got a huge, bright, super-storage kitchen that was more open. All the kitchen stuff fits in it, AND there’s counter space!
9-getting a job in another state, before we moved
Moving is horribly stressful. And it’s expensive. I feel like it’s 2015, you should be able to secure jobs and housing online–but we are not there yet. You pretty much have to be IN the state you’re moving to in order to get the job and housing. Which is a major problme when you’re not made of money. Because where do you stay in the meantime? And how do you pay deposit and rent if you are not working (and you don’t know when you will be)? It’s very scary and logistically almost impossible. But, luckily, Cool’s Spokane company had openings within different departments in Utah. So she couldn’t tansfer, but she was pretty well guarenteed a position in the company. So she got a job. Then, they had another opening in her company, and since I have a medical background and a minor in chemistry (and knew Cool), I got a job. It was one of the greatest moments of my life because I was hired over the phone! And it was a big relief because it gave some answers to questions and a safety net.
8-the entire Christmas visit to my parents’ house–especially the owl painting.
We saw my parents a third time–a record–over Christmas. It was special, because I’ve rarely gotten time off of work to go anywhere. Especially over a holiday. And Cool could come again. So it would be the biggest Christmas I’ve ever had. When I was growing up, it was just my parents and I because extended family lives in Montana where winter weather makes travel dangerous. And after I moved out, vet hospitals got busy because everyone else was on vacation so where either boarding pets or using that time to catch up on their appointments, or bringing them in for Christmas-related emergencies. So I always had to work, and be by myself over the holidays. So it was special just having the 4 of us together. But my parents had got Cool and I a surprise. And they were so excited about it. And really building up the anticipation. We were really worked up into a frenzy about what it could be. At the very end, I guessed it was a painting session, and I was right! So we were excited to try it because my parents had a good time with it previously–and you get to keep what you paint. And my dad especially was all weird when we got there, because he was actually excited to paint, and for us to paint. It’s a big deal, because he’s usually stoic. The painting process was fun, and seeing all of our creations was a pleasure that lasted and lasted. We gazed upon them, commented on their different personalities and styles, and looked some more. We rearranged them and rearranged them again. The whole thing was really the best from start to finish!
7-running on the trail with Cool
Historically Cool HATES running. And she’s not fun to run with because she slacks off, complains, and just doesn’t want to be there. But this summer the stars aligned, she was in generally better shape, the weather was nice, and the trail new and beautiful. We ran almost every day together. She (mostly) actually ran, mostly without complaint too. It was a time we could work on our fitness, then we walked back to the car together. It was a really good time, being out and nature and having no distractions or screens, so we just caught up and talked to each other. It was really nice times and now that our schedules are opposite, I miss it terribly.
6-Getting to see Brandi Carlile in concert
Duh! Brandi always puts on an outstanding show. Even though I wasn’t in love with the new album, I loved the way she performed the songs live. She makes the crowd feel like family. She gets me jazzed up and also moves my heart. We weren’t stressed about standing in line or getting a good seat, so I was just able to relax and enjoy myself–unheard of for me.
5-Hope: Moving to a better, cleaner city with better job prospects and working a job that might offer future (non-veterinary) prospects for me.
Spokane only offered so much. We had sort of burned through what few prospects it had and were reaching a dead-end. We didn’t want to get a Spokompton mentality or get stuck and be unable to move out, and unable to move UP in life. So coming to Utah was amazing. It opened doors and gave us options again. Plus it’s a really clean, safe, walkable city where Spokane is not.
4-getting a washer/dryer
This was a long time coming! I had been doing coin-op since I moved out of my parents house in 2003. And it sucked pretty much the whole time. Taking your laundry out of your house is a burdan. No matter the sute dorm bags, you still have to haul it. And not just out to the washer. You then have to leave the comfort of your house to change it to the dryer. That’s if you trusted enough to leave it unattended in the first place. Then you have to make a third trip to collect it from the dryer. And good luck getting it dry–it’s never dry! That costs a boat-load of money and forget any special care instructions or color-sorting. That’s just not practical. Also, think about if the cat pees on something. Or you spill something. Or after camping when everything is all icky. You can’t always go to the laundry facilities at 4AM or midnight, so you then have to store that ultra-dirty stuff. And it’s ick. So getting a washer/dryer was AMAZING! Now we are real people, and I love it pretty much every time I throw something into the laundry basket.
3-when my parents visited over the summer-especially the aviary day
It took my parents 5 years to visit me in Missouri. And we hadn’t seen them since 2010. So when they came to Salt Lake City almost immediately after we moved here, I was really excited. Even better, I had a training schedule at work that was only 25 hours per week–so I actually had time to see them. We visited the aquarium and went to Cheesecake Factory, and showed them a lot of the same sights we had just barely discovered. Nobody fought the whole time, which was a record! That hadn’t happened in forever–we had gone through such tumultuous times. So it was all really special and really fun. The best was when the 4 of us visited the Aviary. We got to feed Sun Canards by hand, watch a show, and just look at all the bird exhibits. I love going to animal places normally, and including my parents and Cool was optimal!
2-when Cool and I had the exact same schedule, and worked together
It seems like Cool and I are always ending up on opposite schedules. In Spokompton, I worked days, weekends, went to school, and pretty much studied the rest of the time. While she worked swing shift. We barely saw each other. Then, when we got here, we suddenly had the same job, in the same department, and we worked the exact same hours. We had the same sleep schedule, got to hang out together all day, then worked in the same room. I loved those few months! We could do all the errands together instead of 1 person having to suffer through it alone. We could both clean the apartment at the same time, so it was faster and equal responsibility. Our runs could happen together. We had time to talk and hang out. . . Then at work, it’s independent, but we could take our breaks together. But then, Cool got an job offer doing billing in a cubicle upstairs which is more tailored to her personality, so in July or August, she went to the day shift and a different part of the building. But being together was sure nice while it lasted.
1-DMB/Hot air balloons
We visited Nevada and had a great time with my parents! My mom and I went in some historic railroad cars and got lost in Tahoe. We were both very scared (we’ve seen the helicopters searching for unprepared stupids on TV many times) and despite that, we never fought! Which is unheard of for us. Especially when there’s no buffer person with us. And very especially when we’re stressed. So that was a milestone. We also, on that trip, got to see Dave Matthews Band in Tahoe. Which our seats were in the perfect spot, and it was fun to have my mom along–since she hadn’t been to a real concert in forever. And DMB is always one of the best times. But, the very, very best time was the balloons. My mom and I had gone in 1994. And it was miserable. 3 AM is too early, especially when you’re 9 yaesr old. Even though it’s September, Nevada is COLD at that time in the morning, and we hadn’t dressed for it. Also, back then, they didn’t sell blankets or sweatshirts, or warm beverages. We got starving, and they didn’t sell food back then either. My mom and I didn’t have a blanket to sit on, let alone chairs. So the whole time we were tired, cold, hungry, cold, uncomfortable, cold, dusty, and cold. It’s difficult to enjoy even the best things when you’re so physically uncomfortable–and I did not. So ever since then I wanted a do-over. I’d be prepared THIS time! But September and college in no way work together. Every time the Great Reno Balloon Race came around I was just starting school. Or in Missouri, and getting ready for the first round of exams. Or working at vet hospitals and unable to take a busy weekend off. This year, I was only working a training schedule–and they had screwed me over on that PRN deal, so I didn’t feel guilty at all taking a week off. I wasn’t in any kind of school for the first time in TEN years. We could stay with my parents so it didn’t cost a bunch of money to visit. I packed winter layers knowing I would be cold. We made our own snacks and took hot coffee in thermoses. We didn’t have chairs or remember a blanket, but everything else fell into place. I was ready to enjoy myself this time! We got a good parking spot and walked to the event, then stood/sat in one of the only empty areas. We got to see the dueling balloons in the dark, and dawn patrol as the sun was rising. I got great pictures. Then, the BEST part was mass ascention. We had unknowingly sat right down in the middle of the field, so all the balloons were blown up all the way around us. We were right in the middle of the action! And I got more good pictures. It was even greater because my parents and Cool were there and everyone was in good spirits having a good time. I had anticipated the event so much, and had previously been so disappointed, that this was AMAZING! Now, I can’t wait to do it again.
Overall, 2015 was a time of doubt and uncertainty. But it was a very family-focused year and that salvaged things a lot.
I’m not finished blogging. And that dearth of posts wasn’t some planned hiatus (don’t worry, I would have warned you). I just stopped making time, I guess. I used to really think about my blog a lot. If something notable would happen, I’d file it away. At night, I would think of cute blog titles. When bored, I might think about how I would write down an event or story. But this last year was full of surprises. I won’t be sorry to see 2015 become my past. I had been in my post-bac program working very hard to get to grad schhol–and that didn’t happen. So everything changed. And we moved to a new state. Again (for me) and that’s always a huge logistic, emotional, and time adjustment. I got caught up in just getting back to a secure, stable place. Finding the job and getting enough hours and a good schedule, check-check, and check! Getting my car all legit for Utah-check. And exploring this new city and state–a mission in progress. Between that and the daily things, blogging just fell by the wayside. But I’m in no way giving it up. I’ve worked very hard on this collection of posts–and I do enjoy it, when it doesn’t become an obligation. So I’m going to try to think about it again. No promises on the quality or quantitity of posts just yet. I just promise to put it in my mind. Besides, I love looking back at a year, count downs, and looking ahead–which January is ideal for.
Here is a post that I’m not sure why I didn’t publish LAST December. I probably intended on making it better–which is also a reason I haven’t written in awhile. I wanted to have solid ideas, write well, edit, and make sure the posts were GOOD. Well, I’m taking that pressure off, and just getting things out there for awhile. So about my 2014 music listening:
This isn’t some feeling I have, it’s based on statistics from my LastFM scrobbles. If you’ve been living under a rock, and don’t know what that is, here’s a description: An add-on that sends every song played (itunes, Spotify, ipod, ANY program/device that plays music) to the website. The site compiles most listened to artists, songs, and albums. And they do it for the week, month, 3 months, 6 months, year, and overall. Really, if you just learned a bunch of stuff–you should check out LastFM and start scrobbling.
So without further ado:
10] Akon
Has still got it. I’ve always liked him, and still do. It’s good for running and during squeegee time at work too.
9] Hans Zimmer
I think this came about out of Spotify’s Classify list. You can pick a mood/instrument/era/etc and listen to music that represents that.
8] Dumpstaphunk
Because I tried to give all the Gorge Caravan bands that Dave picked a fair shake. But despite many listens, I wasn’t really feeling this one.
7] Piano Tribute Players
For studying purposes.
6] Linkin Park–>Burn it Down
They are one of my long time favorite bands, and they put out an album in 2014.
5] Brian Tyler
Honestly, I can’t even tell you who this is. Lesson–be careful what you listen to if it means nothing. Maybe it’s on a soundtrack of some sort? I really don’t know.
4] Moon Taxi
WTF? Prep for Gorge Caravan–which we didn’t end up listening to.
3] Vitamin String Quartet–>top song: With or Without You
A girl has to study. But it doesn’t have to be a bummer. I get to listen to my favorite songs without distracting lyrics, no problem with that!
2] Brandi Carlile–>top songs 1-3: Turpentine, Fall Apart Again, Closer to You (who knew?)
My musical girlfriend HAD to be in the top spots. And congratulations on 3 amazing openers at the Gorge!!!
1] Dave Matthews Band–>with 1-5 most played songs: Lie in Our Graves (a summer tour staple), The Stone, Ants Marching, Crush, and Crash.
Of course. Because of concert prep, excitement before and after the ticket purchase, excitement before and after the concerts, and just all the billions of versions of each song–it’s obvious it added up.
I feel like I should explain my long absence to you, my readers. And really, there’s no real reason for it. And I don’t want to get into a whole big thing. So I’ll skip it–cause I can.
And I feel like I should talk about my visit to Nevada, the DMB concert (great seats!) and the Reno Balloon Races (fun and is it possible to make this an annual adventure for us?!) but it would take a long time. And I just spent three days uploading, editing, labeling, and commenting on maybe hundreds of pictures from the week. And I don’t think I could remember everything. And I don’t want to have to sit here for half the morning trying to get it all down, when I want to run the neighborhood and rain is forecast soon. OK, mmaybe I’ll post some of the pics on this blog so you get an idea.
So just know the decade-plus wait was not unwarranted, the balloons will probably go down as my favorite moment of 2015, with the Brandi concert, DMB, my parents’ June visit, and our first visit to SLC rounding out the top five times of 2015. This paragraph is more for me (on December 31st) then you.
Anyway, I have a problem.
I guess I’m being a little apathetic. And it’s probably out of fear. But as a loyal person, I don’t want to get locked into the wrong thing. I never again want to feel miserable, trapped, and stuck. As such, I’m not making any commitments or decisions. Which ironically, is also a form of being trapped. Here’s the things:
I HATE not seeing Cool very long on weekdays. I enjoy hanging out with her. I like running with her, and also know she gets it done when I’m with her. I like eating meals with her. It’s easier to have an equal amount of chores when we’re together.
I like having the entire sunny part of the work day NOT being at work. It feels like I have more time. And businesses are open if I have to run errands. And I see the kitties more.
I LIKE having both Saturday and Sunday off EVERY week. All day long, two full days in a row. I’ve NEVER had that before, and I’m hesitant to give it up. I will be so sad and jealous if Cool still gets them off and I have to go to work.
My coworkers range from dud to douche. And I don’t feel a part of any team, but I don’t have open hostility with them either-I just go about my business. It’s not optimal, but it’s fine.
I know my boss would screw me over in half a second. But I don’t have to deal with management all that much.
I thought I had made my decision to leave and find a day job. BUT I actually LIKE the work itself. Pretty much all of it. There’s no part I hate (except maybe for splitting the stool sample, b/c it’s creepy) and that’s never happened to me before. I wouldn’t want to take a chance of getting into something else and not liking it, or hating a part of it.
I’m afraid of applying and interviewing for jobs, because I feel like my education and experience aren’t good for anything but veterinary work.
I absolutely do NOT want to work at vet hospitals anymore and will try to only go back in emergency (financial) situations.
My finances require at least 25 hours per week, and that’s very tight (maybe impossible when my 3rd undergrad loan comes off deferment), 30 would be better.
Right now I am an “as needed” (PRN) employee. And they’ve thus far (5 months) given me a very consistent schedule of 25 hrs/wk, but that could change at any point. I can work 25 hrs or 0 hours, it just depends who else is on vacation, sick, or quits.
As a PRN employee, I can get ANY day off. Because I’m not guaranteed work at all, I can always say no if asked to work. It’s a double-edged sword.
As a PRN, I may have to work some weekends, just to meet the hours. This is them doing me a favor (not sarcasm) and trying to keep my hours up, even if the demand isn’t quite there.
If I go full-time, I get health insurance, extra pay for working nights, and maybe even a raise (they can count my experience).
If I go full-time, I will see Cool 30 minutes a day (if she doesn’t have to work late, and if traffic allows it) and I won’t like that at ALL.
I’m nervous about going full-time, because 40 hours a week seems like too much. 30 would be perfect, but my current employer rarely offers that (though Cool had that and she’s now upstairs). And I don’t want my life to become ALL work again. I don’t want to be tired all the time. And I don’t want my week days to only be all about working. I also wouldn’t want to be pressured to work over 40 hours–I’ve been there before.
I could apply to other jobs, but I’d have to hope to get something with just 5 months experience. Also, I’d have to take my chances with the schedule, the location, and the work itself. What if it’s worse??? I also wouldn’t want to burn my bridges at the current job, because I would want to fall back on it if at all possible.
So there you have it. I am waffling.
I know I need the money and stability, but I’m just very hesitant and commitment-phobic right now. My inclination is to wait and see, but my finances may demand sooner action.
I hate to say it, because I loved it for so long and was so passionate about it, but the veterinary world scarred me.
This is the 2nd time I’ve been sick in the last few months. After having a years-long dry spell from being full-on sick, it is SO not cool.
I blame the Y. My sleep schedule still isn’t what it should be, and combined with all those germs–then cold weather. I have no chance. It’s the trifecta.
I hate being sick though. Somehow, I thought being sick would be nice–you get to sleep a lot, sit around watching TV, catch up on your reading. Maybe clean the house and cook some things you haven’t had time for. . .
What I forgot was–being sick sucks. I can’t sleep either because I’m congested or in this case–coughing uncontrollably. Nothing is less uncomfortable then being prompt to a near-sitting position, on your back–all night. I am comfortable sleeping on my side, but that’s not possible with a runny nose or cough. So I’m mostly awake all night. When I need sleep the most.
And waking up? Awful!!! You are farthest away from being medicated and very unrested so getting out of bed is horrid. I finished a mile–running,no less–this morning, but it just about killed me. I completed it in a slow, slow 17 minutes (my slowest EVER was 13 minutes) with many (7?) intermittent sitting rests. But I got it done, and have now run for 377 days in a row.
But I don’t recommend that. It really wiped me out. Pretty much all I’ve accomplished today is folding my clothes. And that’s with many rest breaks in between–who know sitting on the floor folding could be so strenuous?! And I still haven’t put all the clothes away, because it requires standing up.
It’s frustrating, because I can’t sleep, but you’d think I could study for my interview, or read, or do something productive. But I feel too sick and fevery to do any of that. I’d better feel good tomorrow so I can get ANYthing done.
P.S. Dave Matthews Band announced their summer tour–which is really exciting.
Except it’s also VERY disappointing. We don’t know where we’ll be, or how much money we’ll have by summer. And of course all the Western venues are in the last week of August and later–when my classes potentially start on the 24th. . . They are so close (the Gorge, Tahoe, CO) but yet so far. So we have to look at, and be teased by the dates–and sadly miss out. I hate that. I am telling you that I’m going to literally be crying crocodile tears when we have to hear all about the tour and miss every show for lack of planning, money, and time. Sad, sad, sad!
So that’s that. I guess I’ll try to watch a movie without feeling guilty. Because I sincerely feel like a$$.
It was a good year, though not in the way of travel and events. It was just a nice, stable year (for me, Cool was swinging up and down rapidly) which is what I needed. Here are the bigger moments that were important from 10-best:
#10: Getting to snowboard again
I love being good at things! And the instructors said I was a fast learner, and I felt confident on the slopes. It was good to be back in the bindings. Cool’s accident and resulting ambulance ride, emergency room visit (and those bills) lower this 2014 moment to closer to the bottom of the list.
#9: Bike Swap and Snowboard Swap
These were really exciting adventures! The research, the shopping, the event. And the dreams for our future sports endeavors–not to mention our purchases were super-fun. And Cool and I got along famously at both–no bipolar issues these weekends-whew.
#8: Finishing my post-bac at Riverpoint (and keeping my 4.0 GPA)
The anticipation had been killing me. I looked forward to this for TWO years, so when it happened it felt pretty sweet. This is low on the list because the huge accomplishment (in my mind) was a little underscored by others and didn’t receive the acclaim I felt it deserved. Finishing 27 upper-level courses in an entirely new and unfamiliar field–WITH straight A’s is a big deal in my mind–even if it didn’t garner me an actual degree.
#7: Two DMB shows–with SEATS. And Brandi Carlile to open both shows.
Usually this would take the #1 spot–and having 2 shows with seats–it SHOULD. But Cool and I had probably our worst fight ever the first Friday so it’s not the perfect memory I anticipated and desire. Obviously, it still makes the list because, hello, the Gorge, Brandy opening (and acknowledging our sign), DMB, the setlist game, merch, and SEATS!
#6: Being named a finalist in a noise-induced hearing loss prevention poster contest!
I enjoy showing my creativity, and who doesn’t like winning something? My poster will be featured at the annual AudiologyNOW conference and may even win! In which case I get all proceeds for the life of the poster. It’s cool and it’s exciting.
#5: The relief I felt when I quit veterinary assisting
Even though the financial consequences were scary, I instantly felt better. Removing those toxic influences was difficult, but well worth it. It was time to go, and I’m in such a better place since I did. I just had enough, and it feels good to be away.
#4: Going to MT over Independence Day and My birthday
This one’s slightly lower, because before we left home, Cool was an irritable turkey so that puts a bit of a damper on the memory. Pow-Wow is always fun, but this item is down in the rank because I had a bad allergy attack. Leaving pow-wow to stay at a hotel in Missoula was amazing. One of the best showers of my LIFE! The bathtub was full of dust, and my allergens (temporarily washed away). It felt nice staying in an oversized room with a TV and sleeping in a cozy bed instead of car-camping at the pavillion. It was partially so nice because it was an unplanned treat and everything fell into place nicely–which rarely happens to me. Also seeing how adorable Missoula is over my birthday weekend, and dreaming of “summering” there was exciting.
#3: Satisfaction of running 1 mile every day of the year
It’s a really big deal, because not only am I really busy most of the time–I’m lazy. I’m very proud to remain in shape, counter my poor eating habits, and do something not that many other people are able to achieve. I’m going to see how many days in a row I can keep this up.
#2: My parents visited!
We had a week full of family activities and my dad turned 70! Everyone (except Aunt Linda) was on their best behavior and I felt like a real family unit. I loved that everyone had fun and Cool was made to feel 100% part of the family. And all the free food and fun activities didn’t hurt my feelings either 😉
#1: The Sky-Fest Air Show
Was a genuinely amazing time, not ruined by bipolar, sunburns, or lack of funds. Cool and I were together and both of us happy and excited. We got to spend the day outside, and tour the planes, and spectate at the shows. We got burned and thirsty, but we were still in great spirits.
want to get into a whole big thing. So I’ll skip it–cause I can.
neighborhood and rain is forecast soon. OK, mmaybe I’ll post some of the pics on this blog so you get an idea.
the wrong thing. I never again want to feel miserable, trapped, and stuck. As such, I’m not making any commitments or decisions. Which ironically, is also a form of being trapped. Here’s the things:
with her, and also know she gets it done when I’m with her. I like eating meals with her. It’s easier to have an equal amount of chores when we’re together.
My coworkers range from dud to douche. And I don’t feel a part of any team, but I don’t have open hostility with them either-I just go about my business. It’s not optimal, but it’s fine.
management all that much.
splitting the stool sample, b/c it’s creepy) and that’s never happened to me before. I wouldn’t want to take a chance of getting into something else and not liking it, or hating a part of it.
Right now I am an “as needed” (PRN) employee. And they’ve thus far (5 months) given me a very consistent schedule of 25 hrs/wk, but that could change at any point. I can work 25 hrs or 0 hours, it just depends who else is on vacation, sick, or quits.
favor (not sarcasm) and trying to keep my hours up, even if the demand isn’t quite there.
If I go full-time, I will see Cool 30 minutes a day (if she doesn’t have to work late, and if traffic allows it) and I won’t like that at ALL.
upstairs). And I don’t want my life to become ALL work again. I don’t want to be tired all the time. And I don’t want my week days to only be all about working. I also wouldn’t want to be pressured to work over 40 hours–I’ve been there before.
worse??? I also wouldn’t want to burn my bridges at the current job, because I would want to fall back on it if at all possible.
Kit10Phish Explains it all __has moved! https://tinyurl.com/bdad9vdm 
Catty Remarks